I chase fairies
I follow the flicker
I hunt for glimmers
Of hope for love

I chase fairies
I chase the dreams
The impossibility
Of you loving me

I chase dragons
Dreams too large
So dangerous
They will roast me alive

I chase flying horses
Cats with wings
Elves and sprites
All impossible to be had

I chase fairies.
I chase after you,
After your love.
It's not the same.

But impossible enough
For me to catch
I might as well search
For other myths as well.

Having Depression is like finding out that mermaids are real
It doesn’t make sense to you until you’re getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean
And then you think
Oh
That’s what this is
And I’m drowning now,
That’s just……… great
And eventually, with your last vestiges of breath left
You float back to the surface
And you’re fine.
And that’s it.
Mermaids stop existing again.
Because you never actually saw what grabbed you
You only felt the claws around your leg
The cold, clammy hands tugging
With a force that you could never fight against
But you never saw her
So it was all a dream
Right?
And it happens again and again
You are drowning again and again
Until the water begins to feel like home
And the only thing reminding you that you are alive
Is the burning in your lungs
And when everything you had balanced so very carefully starts falling
Off the shelves of your life
When your “mild” depression starts deciding it wants to be more
When being alone makes you feel dead inside
And when losing your cool for one ******* second makes you contemplate your own demise
When do you admit to yourself that you are slipping
You are sinking and just because you can slow your descent
Does not mean that you’re not still drowning
And at the end of the day just because it took you longer to get there this time
Doesn’t mean you aren’t still lying on the ocean floor
Devoid of light and sound
And if you had just climbed onto that now distant boat and sailed away
You’d be fine.
But climbing was too hard
And sinking is so much easier
And you’re scared that if you reach out
Your hands will feel clammy and cold
As they wrap around your friends throats
And drag them down with you
And you would rather rot at the bottom of an endless sea
Than let that happen
So you lie in darkness and wait
For a sound
The singular resounding sound
Of failure
And you slowly float back to the surface
Take a deep breath
And you’re fine.
Because mermaids aren’t real
It’s all in your head

Eyelashes
Bubbles
Sunglasses
Puddles
A glass of wine
A drop of sunshine
A shower
A flower
A sprinkle
A twinkle
Crystals
And fistfulls of crayons

Sadness is like sipping sea drops drowning down the trench
Sadness is the stain of rain glazed moonbeams on a bench

Sadness is my soulmate; sadness she's my willing *****
Softly singing spirits sleep when sorrows are all spent