I’ve seen her before,
A girl in a flowy white dress that matched mine.
When I approached her, she smiled warmly.
Handing me a flower crown she made, she told me her name.

Pretty dresses and high heels,
Barbies and princesses,
Flowers and ponies,
Magic and fairies.

But eventually a princess wants a prince.

Dresses turns to crop tops,
Barbies thrown away,
Ponies replaced by cars,
And magic is gone for good.

Princes arrive for my friend
She is unable to see their true monstrous forms
I don't want to be left behind
A sad fate

When was it, that I, myself, fell for their deceiving looks?

I was ten and you were fourteen
I thought you were the coolest thing.
Our families were close.
My father liked you and your father wasn't there.
Those were early days
Skaters were in and Green Day was sick.
I was a kid and probably bothered you
But you treated me like the younger sister you didn't have
And I worshiped you like any younger sibling would do.
You taught me to snowboard,
"Keep your toes up and I'll teach you how to jump."
You let me have some of your Rockstar
And I stayed up all night.
You'd make sure I was by your side
And if anyone got rough you'd push them out of the way.

My family moved away one day.
You'd visit but distance made it hard.
Age and struggles muddled it all.
I was fifteen when I saw the look on my father's face.
He said you died, the call came earlier that day.
Overdosed on stuff you took for ADHD.
They said it may have been a mistake
But deep down I know it wasn't.
You were smart and knew how that stuff worked.
You were in a rock and a hard place.
I felt the same when I was your age.
I can't snowboard to this day without thinking of you.
Playing Green Day on the CD player
And nodding our heads real cool.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams was written for you.
Things I associate with you feel like Deja vu.
David I still think of you.

Like a flower that blooms only in night
Like a small child with cascading tears from their eyes
I always wondered if it will be alright
If I tried to use my smile to hide sorrow

A small shower bathes the flowers in dew
And the smell of earth lulls me to you
Closing my eyes against the harshness of light
All I see are impressions  against my lids

Hoping to feel the summer breeze pass by
But all I felt were caresses of goodbye
Try as I might I never succeed and I cried
But someone heard my futile pleas
And that is how you came to me

You held my hand and lead me to wonders
A blush adorned my cheeks as you whispered my name
I wished to only adorned your head with buds
But I **** them with a single touch
Yet you still held my hands in yours



© Sofia Villagrana 2018

Dear heart you are leaving
You are leaving me behind
And I forgive you because I left you, and we both remember how much that stung, although you hide your pain better than I do
You hide better than I do
You, better than I.
You are leaving, dear,
You are leaving our world of peach juice dripping down arms
Of midnight whispers
And the overwhelming drone of cicadas.
I watch from across the street
And I realize that you have already left.
You have already left me in my palace of memories
For I left you
I left you, dear heart,
In the actual physical world we built together
So every day you walked the hallowed halls of our youths
Seeing all the places we weren't together.
You are used to it now
The years have taught you that this space is no longer ours
It is yours.
You in your space have earned your right to devote it how you please
You have earned the happiness of young love
You, love.
I wonder sometimes as the childhood between your eyes fades
If you and I belonged to some other world
If once you and I were keepers of some great key,
You and I.
Now we are off once more
Into the breach
Into our wild worlds, so apart.
I wish I could have brought you with me.
I wish I could go with you now.
Instead we have only words with which to hold one another.
Dear heart, I am holding you.
Dear heart.