my grandmother unscrewed
the door to my room
and removed the carpet from my floor

in the winter months
my toes went white and my fingertips hued blue
my lips marred red as i looked to the ceiling
and pondered my importance in this reality

i went to sleep that night and had a dream
i thought was so clever
in this dream i said: 'Roses are sometimes red, and violets
are rarely blue'.
Somebody hand me a Pulitzer this instant

in hindsight, my dreams were foretelling
as i awoke in the hospital with a headache
and diagnosis of hypothermia
the nurses and social workers sat in chairs
with my grandmother beside them  

i closed my eyes and visualized all the
yellow roses and white violets often overlooked
and with a few smiles
and words of affirmations to the guests judging my performance
I received a standing ovation
of vibrant violets and beautiful deep reds thrown on stage
and returned to the Tiled Floors.

I sweat through nightmares,
Clenching the sheets.
In between reality,
And bitter dreams.
How much longer can I fall?
When will I wake up?
I'm giving it all my strength,
But that's all I've got.
No one is scared of heights,
They're scared of falling from them.
Ex. You aren't scared when you look at a tower,
But you're scared when you're at the top.
Legs shaking,
Threating to give out.
Good thing the ground,
Always comes eventually.

I hear whispers,
In the night.
Somebody lurking,
Far away
Or are they,
Very close?
Paranoid,
Hanging crosses on doorknobs.
But does even Christ,
Have the power to protect me from things unreal?
Staring into the dark,
Fatigue eating at me.
Trying to be quiet,
So whatever is out there won't hear me breathe.

Dreams take me back,
To dark winter woods.
Howling winds,
I swear I saw it.
I swear it's real.

A 3am wind
disturbs the fallen leaves
which once lay dull and flat upon the pavement of your day,
those might have beens and maybe yets
which dance and fly with skipped regrets,
they only blow on you it seems
to taunt your mind and seed your dreams

"They say dreams come true.
aren't nightmares dreams too?"
She said
"My biggest nightmare was when
  I dreamt of falling for you."
  He sighed
"Guess dreams do come true."

Kiss
Iced lemon water
Sweet burn bitter taste
Side by side we walked the streets
Secrecy unto my dreams
Waiting for my love to turn on me
Deferred from our path she pulls me aside

The fun house
Who knew what was inside
Artificially preserved
Halted in time
Girls in blue tutus
Hung over the walls
Classical music
An American in Paris
Numbed the senses- the uncanny sublime

Hall of mirrors
Time to play
Throw yourself over the line
Close your eyes and pray
Well lit doorway
Nowhere to hide
He's watching me
“We have to leave”
She went through the doorway and called for me

On the street
Star on dark night
We forgot our destination now lost
She trusted me
Into the rain we ran
Overhead shot
Birds-eye view
Who was watching me?
We got a taxi, I was through
Closed the door
Told my directions
I knew he could follow me
This dream was over
Would I be safe?

He knelt down
Put his arms around me
I screamed
He told me he loved me
Wouldn’t let go
To comfort or trap me I still wasn't sure
Told me he loved me
Should never have let go
How did he know
Says he's watched me before
End my relationship
Lock all the doors
Hide and seek
Likes playing games

I woke up
But jokes on me.