He's thinking about
His book.
And how he's going to write her into it.
She's a shelf that doesn't hold anything
But a few memories here and there
And some day dreams.
Her eyes sting
And her voice just sort of floats above everything else.
Like a sheet of clouds on a hot July morning.
There's really no place to acknowledge a power so fierce
Using just the ink from a couple of pens.
But he's going to try to capture the way her lungs give out
During long drives down busy highways
And her dark glasses always seem to be locked forward.
Her toes curl in her flip-flops
And she never opens her mouth too wide.
How can words describe someone
That only the pounding of a heart can imagine?

"I'm not one to make a habit
out of addictive substances.
But I had to make an exception
the day you gave me your heart."

Don't ask me what I see in him because
I do not know the answer to that question,
It's the way he says my name ,
the way he brings out every vowel and consonant.
It is the huskiness in his voice,
the melody in his tone.
It may be the way he smiles,
how his lips curve when he opens his mouth,
how his lips feel when they press against mine.
No, It's his compelling eyes,
they seem to get me to do anything he pleases
like, going down on my knees and...
Yeah, it's his hands,
the feeling I get when they brush against my skin.
it is his arms.
The way he holds me tight
when I'm feeling down or cold.
it is probably his scent
the way I can smell him from a distance
and then get all jumpy inside.
It is how he makes me come,
over on Friday nights and we watch movies
even though he knows how much I hate movies.
It is because he asks me how I'm doing
and actually cares.
It is the way he tickles me
and it actually does not hurt.
It is actually because he makes me feel alive.
He makes me feel like I'm human.

You fell in love with me.

I just hope you jumped.
Not slipped.

I let it back in. I let it creep into my soul.
no I let it unbury itself from the grapple it was under.
I let it walk out of the shadows and bowed down to it.
it referred to me as "autumn" and I couldn't respond, because the girl that was once here, was cut up into little pieces, and forgotten but myself.
I let her rot away, under the skeptical of other's all while she had that smile upon her face.
and now, here we are in the same body.
no place for her dearest to go.
HAHAHA she is trembling, afraid of herself,
and ****. have I ever been more proud, my greatest work of all?
sitting here, begging for me to leave.
honey, sweet pea, **** yourself.
because I am here and now and you aren't getting rid of me.
you should have done that 3 years ago.
you should have listened to the whispers.
instead of slowly fading away.

We sat together, but not like
Ever before.
Our Lady Peace on repeat.
I'd written a post for Facebook
About us being over.
Thanking.
Stating that we'd agreed
(Half a truth)
To end it.

I'd helped her write one too,
And counting down from three,
We posted.
Changed our statuses from In a
Relationship to blank.
Then stood up and
Thanked into each other's
Last embrace.

Flag up as we went down.
No loud voices,
Only this mutual sorrow
And chocked sighs.
It was done.

Something inside us both looked
Up and asked
What the Hell just happened?  
I heard angels moan no...
I felt Earth shiver
At our death.

She'd asked her friend later
If ending it in such grace was
A common thing.
"Girl, you just ended your first
Adult relationship."

And she did. With class.
Tears of gratitude
For years of passion and
Friendship, and the music.

*We are, we are all innocent.
We are all innocent.
We are.
We are.