It's been 16 hours, and the voices are beginning to quieten.
My stomach feels empty
but I feel proud and victorious.
As I begin to search through her pictures,
my heart drops.
She is so thin
So perfect
And look at me
I'm so fat
I'm so worthless!
The voices appear once again,
Repeating what I'd just recently chanted to myself.
Only, they are louder,
More vicious in a sense.
Now I feel the pains in my stomach grow more and more
They are so loud
But never did they once overpower the sharp voice of my demon that lived in my head.
After only glancing at my favourite piece of food,
It began to shout vigorously.
Don't be so stupid
Pathetic people like you don't deserve things like that!
Look away!
Don't even think about eating!
At this point I feel ill
I was being forced to starve myself by my own "thoughts"
I can only describe this demon to be my conscience that has turned it's back on me,
It is a messenger from the devil that overruns my every thought.
Delivering so many insults and put downs in to my head.
"You have 4 months until prom
And I'M winning this one."
Soon after that sentence circled my battered mind,
I lit a cigarette and watched the smoke as it disappeared away in to the grey, afternoon sky,
It represented my life,
I was disappearing.
Slowly
But surely
*Disappearing.
