Eyes wide at 1 am
thinking about tomorrow
if it shall come and will it be like yesterday.

I turn away.

For the stale breath thought of future
congealed and anxious heart beats
drumming in syncopated rhythms
panic stricken
eyes closed
watch me
fade like mist
or shine like stars
the strange horizons
wait for me
to feel anything,
to stop count the hours  
and rest in the fact

its a new day..

just go away.
i'm only doing my job and you know that.
these pills that you make me take clean me out of everything that you are convinced is wrong with me
i am not a ******* garbage can.
you can't just rid me of my insides every time you see something you don't like.
if anything, you are the cause of this newly formed rot on my exterior.