i believed
in breathing
until i realized
every breath
i take
brings me
closer
to death

Words
break people.

And

Here I am,
using them to
fix
myself.

to love a poet, kiss him when he bleeds, kiss him deep,
make love to him when he is dead, so passionate that he shall chose to rise,
and then he becomes your dog, and you his home.
that's more than that can be asked and that you'd know

Thank darkness
Because it shows you light.

Thank sadness
Because it shows you mirth.

Thank sickness
Because it shows you health.

Thank death
Because it shows you life.

Guard your heart
Be careful who you love
We walk into infatuation like it is something playful and lovely
And at first it really is
But be careful on the second step
You will trust their hands
Fingers playing with one another as if the sweat between them will for some sort of prayer
For every finger that we let loosen, another knuckle grows back crooked
Do not hold his hand for too long
When water starts to gather in your palms, let go
Wipe them on your jeans, put your hands in your pockets
Be careful on the third step
They will show you how to swim and then throw you in the deep end
You will have no warning, nothing to catch you but the pool floor
They will smile at you from the top
Do not hold your breath
Let the air clear from your lungs
Vacancy was always something you were accustomed to
Sink to the bottom, memorize the feeling, the texture of the ground
When your lungs start to fill with water, swim to the top
Your hear will race but fall at the same time when you see him with someone else, do not let it take you
Do not let it take you
Guard your heart for the next time

and i was
helping him
breathe
while you
were attempting
to drown
him

Do not confuse hands for a safety net
You will trust that the fun is worth the fall
Will trust that the holes are small enough to still catch you
Will trust that you won't slip right through them
Will trust that it is a sturdy landing to sink into
Will trust that they love you just as much as you love them
But despite everything that will decieve you
Despite the amount of confidence you have in someone who looks so sweet do not mistake the first bite for the bitter aftertaste that follows
Do not confuse hands for a safety net
Because they are not
They are only hands

do you always find it this hard to love yourself?