i feel like potential is dripping out of the tips of my fingers
golden ochre spilling across every surface
staining everything it touches
marks and scar of waste to show that all i do is fail
use it use it use it
make use of this potential before it leaves you, my mind screams
use it use it use it
so i do i do i do
and slowly ochre turns to a shimmering bronze
i can't pay it any mind

what is time?

is it the hours my eyes are open
is it the breaths i take between your words

is it the months before we speak again?
does it matter when i still fall in your arms

there's only one true love in everyone's life
its what they've always said
it consumes you, eats you up from the inside out
steals your breath and your heartbeats
and almost assuredly they'll love you too
feel all the same things in all the same ways

but im not sure i believe them
because i've loved a million times in a million different ways

some loves are quiet and unspoken
grown from the warmth that thrums in my veins when they smile and thank me for the coffee I brought them

others are the pillars of my soul
made of a consuming sensation of peace when i rest my head on their shoulder

and the rarest of loves makes my heart sing
songs in languages that I could never learn
touches that are followed with three small words

I live to love
in all of its ways

run from me darling
run while you can
i'll be here
till the end
oh
find me
find me in your heartbeat
so run
run from me darling
but you know
that im close
run
run from me
i'll be close
don't you know

here and now
i swear to myself
i'll love someone better

next time

dance with me
under the stars in pale moonlight
skirts catching in our legs
our smiles only a breath part
dance with me
one last time

When my grandfather passed I found a butterfly
Yellow and small hovering around my shoulders, lightly kissing my cheeks with every flutter
I walked five feet, then ten. Bidding farewell to my new friend.
And yet, the friend followed me no matter how far I strayed
And so I returned home to my mother, the yellow butterfly following behind
Then her eyes widened with shock, and, a touch of happiness
Her smile turned bittersweet as she pulled me into her arms
'Look dear,' she said, pointing at my new friend.
'There's your grandfather, he's come to visit.' She reached out with her fingers and the butterfly settled on them.
'How could that be grandpapa, Mama?' I asked, curious as ever.
'When a loved one passes, their spirit visit us in the form of butterflies.'

Twenty years since. butterflies have followed my every step.
I've begun to wonder if they announce the passing of a loved one or prepare me for my own

I can't stop wondering what could've been
If I was braver, if you were shyer
Something in my soul tells me that we fit like puzzle pieces
I feel it in the way we speak with glances
The way your body shifts and moves closer when I'm near
The way the colour blue reminds me of your eyes and warms my heart
There's something about the way you say my name soft but sure
Like you're tasting every letter
I don't know if we still have time.

im afraid to dream
because all i see
are all the ways
you'll never say i love you