Expectations on these special days
Reality hitting hard
Tears streaming down your face
Why are you so scared?
The dam of life overflowing
Guilt
Sadness
And despair

Never good enough to those around
Always left with open stares
Feeling anxiety building up
Attention all around


Birds flock above your head
Buzzing fills your ears
Imaginations taking over
Reality barely there

Accepting the position of the soggy bun
Left
In disgust
And despair

Yesterday was the christmas feast at school
And I went with a lot of wishes
And to open my heart to you.
I went in my best attire
To see you in your best
To see your hair untied
flying its softness in the x'mas air
To watch your raised eyebrow
questioning my shyness.

A wish
To be the first one to greet you
as you come to school.
To be the first one to see your smile.
To be with you while hanging the balloons.
To wipe the glitter off your nose.

A wish
to be with you when the cake
has its first slice
To splash the cake to your soft face
past your lips
when creaminess meets softness.

A wish that
you would do the same
to feel the magnet of your hand
on my desireful face
To see your laughter coming out like crystals.

A wish to be with you always
and to melt in each moment.

And I had gone with all these thoughts
only to be confronted by
the long distance between me and you
And my heart and body sprang
with high velocity
to vanish that distance.

And then my body halted
but not my heart
When I saw another pair of legs
walking to you
To see him feeling your hands
To see him walking past you
and
To see you laughing and smiling to his words.

And I was left alone on the ground
With wishes
scattered around   me.
Nothing but
futile wishes..