Call me crazy but you were always a joker
Keen at making xyz your punchline
You seem to stretch the truth like it’s your safety net
Assume we all won’t see you true intent
And most don’t (pause)
But only because most aren’t looking
You can’t differentiate between to humor-ize and to lie
You’ve truly painted yourself quite the thin line
If any come to think of it
Actually you tried to hide between the lines
Oh so swaddle in what you can say without saying it
Scribbled in your fantasies as non-fiction
But I'm not buying
Your denying
Xyz delusional
You're still trying it
People aren’t games you can just keep supplying
And throw away when they stop complying
I understand there may be no use in trying to tell you this at all
However please remember these are not games
These are people
And you can press restart on a ps4 but not person

Slippery tiles and wet rocks I walk on
Prancing on pins and needles
Dancing with Deja vu
It was a phenomenon of the brain science couldn’t understand
Triggered by senses
Would cause the gears of everything to stop turning

to  live your life from the drivers seat
to be buckled in with bitterness and your own defeat

I’ve spent my life living on a cliff
Planted on the edge
In the On the verge of
In the Nearly finished
In the Tip of the tongue
In the So close
In the Not quite
The thrill very much an enchantress
I stand entranced
In the Almost there

I’ve spent my life living on a cliff
Looking down and seeing blue
Catching crumbles of dust blow under feet
But I keep my eyes fixed on blue
Scouring  and searching for my soul in the sea  
Waiting to be submerged by own psyche
I’ve spent my life living on a cliff
Please Forgive me for enchantress will never prevail
My fears vigor will always triumph over theirs
I’ve accidentally turned my house into a cage
and with it the sea has become the cuffs that bind me to the tide.
I’ve spent my life living on a cliff
My eyes pan up cause I’m sick of simply staring at the sea
My Eyes espied sky now
But it’s no use
Blue is a constant reminder of what could have been
I’ve spent my life living on a cliff
But house and home are not synonymous
So I suppose I’ll just  close my eyes and jump

I used to choose my words with ease
Picking and choosing the placement
Aligning the thought’s with the paper
perhaps try to think back to the pen tap?
Now it’s  the click of a keyboard
I know im off track
Im still moving backwards somehow
I’ll try to reroute

These letters used to glide out my mind
Now they stay stitched over and over
Mind glitched trying to rewire the mind of professionally trained liar

Lies spoken not with malicious intent but rather in my own self defense
Also insecurity of my own life path and journey
For fear of my rejection i used  these lies for protection
For my mind is far to flexible for ones own good

My malleable mind had molded like clay
Then hardened once it saw the light of day
And basked in the sunlight
So much so it forgot how to admire  nippy nights

Blending  truths of characters played and my own
Twisting truths though i hate to admit id done that alone
Thought i wasn’t always a truth teller
I strive now to do better

I’ve learned flexibility is useless without stability
Clay compact so bound it broke
Which is fine
Just remember my previous line
Flexibility is useless without stability

Blending, bending  and finally mending
A mind shattered and rebuilt after ending
New beginnings