I'm  getting there. I'm getting to my happy place again. You're still always on my mind, but it's beginning to hurt less. It doesn't feel like there's a gaping hole in me, my chest, my life. It doesn't feel as bad as it used to you anymore when someone brings you up, when something reminds me of you or when I have to go to sleep without you by my side. Life is beginning to go back to the way it was before you ****** around with it .  It's finally as if you were always a distant memory. Soon you'll fade completely. I won't be constantly wagering the "what if's" and "whys" for they will no longer matter. I will simply be focused on the present, for it is a gift I have yet to open .

If you ever think about me and it hurts,
I'm sorry but you did this to yourself.
I tried, gave it my all,
and it wasn't enough for you.
I don't regret trying and failing,
because you were worth every attempt:
You helped me out of a bad place and,
despite the fact that you put me back into a darker one,
I am no longer afraid of the darkness.
So I'm sorry I was wrong,
and hopefully your decision reflects what you truly desire in life.
I hope you can find light in the situation,
as I have begun to do;
If you ever need me,
I'm still here if no one else is around
to catch you if you fall.