Gopi star maidens roam
across an ever widening
void
searching for their darling Giridhari

"Krishna why have You abandoned us?"

"Your foot prints have gone cold and the music
of Your ankle bells are deathly silent"

"The universe is so colossal, baffling,
unfathomable, bewildering and
incomprehensible"

"Where are You?"

"We beg only for Your celestial embrace"

The Lord opens His ginormous, glittering,
galactic blue mouth and laughs
misty worlds evaporate and reappear

Elysian fields, sweet perfumed scents
of Paradise
sweep across our Souls
Beloved Krishna with the cashmere eyes
that old snake charmer
plays His golden flute
Radha seated eternally by His side

The empty jhoola swings

Gunga peas calypso
Madly
in my cooking ***
gradually I pour canned coconut milk
into the swirling flavors
of cilantro, garlic and onions


Staring into the rich brown
stew
I can see my Mother grating
coconut meat and hand squeezing
the milk like teats from a cow
(Too much work for me)
creating a traditional coconut rice and peas
dish


She was raised on a farm in St. Elizabeth,
Jamaica
early hours, rugged, hard labor were natural
for the family which included nine siblings
Pauline was a kind big hearted Soul
with ample soft *****
perfect for children
to lay their heads upon
and skin that always seemed
to smell of curry


Burnt sienna Indian complexion
wavy black river hair
and colorful patois accent
painted a portrait
cavorting over the dandy, rolling
goat hooved hills of
Jamaican village peasantry


The Moravian church of England formed
beliefs woven inextricably through
the fabric of her simplistic
innocent existence
our Mom instilled a love of
God in us that was pure and hearty

"Sonya stop your daydreaming"
my Mother's clarion voice interrupts
my avid reverie

"Bumba!" I cry aloud
"I haven't had bammy in eons"

Quickly my fingers Google
Another tasty native recipe

chock full of memories
and cassava root

how sacred are the raindrops
passage to another world

if I were a raindrop
luminous crystals
window wash the acid sky
and hot sultry earth
**** and span

Drumming down
a fresh start
blessed beginning
for all moccasins to tread
the path of the heart

Sacrificial waters
life giving monsoons
suckle newborn sprouts
feed snow capped
mountain rivers, raging bull
oceans
and the tiny sea inside
a mother’s womb

If I were a raindrop
a merciful tear falling from
God’s eye

the gold ring and chain piercing my
nostril is tied to Your starry reins
I stand quite diaphanous and transparent
in the shivering frost-bitten scrutiny
as inanimate and suspended
as the fossilized rocks
and vacant shells entombed beneath
my bare feet
this loneliness that climbs, scrambles
mindless ivy,
up and down forlorn ivory towers
lost lighthouses clinging to abandoned
coastlines where the sea foams at the mouth
and maya lurks like rodents and beachcombers
littering with her perishable bag of goodies
where is my conch?
my heart hurts
am I too deaf ...too far gone...
to hear Your mighty blast?

Om Sai Ram Dear Family

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Sai Blessings,

Sonya Ki Tomlinson

I love my darling little
ragdoll kitty Rama
a beautiful flame point color
He reminds me of sunrise
orange auburn rays
pouncing across
pearl white early morning skies

Following me into the bedroom
he sprawls across the desk and
under my computer
tenderly I scratch his furry head
we rub cold eskimo noses and I can’t help
noticing how his breath is so very much
like mine

Sweet air rushing in
like the tide and gently ebbing
listening closely to his breath
makes me wonder
how on earth
can we slaughter
and eat anything that
has breath like us

Tears fall from Rama’s eyes
tears for our brother animals
tears for Rama

Serenity of the Buddha fountain
graces our garden
His wise presence flows
steadily over thorns, thistle
and rocks that jut across the pathway
creating obstacles in our lives

There was turmoil, misery,
calamity in His generation
just like today
The Ravanas of our time
prowl earth’s gardens
seeking to abduct and ravage
goodness, love, purity, truth

Illustrious Gautama gained the perfect
peace that passeth understanding
by treading the middle path and realizing
that pushing the envelope
indulging in all types of extreme behavior
sabotages our mental, emotional and physical
well being

He declared to His disciples as they
wandered through the world that
desire is the cause of all suffering
and like the Master Jesus encouraged them
“to be in the world not of it”
This He knew could be actualized by
the right use of the senses,
loving, compassionate service to mankind
and having a still, tranquil mind
through the process of
meditation

Twilight dusk blankets the garden
The Buddha twinkling under a
panorama of evening stars
a crystal ball spinning luminously
in his hands
illumines our beaten path
from His radiant pedestal,
beneath the Bodhi tree
“The Sun of Enlightenment Shines”

Florida's Autumn sunset paints the horizon
with colors almost as spectacular
if not equal to the Fall hues
of a New York landscape:

Royal foliage draped in rich amber,
yellow ochre, jeweled garnet,
rust, and calico maple orange
form an imperial procession
down 5th avenue across
Central Park and through the
metropolitan streets
eventually spreading into the
rustic countryside
of upstate New York

Around this time of year
when gold and cranberry mums
crown the local southern markets
and gardens
my heart turns northward to my
birthplace:

Flamboyant deciduous trees
shed their brilliant leaves
creating a palette of color that
would rival an artist's canvas

I can feel the hint of winter and Christmas
in the brusque breeze roughly brushing
my face crimson

Spicy scents of cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger
from Mom's fresh baked apple pie
brings tears to my eyes
a little black girl in pigtails and pink frock
licking her fingers and the plate clean

The lucky red Chinese lanterns filled the restaurant atmosphere
with a happy glow. David and I had just concluded
our meal and set about opening our fortune cookies.
David’s read: “Some extra bucks are floating your way”
“I like that!“ he exclaimed, his face lighting up like the
lucky lanterns swaying from the ceiling.

I opened mine: “From the heart you draw true happiness.”
“I like that even better,” quipped David. I agreed contemplating
on how true wealth is not measured by the amount of
green paper or gold bullion we can cram into our pockets
but by the nature and vast reservoir of love stored
up in our hearts. For it is love that brings the bliss of
self knowledge and makes clear our purpose and path of service.

Of course, the green stuff is necessary for a balanced,
optimum life but it should not become the be all
or end all of our lives.

Sathya Sai Baba says: “Wealth does not accompany one
when he leaves the world. Wealth is necessary only for
meeting one’s essential needs.Too much wealth is
an embarrassment like an over-sized shoe.
Too little of it is likely to be painful like a tight-fitting shoe.
So, it is desirable to have only that amount of wealth
that is adequate for one’s basic needs. You should
try to promote the wealth of good conduct, strive to earn
the eternal wealth of the wisdom of the Spirit.
Happiness is union with God."
Lots of Prema,
sonya ki

I think I will read a sacred book
tonight
reminisce on His glories
recount the incredible leelas
of the Lord
then I will sweeten my heart
with songs to my beloved
anything that will bring You
closer
quiet the baying hounds
comfort the lost souls
light a candle in the darkest
hours before the
golden dawn

Airborne
the light holds us aloft
like starry lights
radiant with breath
in goodness we rise
fragile wings
we are loved
cherished
remembered
every 17 seconds a prayer
gently whispered
can save…
is a lifeline
thrown deep into the
abyss

I found the perfect fountain to
to feng shui our fall garden:


A bronze Buddha seated high on a lotus.
Waterfalls cascade


I wondered what flowers to plant
as an offering and came across
this lovely inscription:


"Blooming azaleas
 in a hollow on a cliff.

A Buddha stands."

Tonight I drink the ruby wine
of God’s sublime name
my rosewood mala dangling
alluringly over my fingers
each bead calling Him
each sip of His precious
name a holy grail
a divine elixir
brewed in Heaven’s
vineyard


Drunk on a love
that the world can never
understand
I sing His name
and dance through the
moonlit streets  
with Ramakrishna, Mira Bai
and all the crazy
God intoxicated Saints

Sometimes I wish I could
see into the future
gaze Like Nostradamus into
a pool of flaming water
Tomorrow disrobing
disclosing all her hidden secrets
how seductive it would be
to lift the fluttering veils
between worlds seen and unseen
read the destiny of uncharted stars
soft multi-colored gaslights glimmering
across the vaporous ethers
but then I ponder
in my heart
to what avail would all
this be if I don’t know


who I am


the vast person
enthroned within
who answers to a thousand names
and no name
The One in which
the sun, moon
planets, whirling galaxies,
universes
humanity and all
that exists animate
and inanimate
moves, breathes and
has its being

Yes! Call me a crazy fanatic,
a God intoxicated fool!
stark raving madly
in love with beautiful You

Obsessed,
I stalk Your every invisible move
Breathless, I run through
fog and mist that clouds
Your celestial, elusive Presence
chanting Your holy name
contemplating the glorious leelas
and remembering the power and
splendor that created all this

And Yes! I would
move heaven and hell
for a chance to
consciously, perfectly, wholly and
completely
Be with You
heart and soul forever

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when I recall how close
Your sacred lips
are to
my listening ears
and I remember that
I have only
to look up
from the swimming depths
to see Your radiant eyes plunging
headlong into my soul
the moments I spend
away from You
in any other contemplation
are fraught with failure
and discontent


Blessed Self
fan the flames
of remembrance
with Your holy
presence
the moon is so full
and white this evening
stroll with me
hand in hand
across the courtyard
as lovers steal a kiss
in the gloaming

David peered out the glass
patio door commenting on how
straight and tall the Florida pine tree
bordering our property was
except for the numerous pine needles
and cones burgeoning forth from its branches
it was truly a straight and narrow trunk

Well, I responded, pine represents purity
and immaculacy
I remember my Mom scrubbing
our house with pine-sol
schools and buildings
were also steeped in the
overwhelming scent of
pine

Native Americans believed
allowing pine needles to
brush the crown of the head
cleansed the aura of all negativity

In fact the pineal gland or third eye
of Lord Shiva
is shaped like a tiny pine cone
and harbors the ability to know
the past, present and future

Pine trees are emerald guardians
of the forest
virtuous, protective, refreshing and invigorating
rising in solitary splendor
its lofty height allows a broader view
and larger perspective of things

David and I leaned back on our sofa
the balmy wind
whistling clean and sweet through
the benevolent branches of the
noble pine

The passions of my youth
have subsided

Like rivers flowing
towards an iron karmic sea

Chastened, clarified, sublimated, channeled
into the Ocean of Nectar

I am baptized in
Your Holy Sweetness

Reborn in Your
Pure Ambrosial Love

winter has come early
solitude blankets
the frontier and hinterlands
of my soul
all the birds have flown south
taking warm breezes
with them
not to be outdone
solace of human
companionship has also fled
like long, lanky shadows
leaping across a high mountain
only the dark red eyes
of the cave
lit up by
an innermost
flame
stares
transfixed
motionless
expanding into
the empty night

the clouds are black
and heavy with your
indigo tears
sometimes I think
your kiss is just a memory
a pipe dream
lost in the thick ***** fog
cloaking this earth
where is the sunlight
and the high slopes
where lovers meet
in the pink blush
of morning
unabashed
eager to linger
forever
in each others
gaze

Radiance of Your ketheric kiss
is all i have left....
sleepless i pace through
the long snowbound polar night
listen to the wolf's forlorn howl
and a woman weeping in the
nether-lands
this abominable separation!
tracking Your crystal footprints
with my heart
Hari!
can you not hear the Soul's lament
sighing over remote, frostbitten blue
trails
that lead nowhere if You are not
present
Companion of Heaven!
when will You visit my tent again?

When my mind wanders
down lanes devoid
of love
and rabid thoughts pounce
threatening
to devour my heart
I sing Your sweet,
nectarine Name
Hari
Your name is the
lifebuoy
we can cling
to
in
the
raging
whirlpool
downward
pull
of
samsara

Your holy
Name
dances about
red, blue, pink
swirling saris
with You
my arms are
never empty
the moon is full
of silver
and the sun
pours its gold
over us
in the jhoola of
my heart
there is a permanent place
where I swing from dawn to
radiant dusk with my
Dearest Giridhari

sit with me before the dance
in my little thatch hut
on a mat of yellow reeds
together we’ll string
garlands
marigolds, jasmine,
roses
to offer at His petite, azure feet
with glossy red kisses
we’ll serenade our Sri Krishna
weave peacock feathers through His
perfumed tresses
the Yamuna river is lit up with
lotus lanterns and
vrindavan incense
we have adorned ourselves
in the finest silk saris
and red *** *** dots
we are ready with
aching, ardent hearts to
dance with the Lord
come into our eager, hopeful arms
darling Giridhari

I  pressed the exercise ball against the
gym wall slowly pushing it upward
breathing deeply I repeated to
myself
“God is present now”
“God is present now”
I walked towards the women’s locker
room  holding onto that thought intensely
a child sitting in the softly illumined alcove
turned to look at me
brief wordless sweet communion
flashed electrically between us
an angelic expression
emanated from her ivory porcelain face
as if all the cares, joys and sorrows of the world
were bundled up inside her tiny form
…God is present now…God is present now

Beloved
i have kept a strict vigil
from my lonely citadel
my eyes have fasted solely
on your celestial form
and my lips know
only
Your hallowed name
Hari
the stars and moon
appear so distant yet
they light up even my
secluded, solitary silhouette
unfettered love
glance my way
tonight

I am not a morning person
but my hubby is...

This morning at 6 am we packed up
our blue beach chairs
and headed for the ocean
in the car we listened to a CD of
Reverend Rose's Sunday sermon
she talked about judgmental thinking
how we make up stories about
other people and situations
infusing ourselves with fear and
negative emotions
this kind of perspective prevents us
from seeing the beloved in everyone

We arrived at the shore in time
to view the sun dancing across
the pink horizon, leaving a trail of
golden footprints in the playful waves.

Setting up our beach chairs
to face the gently rolling surf
David took out his book on the "Course of Miracles"
the lesson for the day was:
"God is my strength in which I place my trust"
together David and I meditated on this truth
feeling it sink into our bones

I was reminded of a heart opening exercise:
mentally I asked God to help me experience His love
I waited in the quiet cove within
slowly I could feel the flower of love
unfolding to bright interior rays
a strong whiff of jasmine
carried by lofty sea breezes
pervaded the salty air.

After our meditation
David and I raced towards the
beckoning azure vastness, diving in
we floated buoyant, blissful
Two lotus blossoms on an endless, eternal sea

We meditated on the beach a little after sunrise
dawn poured gold over the ancient pages of the
Bhagavad Gita

As David read from that sacred text
seagulls paused mid-air and sand pipers
stood transfixed
pearls spilled from his lips the
very ocean blue lips of Lord Krishna

“Realize that which pervades the universe and
is indestructible; no power can affect this unchanging,
imperishable reality”
“The body is mortal, but He who dwells in the body
is said to be immortal and immeasurable” ~ Bhagavad Gita

I too listened enrapt, eager to learn more
the Sea rushed anxiously towards us
lapping at our feet
its pounding surf resembling the mighty five horse drawn
Chariot of Sri Vasudevaya

Just then...
Krishna Janardhana blew His conch
rays of the morning sun ignite a brilliant halo
crowning His head

“This infinite joy of union with the Lord
is easily attained by those who are free from
the burden of self-will and established
within themselves.” ~Bhagavad Gita

from the limits of my white cocoon
fine spun dreams,  predilections
and myriad desires
I perceive the world
and sadly it ends at the tip of my
nose
O how I long to rip off these
wretched mummy wrappings
and not have to listen to one more
funeral dirge
or see a tear fall from a grief
stricken eye
my anguished soul flails
wings clipped, bound hand and foot
inside a corporeal coffin

while a delicate butterfly prays for the strength
and faith to live if only for a
day in the bright expansive
colors of its True Self

this King Cobra...electric eel
draped across my shoulders
and the mercury rising
there is a tunnel
I know
where we can go and
make mad love to God
lay across the starry tracks
with me
short circuit...
pull the plug on this dream

This is the third time
I've planted climbing roses

The first two failed to fulfill
my romantic fantasy of
efflorescent roses
flaunting their naughty
frilly pink bodice
and hooped skirts
draped in loops
like gingerbread scroll-work
or fleur-de-lis
gamboling, sauntering
across the white French trellis

I guess I'm really a fairy trapped
inside this 5' 8" terrestrial body
I love how the amethyst moon-flowers
with the pentagram tattooed on their
belly button petals
cast a magic spell over the garden

And the night blooming jasmine's
enchanting fragrance wakens the
dreaming gardenia and makes everybody
including our blue eyed ragdoll kitten
a wee bit tipsy

I curl up on my midnight Jhoola
topiary shadows crouch
like royal sphinxes
in the starlit courtyard
and reflecting pools of water
from summer rains
swirl open their third eyes
~portals to another world~

We have struggled through
mud, slime, feast and famine
to gain this human form

The animals swimming, crawling
hopping, pouncing, flying, galloping
inside of us

Vestiges of the past that try to
claw and growl their way toward
the surface of our consciousness
like ***** in a barrel
pulling us backwards
into a vortex of anger, hatred
territorial jealousy and vicious
emotions

This life is too precious to
waste
our angel wings ache
to soar
beyond the temporal
and petty
to heights Divine
Immortal, Deathless
and Free

I've pitched my tent close to
the cloistered stars
where the cool breath of heaven
caresses my cloud capped face
and my heart can exile
her pain in the uninhabited
sterling stillness
no footprints lead to my door
in this endless white tundra
not even an echo enters
silent black pearl
crystallized, suspended
inanimate
exhaled
but I am not lost

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when i pass away
and my earth body explodes
beneath me
like a supernova
and with it all my penchants
obsessions, desires and experiences
only one question, one truth
remains nailed to the crucible

“Have you learned to Love?”

“Have you learned to serve without
expecting anything in return?”

at the center of that heavy cross
we carry through many life times

“has the rose of pure love and oneness
blossomed?”

Swami~
The Ocean cast  garlands of pearls
at your Lotus Feet
Varuna the Sea god knelt  in awe
I stand in that vast azure temple
surrounded by a choir of waves
all singing Your divine name
while the morning sun performs arathi
the earth and all its inhabitants bow
robed in light

Incense mists rise from
the beautifully decorated altar
bowls of prasadam
bananas, apples, bright oranges
offered at Your Lotus Feet
Vedic hymns
hypnotic, chants
flood the prayer room
I gaze through the smoke and fog
my eyes tightly shut
sound asleep
feels like aeons
how I pray to awaken
at long last

The many arms of God
embrace me
a thousandfold caress
as if the sky itself
held me in its
Krishna blueness
and the burning kiss
of the sun
kindled my famished
lips
golden

Today my tears refused
to be imprisoned
while watching a film
on Gandhi's life

His unflinching, Godly resolve
moments of exhilaration and
plummeting despair

Christ-like love for Humanity
an example the world has
yet to follow

O' Gandhiji Your sacrifice
and dedication will
never be forgotten

Like Jesus, Buddha and
all the great Mahatmas
you died with the name
of God on your lips

I spread a wool blanket
over a blanket of grass
and made room for you

We gaze up at the lake of lights
shimmering above us

Is any star in the heavens
more beautiful
than the other?

Wedded to the silence
in deep aloneness
with You
my breath smiles

Swami you have given me
my heart's desire
loving husband, family, good health,
new house, car, cruises, journeys across
Your teeming, bustling globe
There is nothing you have withheld
from me
in the midst of this hologram
high flying ribbons, gifts and
ticker tape parade
You stand,
larger than life
occupying the whole of infinity
More beautiful than anything I can
imagine, dream up or wish
Overflowing Omni Presence
take me into Your Rapture
forever

Universes, galaxies, stars, oceans, dust, beings
pulsating inside of us

We are tiny replicas of the
immensity swirling around
above and below

Beloved
Your eyes house the
heavens and the starry
footprints of God lead to
your door

Lay your ear upon my chest
and listen to the sound of a
thousand hearts
laughing, crying, dying, singing
Infinitely
Evolving

Estranged paths
like the strangling, wrangling
arms of an octopus
that lead us away
from abiding bliss

Far from my Soul
I wandered
lost
bewildered
staring down blood eyed
from a hellish, jagged cliff
thoughts of suicide and self loathing
circling
the abyss beckoning

Drugs, liquor, promiscuity
prodigal acts against the soul
injected faithfully
brought little relief
a harrowing emptiness
unhappiness
gnawed within
utter darkness,
fear, miasma…*

Reflecting on my sofa, cuddling up with David
and little Rama. A sunny sense of abiding peace,
contentment and serenity suffuses the
room spreading beyond the walls of our home.

Sitting on the misty edge of my musings
I saw so many souls just like
us, struggling, lost, confused.

Tentacled shadows of the past
swim upstream, clasping me in their cold
clammy reptile embrace.

Painfully, I recall
my own desolate, unconscious
blind, search for stability, self assurance
and well being.

There was a definite, undeniable
correlation between the acts
I committed
against my Soul
and the Soul awareness
that I was now cultivating

Clear as a crystal ball
parting the curtains of tomorrow
I know
that as we make an effort to turn away
from all that is impure, unkind, deceitful
selfish and vicious
in thought, word and deed,
as we shut the door on hyper-sensuous pursuits
that lead us further into unspeakable darkness

Something amazing happens. A glimmer of light,
a spark of self awareness is struck.
Like blackened coals that we blow our
breath of life upon with all our might.
Our Soul blazes forth in all
its transcendent, eternal glory

And welcomes us home with open arms of
the cross, to a place of steadfast, everlasting
Being, Awareness and Bliss

Fairy blossoms
climb through my dreams
cascading over moonlight
and statuesque fountains
purple parachutes
pirouette across the
gloaming
in a twinkle
the laughter of evening
bells
and swirling petticoats
caper through the garden
till dawn

Bastet
crouches in
dimly lit corridors
of the Egyptian temple
Her marble black skin
shimmering pools
incandescent green orbs
lit with altar fire
Feline Goddess
of the Nile
carries a kitten
by the scruff
gently she lowers
the newborn bundle
of fluffy joy
on our doorstep
Baby Rama
He who brings
enduring bliss
Galaxies
and all the Cosmos
reflected in his
sweet eyes

tending the garden is a lot like cultivating the mind
maintaining balance, harmony and symbiosis
is essential for both flora and fauna
providing proper PH for the soil,
fertilizing and feeding each plant
with the right kind of food
mindful irrigation, going with the flow
plenty of bustling sunshine
as well as periods of deep shade and contemplation
and lets not forget those blessed weeds
only takes a good spring rain
to turn your botanical oasis into a
wild and woolly patch of snarling jungle animals
chattering monkeys swinging from
rampant running vines
tenacious elephants stomping over
shrinking african violets
hungry, growling lions stalking the marigolds
take a deep breath, get centered try not to curse them
after all, it has been said that one man's ****
is another man's flower
gently I tug the miscreant roots
and regain my composure
realizing, they too, have a place in the Cosmic
scheme of things
the brass Buddha smiling between
the hawaiian plumeria and ruffled hot pink hibiscus
winks at me
as I evenly, attentively, consciously align and establish
stepping stones on the Middle path

Hari
The Book of Life
gilded leaves flutter
purple hooded Magi winds
sweep across time
I see my name written
and his too
surely
You have bookmarked
this moment
lessons on love
giving one's heart
completely to another
egos slain
and
sacrificed for the
greater We
this is the real
gnosis
sacred sacrament