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Terry Collett Jul 2015
After the ball game
on the high school
playing field
Shoshana is still

sitting there
with another girl
so I go over to her
and she blushes slightly

and I say
what did you think?
she looks at me
and says

not very good
are you?
I smile
no not much

but they will
insist I play
at least you're honest
she says

I am
best way
I reply
the other girl

stands up and says
don't want to play
gooseberry see you
later Shoshana

and she walks off
something I said?
I say
no I think she finds

boys embarrassing
Shoshana says
I look at her
sitting there

dark hair
long straight
bell will ring
in a minute

she says
best get back
towards school
she stands up

and I say
where do you live?
I live a little way away
I get a school bus home

she says
so do I
I say
I know you do

she says
you get on
the same bus
as I do

I look at her
do I?
yes you've not seen me
I get on as quick

as I can
she says
I see you though
a bell rings

from school
well see you later then
I say
and she's off

leaving me there
and I wander back to school
across the grass
watching her go

her slight figure
in the afternoon sun
taking note
of her neat ***.
A BOY AND GIRL AT HIGH SCHOOL AFTER BALL GAME IN 1962
Terry Collett Jun 2015
Yiska wants to take Benny home with her after school and whisk him past her mother and up to her room but she knows her mother would watch her like a hawk especially if she had Benny in tow and would ask her all sorts of questions and where do you think you are going with him? but she can dream about it dream she has brought him home and as she passes her mother in the kitchen her mother in one of her dark moods preparing dinner she climbs the stairs slowly imagining Benny is behind her walking up the stairs probably watching her legs or her *** his eyes glued but she doesn't know so she imagines he is and when she gets to the top of the stairs she pauses on the landing and looks down the stairs and waits listening to the radio her mother has just turned on some classical stuff she pauses there pretending Benny has stopped her and has put his arms around her waist and has laid his hands on her *** and she believes she can feel it his hands his fingers moving but it's in the head in her imagination but no harm in pretending so she lingers there for a short duration looking along the landing wrapping her own arms about herself kissing her shoulder don't forget to change out of your school uniform her mother calls out from below stairs I won't she calls back hugging herself extra tight patting her own *** with a hand as she hoped he would do if he were there and they were standing where she is now and put your ***** blouse in the linen basket her mother calls up ok she calls back unhugging herself walking along the landing walking past her parent's room tempted to peek in wondering if she should just a quick glimpse she stops outside her parent's room and opens the door quietly and peers inside imagining she has Benny beside her and she's showing him inside at the big double bed the tallboy the dressing table where her mother has all her make up and perfumes and drugs for her depression and hairbrushes and the mirror facing her and she says to herself-and the imagined Benny- nice bed what you reckon? make a good bed to do it in? the room smells of perfume of all kinds and a scent of bodies and staleness she is tempted to go lay on the bed and feel it beneath her and makes out they are doing things him beside her touching her and she kisses him and he putting his hand along her thigh and make sure you fold up your school skirt and jumper I don't want it just thrown anywhere her mother calls up to her from downstairs she closes the door to her parent's room and says loudly down the stairs I will fold them up and walks to her own room taking Benny’s imagined hand in hers and enters her own room and closes the door behind her and looks around the room as if through his eyes her mother has been in here and tidied up put things away picked up stuff from the floor taken away the tea plate she'd left there the night before and the soiled linen she'd let drop by the bed she stands there and sighs a window is open to let in air-breath of fresh air her mother calls it-the curtains flap in the breeze sounds from neighbours in their gardens kids from down the street she goes to the window and closes it and looks out at the surrounding area making out Benny’s still behind her his arms around her waist his lips kissing her neck she closes the curtains and stares around the room focusing on her single bed with its pink flowery cover her mother bought her Teddy Bear  now ageing by her pillow not that big she says over her shoulder to the pretend Benny but we could still do it if we're careful she whispers to herself she sits on the bed and stares at her Teddy some nights he is Benny and she hugs him and kisses him and has him next to her as she settles down but Teddy's a lousy lover he does nothing and says nothing she sits the make believe Benny next to her on the bed imagines his hand is tapping the bed be ok Benny says using her voice she stands up and begins to take off her school jumper unbuttoning the green buttons and pulling off and dropping it on the bed then unties the green patterned tie and takes it off and tosses it over her shoulder she sighs closes her eyes you unbutton the blouse she tells the make believe Benny and her fingers unbutton the blouse one by one slowly and once it is unbuttoned she lets his fingers-hers really- take it off of her body and drop it onto the floor what do you think? she asks him shall l take off the skirt or you? her fingers unzip the zip and pulls it down and once loose the skirt falls to the floor and she kicks it across the room and stands there eyes closed pretending he is studying her in her small bra and ******* she waits for his words his comments what are you doing there? and why are the clothes scattered all over the place her mother says from the open door Yiska opens her eyes and stares at her mother standing sullen faced by her bedroom door day dreaming Yiska says about what? her mother asks picking up the school skirt from the floor and folding it neatly and gazing at her daughter stern eyed just day dreaming Yiska says watching her mother putting the clothes in a pile and picking the ***** blouse from the floor and holding the soiled linen in her hands this room was tidy why untidy it? her mother says sorry wasn't thinking Yiska says glad her mother couldn't read her thoughts or see the imagined Benny kissing her neck and whose right hand was fondling her right *** because if she could she'd have a fit.
A GIRL DAYDREAMS OF A BOY AT SCHOOL AND TAKING HIM HOME IN 1962.
Terry Collett Jun 2015
Sheila can't settle her mind
to lessons
she sees only
the boy John

in her mind's eye
his words repeat themselves
each time
the teacher speaks

maths
English
double P.E
had to be

got through
until at last
it's lunchtime recess
and she can hope

to find him
on the playing field
after a rushed meal
and she stands

on the edge
of the field looking
out to see if he's there
but she can't see him

and worries that recess
will go and she won't
have seen him
she walks onto the field

and there are kids
everywhere in groups
playing ball games
and sitting here and there

then as she turns
he's there
coming towards her
hands in his pockets

walking across the grass
looking for me?
he asks
she nods and searches

through her mind
for the right words to say
been looking for you
she says

trying to put on
a face of not being
put out
but isn't succeeding

he looks at her
taking in her glasses
and large eyes
and hair pinned back

at one side
with a metal clip
well I'm here now
he says

her name's gone again
he says
what is your name?
Sheila

she says
feeling unsettled
that's it
he says

he looks back at the field
behind him at boys
kicking a ball
Rennie asked me

about a game of football
but I said I was seeing you
John says
what did he say?

she asks
said I need to see a doctor
John says
o

she says
looking at the boy
and wondering if
he wants to be there

with her
do you want to play
ball with him?
she asks

no it can wait
he says
and walks on
and she walks beside him

why doe she say
you need to see a doctor?
she asks
as they walk on

he thinks girls
are a waste of time
beside football
I see

she says
don't worry about Rennie
I want to be here
with you

you do?
sure
I wouldn't be here
otherwise  

o right
she says
let's go sit up
that end near the fence

away from the others
and we can talk
he says
she nods and smiles uneasily

he's is near to her
and his hand
is mere inches from hers
and as much as

she'd like him
to hold her hand
she's frightened
that he might

o what to do
she thinks as they walk
on towards the fence
and sit on the grass

and she feels undone
yet excited
to at last be there
with him

watching him
and taking in
his hazel eyes
and quiff of hair

and glad
she's sitting there.
A BOY AND GIRL IN 1962 AND A FIRST MEETING AT SCHOOL.
Terry Collett Jun 2015
The school bus stops
and kids get off
and Sheila waits anxiously
by the fence

watching the kids go by
looking at the windows
looking for John
one or two girls

she knows say hello
then move on
then John descends
the steps

and she says
can I hang
around with you?
he stops by the bus

o yes it's you
sorry can't remember
your name
he says

looking at her
Sheila
she says
he walks on

and she walks
beside him
what did you mean
hang around?

he asks
just be with you
when we can
you know

lunch times if we're
on the playing field
or maybe after school
do you live far away?

she asks  
they pass by the fence
and entrance
to the girls' playground

he pauses
sure if you you like
I get a school bus
to West Village

where do you live?
he asks
taking in aspects
of the girl

I live in this town
but I can get a bus
to West most days
I think

she says
hoping she can
not sure
he takes in

her dark hair
her glasses
her school tie
untidy

look I'll see you around
at lunch recess
if we're on
the field ok?

she  nods
unsure what else
to say
but then says

yes look forward to it
and hopes he is too
but he walks on
and away

and doesn't look back
and she goes
in the girls' playground
on edge

unsettled
watching him
disappear from view
undecided what else
to say or do.
A GIRLS AND BOY AT SCHOOL AND BEGINNINGS IN 1962
Terry Collett Jun 2015
As she plays
the Schubert
piano piece
Yochana thinks

on Benedict
even as her mother  
stands behind her
listening to her

every note
Benedict's image
fills her mind
the kiss still

feels damp
upon her lips
and cheek
and as she fingers

the Schubert
she senses her fingers
wanting to finger him
her mother says

you missed a note
you are not focusing
Yochana pauses
her fingers

over the keyboard
of black and white
senses her mother's breath
upon her neck

her mother's fingers
tapping her shoulder
and even as
she begins

to play again
it's Benedict whom
she thinks on
and his eyes she sees

in the reflection
of the piano wood
it must flow
her mother says

let Schubert speak
but Benedict's fingers
on her back
as he held her close

are all she feels
as she moves
to the music's pulse
on the piano stool

and as her mother's breath
floats upon her neck
it's his breath
she imagines

is there
and she and he
not there at the piano
but closer elsewhere.
A GIRL PRACTICES HER SCHUBERT WHILE HER MOTHER WATCHES BUT IT'S THE BOY BENEDICT WHO IS ON HER MIND IN 1962
Terry Collett Jun 2015
Miss G puts on Chopin
the old record player's
seen better days
one can tell

by the stylus
and the way
Miss G's finger
lifts its down

on the record
I sit at the back
of the class
with a kid named Rennie

Yochana 's at the front
with the blonde girl
-Yochana's dark hair
at shoulder length-

her fingers
pretend playing
on the desktop
her slim body

moving side to side
in the open backed chair
old ***-less thinks
she the pianist

Rennie darkly says
I'm already watching
her hands going cross
in front of her

side to side
and her slim body
captured in my inner
eye and out

and secretly
I blow kisses
at her
when no one's about.
BOYS WATCH A YOUNG GIRL PRETEND PLAYING PIANO IN A CLASSROOM IN 1962
Terry Collett Jun 2015
The boy John
had gone

he'd been there
for about an hour
sitting on the settee
then briefly
-with her mother's
permission-
out in the garden
where they looked
for birds and butterflies

Elaine had seen him off
from the front garden gate
-her mother peering
through net curtains-
and watched until
he disappeared
around a bend

did you know
he was coming?
her mother asked

no I had no idea
Elaine replied
looking at
the empty place
on the settee
where he'd sat

he does know
you're 14
I suppose?

he's in my class at school
he's 14 too
Elaine said
sensing the place
where he'd sat
beside her and the kiss
on the lips
so sudden so gentle
yet Mum had been
in the kitchen
what if she had seen?

he might have
asked first
her mother said
not just turn up
on the doorstep

I didn't know
Elaine said
then licked her lips
where his lips
had been

can I trust you?
her mother asked

trust me
to do what?
Elaine said

do nothing
her mother said

do nothing?
Elaine said
looking unsure
what her mother meant

do things with him
her mother said

do things?
Elaine repeated
what things?

her mother frowned
and said
nothing just nothing

Elaine nonplus
nodded her head

her mother smiled
now what
was I doing?
she said
o yes the washing
and went off
to the wash room
and left Elaine frowning
at her mother's
departing figure

do nothing?
Elaine muttered
to herself
and patted the space
where the boy John
had sat
then touched her lips
and that was that.
A GIRL AND MOTHER AFTER THE BOY JOHN HAD GONE IN 1962
Terry Collett Jun 2015
There's a boy
at the door for you
Elaine's mother said
talking to Elaine
at the door of her room

what boy?
Elaine asked

he said his name was John
her mother said
looking unhappy
her voice strained

he's here?
Elaine asked

I’ve just said he is
her mother said

Elaine frowned
how did he know
where I lived?

how do I know
her mother said

where is he?
Elaine asked

by the front door
now get along
and see him
and then tell me
what is going on
her mother said

Elaine went down stars
to the front door
and there he was
the boy John
standing by the door

how did you know
where I lived?
she asked him
leaning by the door
unsure what to do
or say more than that

I asked someone
in the village
and they said here
I got the bus here
from my village
he added

O I see
she said
looking at his eyes
hazel and bright

well invite him in Elaine
don't need to stand
on the doorstep
the mother said

ok
Elaine said
and invited John in
and they walked
into the living room
where he was invited
to sit on the brown settee  

I’m Elaine's mother
and you are John?  

yes,I'm John
he said
we go to school together
he added
on the bus
he put in
after a few seconds silence

I see
the mother said

she sat in an armchair
opposite him
and Elaine sat
on the settee
beside John

Elaine's not mentioned
you before
the mother said
eyeing the boy seriously

O I see
he said
looking at Elaine

never thought to say
Elaine said
looking at her slippers

are you friends
at school?
the mother said

yes
he said
we are

Elaine looked
at her mother
hoping he wouldn't
mention the kiss
he'd given her

we share an interest
in birds and butterflies
he said
gazing at the mother

birds and butterflies?
the mother said

yes I bring my book
to school and we
exchange what
we've seen
he said

O I see
the mother said
unsure of the boy
but thinking
he seemed all right

can I get you
a drink of tea?
the mother asked

he looked at Elaine
then at the mother
yes that would be lovely
he said
one sugar if I may
he added

the mother nodded
and smiled
and went out
to the kitchen
leaving the two alone

why did you come here?
Elaine asked
looking at the boy

I wanted to see you
he said
and I didn't want to
wait until Monday
he added

O I see
she said
feeling uncertain
feeling unsure
what she should
say or do

you don't mind do you?
I didn't think
I came on impulse
I don't usually
but I couldn't get you
out of my mind
he said

really?
she said
a smile lingering
on her lips
but not breaking out

yes
he said
ever since you got off
the bus on Friday
I’ve been like this
and he leaned forward
and planted
a gentle kiss.
THE DAY JOHN CAME TO ELAINE'S  HOME IN 1962
Terry Collett Jun 2015
I waited by the pond-or lake as Yehudit called it being a romantic- staring across the skin of the water. Dragonflies hovered over the still surface like miniature helicopters, then took off zigzagging this way and then that. Ducks swam by on the other side gliding on the surface and now and then ducking under the water like upturned boats. Yehudit said yesterday to meet at the lake. I'll be there, Baruch, she said-she Herbrewizes  my name sometimes, most call me Benny-, even if I have to sneak out of a window. Some days her mother makes it difficult for her to get out before chores, and as it was the start of the summer school holidays, she was more firmer than ever about getting chores done. I looked at the bushes across the water leading into the woods that way. Behind me were more bushes and trees of the other part of the wood. There was an area secluded from the rest behind me where Yehudit and I had made love a couple of times. Even though it was secluded we were always on the listen for sounds, for foot steps or human voices. One time a grey squirrel spied on us as we were making love, stood on a branch and watched us for a few moments like some hairy voyageur. I stood with my hands in the pockets of my blue jeans, my white shirt open at the neck and loose from my jeans trying to act the cool kid. On the way to the pond I had passed cows in a field, avoiding cow pats, unsure if one of them might be a bull. I walked past the secluded area wondering we could have been seen by anyone passing by. I couldn't see in so I guess no one would if we were silent and not going it some. I thought it was silent, but it wasn't, there were birds singing, a woodpecker was hammering away in the woods to my left. There was no breeze, the air was still, it was balmy. Then she was there, coming out of the woods by a narrow path. Been waiting long? She asked. No, not long, I said. She was dressed in a black skirt and green top. She stood there staring at the water. Had a job to get out with out too many questions, she said. Where are you going in such a hurry? Mum asked, and so on and I said, meeting Baruch and she said who? Baruch or Benedict, I said. What'd she say then? I asked. Third degree questions where and what are you doing kind of stuff. What'd you say? Yehudit sighed and sat on the grassy bank and pulled her skirt over her knees- spoilsport- I sat next to her. I said I was going with you butterfly watching, Yehudit said. Did she believe you? I doubt it. But she let me go eventually. She lay back on the grass, looking up at the blue sky. I turned and lay on my stomach studying her. So what now? I asked. Have to see, won't we. I eyed her lips. Red, pink, slightly open. She spoke. What if she comes and looks for me? The lips moved opening and closing with each word. I loved her chin, the curve of it, the redden cheeks. Why would she? I asked, lowering my eyes to her neck. I'm fourteen as are you, and I think, she thinks things about us. Such as? Her neck was creamy white, soft, kissable, but no love bites were visible, thank God. She thinks we're having ***, I think, Yehudit said. We are, I said, looking at the swell of her *******, snuggled away like small babes. But, she shouldn't know that; she ought not to even think of that, Yehudit said angrily. Did she say as such? No, but I felt  as if she thought we were or had. Yehudit looked at me. Her bright eyes searched me. So she just might come here, she said, spy on us. I laughed. It's no laughing matter, Baruch, what if she does? We're just sitting here; no harm in that, I said. Anyway, I said, did you tell her where we'd be? She nodded. I had to or she'd not let me out. She'd walk half a mile to catch you being ******? I said. Someone may have seen us last time, Yehudit said. Who and where? She closed her eyes. I wanted to kiss her *******, but they were wrapped away like gifts. Don't know, but someone my mother knows. So we just sit here until it all blows over, I said. How long? Baruch, I can't just sit by a pond all day waiting to see if my mother turns up. I kissed her neck. Soft, velvety. She opened her eyes. That doesn't help. I kissed her chin. Nor does that. I kissed her lips, she murmured then was silent. We kissed. Warm, sticky, tongues touching. She hugged me close to her; I touched her hair with my left hand and her thigh with my right going beneath her skirt. She pulled away. What if she come? What if she does? What then? I said. I'm for it, Yehudit said. We kissed again. My hand touched her *****. She giggled. Stop or she'll hear me, Yehudit said. The pond was still; ducks swam on their way. Dragonflies hovered and took off. I turned away and lay back on the grass, staring at the sky, feeling dampness on my fingers. It's too risky, she said. She may come. I watched white clouds drift by. My pecker had stirred. My heart was thumping fast. Sorry, she said, want to, but I'd not relax thinking her near listening. I closed my eyes, recalled the last time. After church, before she went home, us coming to the pond and it just happened. Us in the secluded area, the sound of the Sunday hymns going round my head, the bushes our shelter, the soft grass our green bed. Not your fault, I said, musing on the last time ******* on our soft green bed.
A BOY AND GIRL BY A POND IN 1962 ONE SUMMER'S DAY
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