I had a one night stand with conditional love and that ended in a tragedy.
I've been flirting with romances for quite some time and that left me melancholily hollow.
I got caught on a fling by a romance based on lies and left holes in my brain.
Now I keep my eyes hidden, my ears muffled, and my mouth shut.
From coming in contact with unconditionally love.
I heard she was a sight for sore eyes  but I'm afraid to say.
I haven't met her yet.

It's all in the tryst of our minds.
Where birth and death,
loved each other unconditionally.
Yet with scales on their eyes,
a condition remained.
One loved the other more than the other could give.

This might sound asinine
but diagnose me.
I know there's no cure,
yet there has to be something you could prescribe to sooth this disease.
Make me your human project.
Save me from turning inside out.
I'm on my knees with my hands on my head.
I can feel my thoughts itching under my skin.
I'm scratching my temple down to my skull.
My fingers are breaking bone by bone.
I don't believe in hell but if I did.
I swear,
If I could give it my own redefinition, this life would be it.

I keep asking for death but I keep waking up.
Sun hasn't shun in here.
Since I dragged the moon inside my room.
Rain never goes away and I've grown to love the beauty of pain.
I broke the glass and tore the window screen.
I'm standing on the edge staring down at dying, dead roses,
growing from the cracks of the concrete floor.
I keep trying to sell my soul but i can't find a client.
Come shove me over the edge.
Watch me float like a feather,
and kiss the pavement.
Save me, I feel so doomed.

I woke up in a dream,
from a dream,
where I dreamt I had died.
I felt free.
I was air.
I was water.
I had no body, no soul, & no mind.
I felt alive & then I woke up, feeling dead.

If I could dream of any dream at night.
What would I dream of?
I would dream of waking up after dying.
What a dream that would be.

I've been holding dear to the idea. That everything I hold dear doesn't last.

Finding meaning is like chasing a fugitive but what if meaning isn't to be found? What if meaning is to be made ?