When living with addiction, you focus your time and effort on your next fix. I wish that this was fiction, but its a sickness that your stricken with.

This habits self inflicted, behind your smile your suffering. You hate your life and feel numb inside, from the shame you bare as punishment.

Why do you entertain the thought of suicide, for the position you put your self in. When your depression stems from low self worth, yet your still injecting hopelessness.

Stop looking for a permanent solution, to a temporary problem. Is your life so bad that the only feeling you know is pain, or is it guilt from the thrill you get, as you search, for the perfect vain.

You say you've finally had enough, your fed up and its time for change. But its a vicious cycle with mental strain, because tomorrow came and remained the same.