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 Nov 2013 Spelz
Daniel Kenneth
A thousand moments we took for granted
In the blink of an eye a year flies past
With a yawn spanning decades until suddenly
You wake up alone, not sure why
The diaspora college brings upon us is tragic
Shattered ties and broken hearts litter the land
Forced out into a world lacking compassion
We become adults far too soon
Wandering our way through the desert
In search of life, and love
and happiness
Hoping to find meaning
Desperate for a reason to keep going
Tired and hungry, lost and alone
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Mike Hauser
My mind so often wanders

As minds so often do

Between time and space and reality

On the edge of hidden truth

Catching a ride on the spinning wheel

Dark tunnels passing through

The light of day shines the way

Of a past and present shared by few

The heights from which my mind leaps

The depths that I free fall

Teetering along the open seam

As my mind wanders through it all
When you look for it,
it evades detection.
When you listen for it,
it remains silent.
When you think about it,
it puzzles you.
When you stop pursuing it,
it stops fleeing.
When you sit with it,
as if for tea, on neutral ground,
it sits with you.
As if as friends, on neutral ground.
If you stop demanding of it
it reveals itself to you
and then with any luck
you shall see it, hear it,
exist through it, and just be it.

Once you can be it,
you see how everything is it.
Always was. Always will be.
Inseparable, yet scattered.
One, yet many. Me, yet you.
My pencil and my paper.
My reality, yet yours. Yet hers
and his and theirs and ours.
All at once, yet forever.
Ceasing when we die, yet continuing.
Changing each instant, yet forever the same.

Then you see the suicide in hostility.
The reflective nature of sabotage.
The reciprocation of respect.
The beauty and power of love
in all it's ambiguity. For all, yet for one.
An old poem of mine,
figured I should revive it.
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Emma
I'm losing
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Emma
Everyone I've only been home for about 4 weeks and already I feel myself failing.
I am trying everyday, I try and I try. But I feel my will slowly fading
It's different  being back here where I have no support meetings and daily check ups
It's different, and I ******* hate this all of it
I want to give up but I know, I know I just can't
Not for anyone else, but for myself.

I miss me.
I miss Emma, and I'm scared that she'll never come back. That she'll never be the same

Today I ate a slice of pizza, some granola, and filled up on water. Even then I wanted to *****. I wanted to let it all go, the pain, the suffering, the fear.
I don't want to be so negative but it's a ******* disease, bulimia is one hell of a sickness. One that I might just rot away in

*I want to be held and loved. I want to be happy and free. I want my life back everyone
rant
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Matt Morgan
I could call you the queen of hearts but what would that mean?
Does being queen of hearts mean all men fall for you? Maybe
Honored I know you sweet lady who I came to admire years ago
and know you to be brilliant and a lovely person inside and out.
You came into my life out of the blue like a beautiful storm
bowling me over(loved it) and me not knowing what hit me.
So glad we met and hope to make it for keeps or what you want
even if it continues to be a deep, honest and caring friendship.
Betty Ponder you are a lovely, one of a kind and special lady.
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Matt Morgan
You left me standing alone at the airport ring in hand.
I was going to ask you to marry me but didn't ask.
Mainly because you were excited about leaving
Could not bear seeing you conflicted to stay.
You boarded the plane sadly I got in my car.
Driving to the bay I knew what I had to do.
I was angry and sad but knew what had to be done.
I threw that ring in the dark waters of the bay.
This special lady is worth zillions times more than that ring.
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Mike Hauser
You may want what you ain't got
You may think it's what you need
But here's a little secret
The rich go out like you and me

And it ain't always pretty
When you drop right where you are
Be it in the lap of luxury
Or the ditch of a poor mans world

Cause when death comes a-knocking
He don't give a lick of what you own
Your possessions don't mean nothing
When what he wants is your hardened soul

You have had your fun and games my friend
Now it's Mr. Sickle's time to ride
You can try and shift the blame  on them
As he grabs a-hold your hide

Squeezing tight your beating heart
Till there ain't no juices left
Closes the betting window
On what was your last bet
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Tracie Bulkley
There's this blank page in front of me
And I'm supposed to fill it up with words
Thing is, the emptiness of the page doesn't inspire me
It frightens and intimidates me
*******, blank page,
Fill yourself up with angry words
And god-awful sentiments
I don't have time
I got too much of too little inside my gut
To fill you up like an empty ****
Just like me, yeah
Ain't you just like me
Another empty **** on a blank page
Having to apologize and cry your eyes out
For the one and only person who you showed yourself to
One and only who touched you
And held your naked soul against his
The only one who dared to fill you
Like I fill you now
That ******* who had the gall
Yours loved and left you
But I was the leaver
But that ******* had the nerve
To try and ******* me as I left
And I knew I KNEW
Knew it wasn't right
Knew you couldn't be the one to hold me all night
With all of your anger
Your lack of sympathy and empathy
And human compassion
You were sweet just for me
But you'd watch the world burn
Just to satisfy your moral pride
And self-righteous concern
So go on and wonder why I left you
And I'll try to change myself
Yeah, just a couple of *****
Making love on blank pages
There's somebody here worth changing my life for
Worth the infamy and destruction of telling
Telling the world about the **** on blank pages
But words are thick
Melted glass that stumbles and slips and tumbles
Crumbling all over the ground
It echoes the sound of my own voice
Accusing myself for making my own choice
For choosing the wrong
The bitter for sweet
But who are these people to tell me to beat it
Why should you decide my worthiness
Or the sincerity of my penance
****** why do YOU get to send me away
When I've already got Hell to pay
Just to the ******* who I left in Hell
And the angel who's trying so hard to save me from myself
******* bishop, cardinal, preacher, God and law
You're all just a bunch of blank pages
Empty ***** of all ages.
Just let me live
Let me die
On the back of this blank page
Let no one turn over
And no one will be shamed.
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Natasha
Cancer
 Nov 2013 Spelz
Natasha
Speechless cannot hold
The emotion
I feel essential to express

                                                   My


                   Sensitive



                                                 Eccentric



                      &




                                        Endeared


Cancer man.

                                    You
                              Cannot
                            Even
                        Fathom
                      The
                    Restraint
                  It
                Takes
              To
            Stay
          Speechless
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