My friends asked me to describe you.
I failed to say a word.
All my thoughts of you were rushing in my head like a blur.
No matter how hard I try, the question remained floating there.
I was silent and with one glance, they understood.
The smile on my lips was the answer.

For all the things I've done
She was probably the one I hurt most
With words like daggers
And still I stagger from what I did

I'll internalize this shame
Metabolize in vain
You see my brain won't let me see another day
Without remembering
And all I do is pray you're happy

If you're still there,
Watching me from afar
You watched as I danced with my devils again.
You saw how I have finally
Let them win

if you could see scents
The most beautiful smell would be rain on the asphalt after the first rain in a while
nature always has a way of showing us
that even after long and beautiful days of sunshine
The sky still sheds a tear
there is true beauty in the sky and the way it reflects on the way we feel
some are encouraged by the sun
but others prefer the rain
those who prefer the rain understand that darkness comes within the better days and cannot be avoided
but you can still be the light of the dark; the light shining through the clouds

When we first said hello
It was unforgettable
It was awkward
It was real and magical

I looked at you
You stared back
We moved closer
And shakily uttered the first words
The first beguiling words of our relationship
Then we walked away
I looked back and waved
You were already staring

                                                                                    When we last bid farewell
                                                                                     It was unforgettable
                                                                                     It was awkward
                                                                                     It was real and detrimental

                                                                                     I was looking for you
                                                                                     You gazed at me
                                                                                     We moved closer
                                                                                     And shakily uttered the last words
                                                                                     The last agonizing words of our relationship
                                                                                     I looked back and hoped
                                                                                              
                                                                                                                                 ...But you didn't

Trapped inside my body
prisoner of my mind
tired of relying on healing
on someone else's time
Truth is I can't breathe without love
So I will hold my breath
and the next time someone looks for me
I'll just play dead
but if they're wise they'll see me
see that light underneath my skin
they'll love themselves to my door
force me to let them in
I'll already be packed up
and prepared for whatever
when they decide to leave
we'll vacate this place together
thats why I never hang a picture
never set the time on my clocks
the arrival is all I want to remember
when time stops
I want out of this place
of pain, disappointment and hurt
I know my home is no longer here on this earth
Orphan to reality
foster child of its thoughts
doing never what I'm told
refusing to learn what I've been taught
I will keep to the course
Remain a spirit thats free
For I am, from the Great I am
& all I can be is me

I can't do this crap anymore! Looking at you smile at her after leaving me makes me sick to my stomach... This isn't fair.. I open up to you then you leave me alone. But you can talk and text her every ******* day of your life. Is it wrong that I'm just on the edge of making your life a living hell? Maybe but I hope she takes your heart and hurt you so much you don't what to do.. Until then I shall of this feeling of sadness I can't get rid of.. Mixed with anger at myself.. I shouldn't have been myself.. I should have been the girl of his dreams instead of being this crazy person.. He's happy while I'm drowning faster and faster in these ******* feelings that I hate... I hate loving him. I hate it so much. I shouldn't have ever say yes to you.. I knew you were going to do this to me but instead of being smart I was stupid believing in you.. So just get hurt already..

you came to me broken
without purpose or a hand to hold

you left me after losing that emptiness ;
fufilled from taking everything out of me and using it to fill your own brokenness.
now I'm left with nothing but a ghost of you and pain that overwhelms me