what if there is no backdrop
i mean it could all be the central story, right?
i've called weaker plotlines boring and stronger ones interesting
and now when i see the story stretched out
not only over the course of my life
but through the tapered and weaving lives
of circles and slopes
of color and dreary bland borders

i see

i am compelled

it fills me

i was an artist
you were perfect
now I'm a worker
and you're confused
and the mess is better than any straight line ever drawn

we write and dance,
we share so selfishly,
like everything is ours to give

His speech is rough,
his work is smooth.
Wait.
Don’t make him talk.

His tools can maim
or make an angel.
He has wrinkles like wood grain,
memories like wood scraps.
Wait, and he’ll carve one.

The stories come
gnarled, with knotholes.
Listen.  
He chuckles like a chisel
working old walnut.

i need to sleep this sadness away
like a bad drug that i can't escape when i'm awake
hoping that the effects will wear off and i can forget
but i can never forget

I should have known better than to believe that I had a chance of him ever loving me

The only thing that he ever did was break me

And it was only at the sight of their hands intertwined in the loving embrace that I once dreamed

Of him and me

Now those memories of him smiling is all just heart breaking

And the sound of his voice is all but breathtaking

As these sobs of horror grow stronger in my lungs that grow smaller and smaller

Because of him and me

My heart was tore well before he came to me

Now its just shattered dust of a once beautiful dream

Of him and me

And it seems as if these images of fantasy that grew in my head all just seem so silly to me

Now that there is

And was

No chance of we

I had hoped you were the one to fix

To save

To build

Me into the women I fought so hard to be

That I believed I could reach

Now I know better then to get too high of an expectation of me

And my heart no longer feels as whole as it once did

And this is all because of the fantasy I drew

Of him and me

Even if it's been a while
You haven't been in contact
Nor did you try to reconcile

But I just wanted to let you know
That it still hurts
& I miss you a lot !

I can hear you laugh
Even if you are now miles afar
I can feel your touch
Even if you are now nowhere near

But it's all because
I get caught in my own thoughts
That it still hurts
& I miss you  a lot !

I know its been so long
You might have forgot & moved on
Even I tried to do the same
Yet I guess it was not written in my fate

But here I am, still having hope
Waiting for a miracle to get back you close
That it still hurts
& I miss you a lot !