Are you aware
of the music you make, Cricket?
Can the grass be ticklish to your toes?
Tickled like trapped foes.

Toads and toad bumps.
Frogs salted on salted Slugs.
Creamer for the chocolate night,
Are you alive?

Sentimental over fingerprints,
my wings wandered
three centuries ago.
Where they went nobody knows.

Three lights captured in my eye:
one is the bedroom
one is the trumpet
one is the theatre

Hip bones have red suns.
Flowers crawl on skyscrapers.
Barns and bugs with spotted bellies.

Cracked a mirror on my foot,
wish it stayed the evening
and for supper.

Could have gone home
but instead, harvested Winter
in Mexico.

I fell like I’m being
Spied on or stalked
Maybe I’m being laughed at
Or mocked.
I feel like someone’s
Playing with my mind
It’s like fear and excitement
Both combined.
Suddenly afraid:
Paranoid
I felt like I was in the middle
Of a deep dark void.
Constantly searching
For the unknown force
And still unable
To find the source.
Nerves are shattered
Imagination runs wild;
Jumping to conclusions
Like a little child.
For a logical explanation
I’m racking my brain.
I feel like I’m dreaming
Or going insane.

The ink smothers papers in unforgiving battles of writers.

Where fame outweighs the need for imagery, the structures aimed to be masterpieces, broken into master pieces.

The imagery lost with the message as words wonder about in disorganized sequences.

The meaning becomes opaque, as perspiration drowns the paper,panicing impatiently your words are flooded in pools of poems, so they fade and drift away, without any views or likes only dismay is displayed.

I've fallen
Like dead leaves in autumn
A fallen Angel
Who never had wings
A fallen bird
Who never could sing
A fallen plane
With no survivors
A fallen star
Full of fire
I need to get up
And fly again
High above the clouds
Until the end

She's such a visionary,
she pictures art where peasants revel...
had a near death experience, said she even saw hell...
She sees potential in me, despite the times that i fell..
she convinced me to keep throwing pennies in wells..
not because she believes in myths and superstitions...
but because she sees homeless people dig in after all the wishin..
So on a good day, i throw in a few quarters, she sees i care.
But im no hero i just want Ms. Adeline to be aware..

Everything she sees, and envisions she blesses. & Everyone agrees...
So i tell her.
Never take your lovely eyes off the world, please.

She promised me she wouldn't, ever since she saw God.


What makes her see goodness?, what makes her so kind?.....
if only the world knew, Ms. Adeline was born blind.




-afj

when the fear goes away
it only runs and hides
waiting for the day
to take more manic rides

when the fear comes around
it puts me in the dirt
it really gets me down
it really makes me hurt

when the fear goes away
it always sits and waits
wanting me to stay
in those grey panic states

when the fear comes around
it wraps me in a rope
it only wants me bound
it wants to take my hope

when the fear goes away
it is only a trick
waiting in the grey
to hit me like a brick

when the fear comes around
it grabs me by the throat
it holds me on the ground
it wants to make me choke

Their words punching me..
like blows to my face.
All these hurtful things , I wish I could erase..
They pull out all the shots
without even a care..
By this time my eyes and mind are blank..
I am no longer aware...
Do they think I'm stupid,  that I don't already know..
that everyone would be better ..if I was 10 feet below..
This is not a pity party ..just a well known fact..
I can tell by the way they look at me , what they say..how they act..
It's a good thing I'm a coward, and can't see my thoughts through.
I look at my 2 babies,  and know only one thing to be true.
They love me..although god only knows why!!  But this...and only this keep me going
makes me want to try ...
so tonight as I write this, with tears pouring down my face ..
I pray that GOD  will look down ..
and save me with his grace...

Moving forward, is pure determination
Letting go of years of baggage
shedding layers of skin, that has hardened
Letting go of words of rejection, thrown your way

Rising up out of the ashes of guilt, depression,
self-doubt
Giving of yourself; yet, trying to hold on
Self-therapy is hard
It's a long process, with healing abilities

Confidence is not easily attainable
when you get it - work hard to keep it
let no one, hijack your inner-self

Move forward and be proud
Selfish people will try to break you down
rob you of your self-worth

They are jealous, not wanting you to succeed
so much potential in them, yet,
they are too lazy to try or be led to greatness

Open your eyes; use your head
don't listen to your heart,
but that sixth sense that whispers in your ear ...

Move forward and DARE !