It has been years since
I forced myself for being optimistic.
I forced myself to believe
that my wounds are nothing
but little scratches.
I forced myself to believe
that time can heal all the wounds.

But recently, I then realized that
actually I'm fooling myself.
Because some wounds
can't be healed within time.
The scratches were so deep
and can't be healed by simple ajustment.

And it is not easy to move on
when people around me
are so happy to keep making the new wound
on the wounds that is not yet healed.

So, it is time for me to go for hiding,
living in my sanctuary,
not for running away,
but for letting my soul
completely heal in silence.

Because it is not good if I keep
fooling myself with the all lies of saying
"I'm (always) fine" and "I'm (always) okay",
when I'm actually not..

-Kanya Puspokusumo, 2018
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com