Elaine sat in class.
She'd seen John
on the bus, but he
had not looked over

at her, but gazed out
the window, sitting
beside the boy Trevor.
She looked back and

he was sitting at back
of class with a boy
called Rowland, he
looking at some book

the boy was showing him.
Once the pupils were
all there Miss G took
the register calling out

the names. Elaine wished
John was beside her at her
desk; wished he was talking
to her not the Rowland boy.

She sat uneasy, her body
plumpish, her glasses smeary
needing cleaning. Miss G
talked about music; about

Mozart; about his piano
works and put on a LP and
the pupils sat arms folded
or hands over faces listening

-or not- to the unfolding
Mozart music piece. Her sister
talked of boys over breakfast;
what so and so had done and

where and their mother had said
NOT AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE
loudly but did boys really sniff
after girls as her sister had said?

Elaine never heard John sniff her.
He had kissed her that day, but
not sniffed-thank God- and she looked
at Miss G as the music played away.

It's raining
and I see Yiska
in the assembly hall
after lunch

other kids are there
in groups or walking
utterly bored
a few prefects

wander about
on the look out
I go stand beside her
I hate the rain

she says
means we're stuck in
all break then
more boring lessons

the corridors
are packed too
kids passing
back and forth

teachers on
their way places
I say
she stares out

at the rain falling
can see you and talk
but that's it
too many eyes

to do anything else
she says
and the gym's
got kids in it

doing things on the ropes
and mats
keeping fit freaks
I see channels

of rain running
down the window pane
so close yet
so far

I say
meaning?
she says
both here close

but far from doing
anything
I say
she looks around her

at the kids passing
at the groups of girls
talking by the stage
a few boys

swapping cards
by the far off wall
I could have gone
home to lunch

but I didn't want
to get soaked
going home
so I stayed

she says
I recall the time
she took me home
to her place

and her mother
was in a mood
and said little
but I did get to see

Yiska's room
but that was all
just the bed there empty
and her mother calling

where are you
and I want to kiss
her beside me
but can't

what can
a 14 year old boy do?

It looked like rain.

Sky dark and dim.

Yiska stood
in the playground
waiting to see Benedict
get off the school bus.

She needed to see him
before lessons began
or there would be
little chance if it rained.

She had prayed
-at least in mind-
for dry weather
and clear skies,
but it didn't
seem promising.

Kids passed on
their way into
school playgrounds:
boys into theirs,
girls into theirs.

Why couldn't
they mix?
She mused.

One school bus
came in,
but not his,
his was a different bus
than that which arrived.

More kids walked past.

She sighed.

Scratched a thigh,
brushed fingers
through her hair.

Then it came in
around the bend.

She searched
the windows,
hoping he
was coming,
hoping he'd
be first off
not last as he
was sometimes.

He was last,
head down,
hand in pockets,
looking at the ground
in deep thought.

She hoped he'd
looked up as
he went by.

She hoped.

She wondered.

Benedict,
she called,
peering through
the wire fence.

He looked up
and smiled.

Can we talk?
She asked.

Yes, sure,
he said
and he followed her
along the fence
as she looked
for space where
it was free of girls.

Looks like rain,
she said,
looking at the sky,
then at him.

Yes, it does,
he said,
peering at her
through the fence,
wishing it wasn't there.

Won't see you much
if it rains, if at all,
she said.

He leaned near
as he could,
poked a finger
through a hole
and she touched
his finger with hers.

No, unless we
arrange to meet
some place
in the school
at lunchtime.

Yes, but where?
She said,
getting her lips
as close to the fence
as was possible.

He leaned in closer
their lips touched
between the small gap
in the wire fence.

Gym?
He suggested.

Too busy,
she replied,
always keep-fit freaks
in there lunchtimes.

He mused feeling
her lips again.

Warm, wet.

A bell rang.

They parted
and she said,
look out for me.

He nodded
and the girls lined up
in classes.

He walked
off quickly
into the boys playground
around the school building,
thinking of her,
sensing the dampness
of her lips on his,
taking one last glimpse
of her as he passed,
the bell
was still ringing,
but he couldn't
be arsed.

Benny's the new boy
in class
he sits at the back

with some kid
called Rennie
while the teacher

Miss G
yaks on
about Schubert

or some feller
putting on
some LP

as they sit
and put on
interested faces

the girl who
smiled at him
on the school bus

is there
looking over at him
beaming like

a new sun
her eyes bright
as fresh stars

he looks
at her briefly
then looks away

storing her eyes
for some
other day.

She sat watching ducks
on the pond,
I lay beside her
watching clouds pass.

She still wore
her school uniform
as did I having got off
the school bus
and came right
there to the pond.

Yehudit was silent
-a miracle in itself-
birds sang
from trees nearby,
traffic noises
were audible
from the road
over the way.

Still got the huff?
I said,
looking at her
sideways on.

She turned
and glanced at me;
bright blue eyes stared.

You were with her
all through lunch hour
and not me,
she said, and what's
she got I haven't?

I live near you;
she lives near school
miles away,
I said.

And? So what?
Yehudit said.

I don't get to talk
with her except
at school,
I said.

You were more
than talking.

I watched
as she turned away,
her hair brown
and on her shoulders;
her bra strap edged
through the cotton blouse.

She sat in a provocative way
and you were
too close to her,
Yehudit said.

I studied the way
her figure narrowed;
her *** was neat.

I saw you from
where I was sitting.

I saw you,
I said,
gawking at us.

She turned
and stared at me.

Does that kiss
at Christmas
mean nothing to you?
Yehudit asked.

I recalled the kiss
and moonlight
and stars
and the choir sang
carols to people
in the houses.

Means a lot,
I said.

Didn't seem like it
lunchtime when you
were all over her
like she was a *****
on heat.

The school tie
was untied
and pulled away
from her neck.

Her ******* pushed
against cloth.

She hasn't your humour
or your figure,
I said.

She lay beside me
and turned
and stared.

Is that so?
She asked,
eyes wide and blue.

Yes, of course,
I said.

What else can a boy
say or do?

I sit on the grass
of the playing field
at high school

hey Naaman
Ro says
who's the skirt?

he points over the field
at a girl
looking at me
searchingly

no idea
I say
why?

she's been gazing at you
for ages
he says

I look at her
standing there
dark hair
sad looking face
gazing back at me

I saw her in the playground
the other day
when it was beginning to rain
and I called out to her
I remember now
I say

Ro shrugs
so what?
she's just a piece of skirt
he says
how about a kick around
with a ball?
he asks

sure I’ll be there
in a minute

he goes off
with the ball
to join other boys
on the field
calling him

I watch him go
then look at the girl
she looks away

I walk over to her
hands in my pockets
put on my Elvis smile

she hesitates
as I approach
you ok?
I ask

she looks at me
her eyes are dark
as her hair
deep and warm

just looking at you
that's all
she says
nothing wrong
in looking is there?

no nothing wrong
I say
want to have a walk?  

she looks at her feet
the shoes are well worn
the black faded

your fiends might not
like me with you
if you want to play
their ball game
she says
not looking at me

we can walk
no harm done
I say

she looks at me
her eyes are shy

don't know
she says

ok
I say
up to you

I begin
to walk off

wait
she says
I guess I could
walk with you

I wait for her
she comes beside me
and we walk away
from the boys
and their ballgame
and along the fence
towards the play area
with seats and benches
along the walls

I feel her nervousness
she seems tense

relax
I say
I won't bite

we walk by the wall
she says nothing
her eyes on the ground

you got any
sisters or brothers here?

she shakes her head

what's your name?
I ask

Shoshana
she replies
looking across
the playground
your is Naaman isn't it?
she says

yes
I say
how did you know?

I heard someone
call you the other day
she says

I want to touch her
feel her hand or arm
or maybe talk longer
but she seems out
of her comfort zone
and I hold back

best go now
she says

and walks off
back to the girls' area
and I watch her go
holding on
to the slight perfume
she had
I sniff it in it
breath in into me
it's not bad.

She doesn't know
what time
his school bus arrives
but she waits

by the school gates
nervously
biting her nails
looking at the place

the buses come
other kids arrive on foot
to school
but no bus

as yet
and Sheila starts
to wonder
what she'll say

when the bus arrives
and the boy John
descends
and she there

facing him
and he'll look at her
and will he remember
the day before

and her asking
if she could hang
around with him?
the sky looks overcast

dark clouds
she hopes it will not rain
or she'll not be
on the playing field

to see him lunchtime
or anytime
she hopes it will
stay fine

what's the matter
with you this morning?
her mother had asked
over breakfast

you look like you've
found sixpence
and lost a pound
nothing she had said

trying not
to be too anxious
about meeting
the boy John

even as she washed
and dressed that morning
he was there
in her thoughts

and now as she waits
by the gates
kids pass her by
gawking at her

standing there
with her thin wire glasses
and metal grip
at the side

of her hair
then a school bus comes
towards the school
and her nerves take hold

and she stares and looks
for the boy John
and what she thinks
are his good looks.

Yochana says she plays
beautiful music
but I have no way

of knowing unless
she plays for me  
so we get

to the music room
in school before
Miss G arrives

and Yochana opens up
the piano and sits
and begins to play

some classic stuff
her thin fingers
going over

the keyboard
with ease
making beautiful music

I watch her sitting there  
I'm by the door
as look out

taking in the music
looking up
the corridor

then back at her playing
her thin body moving
gently side to side

her hands moving
back and forth
visible then invisible

then I see Miss G coming
she's coming
I say

and Yochana stops playing
mid tune and it hangs
on the air

like a wounded bird
and Yochana goes and sits
in her chair by her desk

and I sit at the back
of class waiting
for the tune to go

and dissolve
taking in Yochana's
dark hair

and slim waist
and the remembered kiss
waiting for the tune

to stop
and the arrival
of old Miss.

She'd slept bad.

Thoughts of John
invaded her head
as she lay in bed.

She'd hugged her
Teddy close; kissed
him pretending.

Stroked Teddy's
head, his arms,
kissed him repeatedly.

Her sister snored.

Her sister talked
in her sleep.

Elaine wished
for morning.

Wished for dawn's
light and birdsong;
wanted John there
in her bed;
in her head.

Breakfast was a chore;
she didn't want to eat;
her mother said
she had to: none of
that slimming nonsense.

She ate feeling full,
feeling ill.

Lovesick her
father said jokingly.

Her mother
was not amused,
said just a slimming thing.

Elaine ate and mused dully.

Wondered if John
would kiss her again.

Did she want him to?
She didn't know;
half yes, half no.

The kiss made her
feel out of her
comfort zone;
made her feel
unknown feelings;
buzzes in her *****.

She sipped the lukewarm tea:
sugary sweet, drowned in milk.

Her sister chatted about boys
and what so and so did.

Her mother said boys
were not for breakfast talk.

Her father said Elaine
-his Frumpy hen-
didn't need to slim,
was OK as she was.

Elaine wanted John;
wanted a kiss;
wanted him to touch;
a little not over much.

Benedict
saw Yiska
by the trees

on the school
playing field
at the top

in the shade
from the sun
some boys were

kicking ball
in a game
girls sat in

groups talking
or laughing
Benedict

walked the field
where Yiska
was standing

by the trees
all alone?
he asked her

she nodded
glad you came
wasn't sure

if you'd come
she told him
your brother said

you'd be here
Benedict
informed her

it's quiet
by the trees
and maybe

we can go
in the wood
if no one

is looking
Yiska said
Benedict

looked behind
where she stood

at the small
area
called the wood

must look out
for prefects
who come here

looking out
for couples
we'll look out

she replied
they looked back
at the school

playing field
all was clear
no one looked

so they went
in the wood
at least here

we can kiss
without eyes
seeing us

Yiska said
so they kissed
she with arms

round his neck
and his arms
round her waist

lips to lips
her fingers
soft stroking

his right ear
his fingers
soft touching

her behind
then her thigh
it was their

longest kiss
on the lips
neither breathed

(or so seemed)
then parted
and stood back

and studied
each other
she took in

hazel eyes
quiff of hair
Elvis smile

he took in
her small *******
her fine curves

of body
the longest
that we've kissed

Yiska said
two prefects
he whispered

and they hid
in bushes
in the wood

silently
as two male
prefects walked

past them both
hiding there
once they'd gone

they crept out
of the wood
by the top

near the fence
that was close
Yiska said

Benedict
smiled and said
yes it was

lips to lips
recalling
his fingers

soft touching
her behind
and her thigh

releasing
a warming
and deep sigh.