Trigger warning: eating disorders


Eating aches,
starving aches.
Still the cycle
never breaks.

Sitting in my room,
deciding what it should be.
Eat or starve?
Maybe the day I'm finally free?

Is it okay to eat?
Or will it feed
another binge
before another day starving?

Craving food
or craving skinny?
Maybe both,
Maybe none.
Maybe craving
being able to run
away from thoughts
always about food
or the body
I want to see
when I'm ****.

Chewing gum like it's dinner
Hoping I'll get thinner
Each hour stretches
Until my body matches

Sweet flavor
But the results
Will be even sweeter

When the flavor fades
The hunger stays
So I give in
Run to the bathroom
And spit the shame
All over again

The silent rings
The mirror waits
But I can't look
I said I'd stop
Just one last time
And another last time
And another