I’ve waited so long to talk to you.
I’ve messaged you and have waited
to hear back from you.
I am still waiting.
At this point, time isn’t a factor.
Even if I never hear anything,
I still will wait.

The closest I get to you now
is an algorithm.
Social media suggests you
as a new friend.
As much as I would love that—
to start over and pretend,
as painful as it sounds,
to love you in restriction,
trapped by some border,
like we’re strangers.

I stare at your picture and never
swipe the notification away.
In a way, it feels like old times.
The only thing missing is your voice.
You’re with me when I go to work,
you’re with me when I am in the car.
But nothing lasts forever.
By the time I wake up,
the notification is gone,
the screen is empty,
and you’re gone.

But your eyes—
the way that you smile—
have not left my memory.

I suppose I should be satisfied
with what I have now.
I’ve tried,
but I am not

In the silence where you once breathed, I wait,
As shadows of you haunt every quiet place.
The sun, it rises, but feels too late,
And my heart, like a shattered glass, loses grace.

The threads of laughter we spun with care
Now unravel into tears, slow and raw.
Your whispered promises linger in the air,
But they crumble like leaves in autumn's maw.

How can I hold you in memories alone,
When each thought of you is a knife, a thorn?
In the ruins of us, I stand alone,
A broken soul, a heart worn and torn.

If I could keep you, just one last embrace,
Maybe this sorrow would dare to part.
But now all I have is this hollow space,
Where you once lived—deep in my heart.

Breathing in your smoke is like heaven to me,
Clearing out my lungs of such anxiety.
Your crutch and your dependence,
An endearing call of resplendence,
I think I loved you.

You make me nervous.
To the point where my brain stops,
And my mouth keeps running
Without any indication of where
the finish line is.
Where I begin to speak too fast and too quick
To know what I’ve said, and quite possibly
For you to even follow each word that
Pours out.

Yet Your heart was longing for another,
You and I were not meant to be lovers,
And We were not made for each other.
Oh, how sad times swept away the positive possibilities and the “what if?” worries,
I thought I could only hate the month of August,
It seems I now despise of July.

Stress melted away within my tears as I wept,
Sadness left the residue of itself on my pillow where I slept.
The sun bleeding through my curtains closed,
And yet my room turns an ill ridden shade of yellow.

I thought the outcome would leave me with a feeling of euphoria
Instead I look to my mirrored self, reflecting a state of body dysmorphia

I do not like the way that I look,
Comparing myself to her and your feelings I mistook.
Straighter teeth and an older complexion,
While I hide away, she only craves the attention.
You only knew her for a day and you still went away,
With her on holiday to a place so far, I can’t stay
In this state of mind any longer.

Seeing her be the lighter to your cigarette;
The founding letters to the jumbled spaces in your alphabet.
I see I am only the ash that falls to the ground,
I am not within those letters which you finally found.

I remember when I wasn't so cold as ice.
Emotionally I was more open to the possibility of vulnerability.
But then you came along and changed me
Before I was so open.
Now only a shadow of my former self
My eyes that shined with  ember and hope
Now are dull and tired
The love that I had felt for you
Once
Now is crumbled up like a piece of paper
Fire, passion and intensity  
are gone just like the autumn leaves in the fall
Wondering where to go from here

There's something in me that feels so hollow.
When i got home i used to be so amused because i can't help to tell how's my day to you. How it started really boring because i couldn't get the seat in bus and how my mom was blaming me for things that my sister did.
But now, when i got home, i just sit in my bed rewind all those things we used to do, searching where did i do wrong?

It get worse day by day.

I never stopped hoping that one day you will knocking at my door saying you're sorry for everything you did and you miss me.
And tonight, i gazing at my door hoping you will show up with that sad smile face you had.

I know you hated me for making things looks so major than it has to be. But i really not ready for this situation,you left me without a single warning. So now i'm in hurry to get a help. So sorry

I found you look really calm, are all we had is too heavy for you? So you've already let it all go?

do you remember the stories i told you? The one that i have to stand still in bus like for 2 hours because of the traffic jam? I told you that i'm so weary that day, but hey, i didn't know the day without speaking to you is more exhausting than that.

But i have to let go,life is moving forward.
Before you walk away, i just want to say, thankyou for stopping by.

I'm starting
to forget
your sweet voice.

The way
you laughed
and the way
you made
me feel.

Like I
was special
and the most
beautiful flaw
in the world.

I'm starting
to forget
the moments
we shared
and the love
that i felt.

I don't
remember you
as clearly
as i used to.