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Rachel F Freeman Feb 2021
Is it relative or are there
definitive scales for measuring
the acceptable levels of entitled embarrassment?

Who knows, who cares,
but it is not advisable to
trip, slip or **** in public places
Andrew Feb 2021
News flash!
Just had the vaccine
O(%\h:#$
No
;>{
<%¥•v£
Side effects
/“€^+\<5
Feel
Great!!
Tony Tweedy Jan 2021
Have you ever sat until some part has gotten really numb?
It happened to me yesterday to the left cheek of my ***.

At first I didn't notice until I tried to up and stand.
What should have been so simple didn't go exactly as I planned.

Initially I rose ***** without any feelings of being sore.
But that changed quite abruptly as my nose impacted the floor.

I don't think I was down too long as the hurt still felt quite new.
Initial pain was somewhat lesser from the grogginess as I came to.

The doctor says it isn't broken and the redness will fade away.
I hope it is so tomorrow as it isn't feeling any better so far today.

For those there to witness much laughter was enjoyed by some,
as I crawled into the ambulance to avoid walking with half a ***.
Another one of those moments.... better out than in.... sorry
Heike Borgard Jan 2021
The Bumble-Bees so happily
from flower to flower they bumble

A scientist insists:
              "this cannot be
                it's an areodynamic  scandal!"

with a formular:  Y somewhat x Phi
he proofes why Bumble-Bees can't fly at all:      
      their bodies are too heavy to fly
      as their wings are much to small

I humbly admit: physic is all greek to me
I enjoy Bumble-Bees and their humming

and the Bumble- Bees seem to agree with me
and continue to fly...

                                   ...isn't that stunning?

©Heike Borgard 01/21
last year was not too happy for all of us and the new year also did not start too happy.
So I would like to start with a poem that hopefully brings a little smile to your faces.
Odd Odyssey Poet Jan 2021
Some puns by the dozen
to crack you up today.
It was exactly yesterday,
that I ended up writing this
while exaggerating.
While it was an excellent feeling,
I really came out of my shell.

My advice to you,
always look at life the sunny side up.
Because life tries to scramble your brain,
just don't act like a hard boiled egg.
And after all these egg puns,
I might need to apologise to all the
chickens for them.
Felicia Dec 2020
"Hey, Excuse me.Can I ask a question?"

Yea, sure.

"Where would you rather be stuck than here?"

Well, that's like a huge question, it's like asking me one a first date "where is this relationship going?" Doesn't make sense right?

So, I actually find questions like thid very, tricky, you know, like, I feel the aim of the question is baseless cos' I'm still stuck here, even though I'd rather be stuck else where.

Do you feel me? Cos'I feel like I'm already blabbering.

Ok, to answer your question, I think I'd rather be stuck in a library full of different genres of books than to be here.

I mean that's the best place to be stuck, right?

Ok,  get this logic.

If I was born in a library and lived in a library. I'd definitely not be different from what people stuck here are.
Cos' I could have read most if not all, most of what happens here.

I bet I'd be more intellectual than people out here.

Wanna know the best part?

The best part of it is that "books would be my companion instead of human beings"
Wow, that's like, I don't know, the best feeling ever.

Enough of my fantasy, where would you rather be stuck than here?
it was fun to watch you fall down the stairs
until the moment i realised
you had broken your neck

a joke can be so funny
even hilarious
a joke can keep you laughing
long after it's been said

it was fun to watch you falling
to watch you miss your step
but why am i still laughing at your death?
is the joke over yet?
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