Dougie wept
because his zip-off chiffon sleeves
had blown away in a strong gust of wind
that issued from a nearby kebab shop.

Don’t cry for him, though.
He knicked ‘em from a mad old woman.

As first dates go,
'not bad', thought Joe
as his hips ******
to and fro.

His date’s bed rocked
‘til his date’s heart popped
and the fun then
quickly stopped.

The emperor’s dinner was served.
Finally cooked fresh fish tonight.
And when the emperor had finished,
He felt perfectly alright.

Later the emperor felt queasy.
The pain in his chest was dull.
As he fell in a faint,
His stomach was unbearably full.

The emperor lay on the ground.
Trying to breathe with all his might.
In the end all he could do
Was accept he could see the light.

As the emperor lay dying
And contemplating his fate.
Servants raced to find the poisoned food.
But alas, they wouldn’t. It was the plate.