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 Oct 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
New Girl
 Oct 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
New Girl

She has a beautiful smile.
She has lovely eyes.
Her voice is melodies of gold, played as platinum records on the drums of my ears.
Her skin as soft as her heart with a touch as gentle as the love she could have if she loved herself enough, to get loved.

Her self esteem is deflated by sharp words that puncture wounds into her perfection, so she's constantly rejecting gestures of compliments because all she knows is her imperfection.

Put her in a dark room and she'd still wonder about her reflection.
If her soul could reflect her physical appeal, would she then see how beautiful she could be if she she could free herself from those who find satisfaction from stealing her beauty.

Seems like her walls are twice as high as her confidence, cause her flaws got high on insults, and no matter how many compliments she drank, she was never drunk long enough for her to forget what insults sounded like.

I mean, I've had one conversation with her. She never said much, but I heard so much more than what she could say. I could tell her eyes were curious about me, but her mind reminded her that if she got too close, I'd never be mindful of her.

According to her, my aim is at her flaws. She sees me holding a gun full of emotionally draining bullets. She thinks I plan on firing her the same way her self esteem burned her so much that she can't tell a flame from a spark, so every conversation I try and spark, she puts it out with her flame of disbelief. She fights fire with fire.

Baby, I'm just trying to extinguish your fire so you never get burned again.
 Oct 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
Love, is a feeling that can cover the distance the kilometers bring.
It can climb the mountains that separate us.
Love can swim the tides that wave goodbye.
Love can do what is impossible, just by existing in two hearts that don't mind being in two different places with two of the same people who wish only two things.
They wished that the distance would somehow disappear, and they wished that they'd be inseparable by any measure of time, or any distance on earth.

Some days, I wish we could govern the things that break us apart with space, so I'd have control over seeing you, which would be always, cause there's no way that I could go a day without seeing your face, and I choose not waste time we can never recycle because time is an endless cycle of the now, because the later could be a broken promise from your mind.

I don't want time to stand still when I'm with you, I want all the emotions that tickle the butterflies in our tummies to pause, while we play out the uncontrollable lust for perfection, burying the thought of our imperfection in time, so it may somehow die like the broken promise of our lives being forever.

Distance should be two hearts closer than ever, loving from two different sides of the world without a doubt that either one has started loving less, even when the feeling becomes a little less, with the communication becoming a little, and our time on earth decreasing like it was meant to be less.

Love, is a emotional attachment to two spirited souls, that unfold the many wonders of souls. Love is the perfection to this imperfection of time.

Time and distance is why love is so persistent.
You're the reason I'm so persistent.
You're the reason I can't force this resistance to heed so we can take a step back and breath the same air, while we touch our hearts with love, love... Love...
 Oct 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
 Oct 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
I'm black but I sound white.
I have black hairs, and some of them are white.
I have spaces in between my teeth, almost like my tongue is caged up cause God gave me two filters so I only give out compliments, and I fail to express my hurts, and that's what hurts the most.
I have a weak body, with a weak heart.
A heart operated on because it was incomplete, and after a successful operation, my heart is still incomplete.
It has holes in the wrong places, and all these holes are a portal to my pain.
My heart used to pump blood, but now it pumps memories of you and I.
Sometimes I get splitting headaches thinking about you. I mean, we're not together and you're still a pain.
I took an oath to never hit a girl, but with pain you've inflicted.
I swear if you even breath in my direction, that will be the last thing you do because the last time you looked in my direction, your pretty eyes and your sweet voice took my heart and ripped it into pieces that I'm still looking for.
I left a part of me with you. It was my happiness, and despite all this pain, I still wanna find my happiness in the same place I lost.
I'm sure I'll find my sanity there too.
You're good at stealing things that make me happy, but you're even better at giving me what breaks my heart.
You're a better breaker, than a lover.
You're a stronger monster, when you're smiling.
We need to grow up?
I need to step back so you can grow up.
**** my ethnicity?
**** your existence.

Long Live Those Who Deserve it. And in saying that, this would be a perfect eulogy for your funeral.
 Oct 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
We love what we think we do.
We say what we shouldn't.
We do what's never been done, and we sit with the same outcome.
We're a point less than the actual point.
We're a lot of nothing, cause we loved something that wasn't us.
Our time is less from out last timeless moment.
Every moment apart calls for a new start.
On a board we're the dart that misses the the bulls eye, but we never miss a chance to make our eyes cry.
We're like an ocean with no tide, never moving but always waving good bye to each other before we even see each other.
We're Space to our lungs cause we're in a space where there isn't air, so we fight each other for our last breaths, not realizing that the only air we're fighting is the one we had.
The one before the space we entered.
Cause we centered our air in each others hearts so we'd touch hearts, like we need to and not like we have to, and we'd touch lightly cause of the importance our hearts hold, not just to each other, but to our lungs..
Cause I can't breathe when your heart is apart from mine.
So, my heart won't beat apart from yours cause your touch carries the very essence that keeps my heart going.
 Oct 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
So, we're finally apart.
The pain is so unbearable, I don't know where to start.

I have to act strong, for so long, cause I long for the day we will get along.

I wish I had a song to sing, about how I dreamed to bless your hand with a ring, and now you came like a Bee just to leave a sting.

I should be going crazy, but my emotions tend to get lazy, and maybe that just all I've been doing lately.

I want to talk to you, walk with you. I wish to see you so I can look into your lovely eyes, and probably cry, with relief and a heavy sigh.

I want to love you, unconditionally. I want to love you for who you are.
But I just can't do it again, thinking you'd appreciate it for the second time, when you left me the first time.
 Sep 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
 Sep 2015 Sona
Ntsika H
Death.. A lesson you spend your life studying for with a guarantee you're going to pass.. Pass away..

Hello, Death? It's me, one of your victims..

Death, let me address you for a moment....

Death, you speak languages that you only understand, but our minds try to console our hearts by giving motive for you... We spend days, nights making excuses for you...

One day you speak suicide.. Half way through your sentence you speak ******... ******, you corrupt a mind to do your ***** work.. Not that would be any cleaner if you did it...

Death, you hide beneath coffins, you run behind bullets and you color the suicide note with tears...

Death, I don't get you.. You don't only steal a life... But you steal our livelihoods as well.. Isn't life enough..? Why do you come back and take tears from our eyes, put memories in our minds so we never forget your act of dismissal..

Death, you're a thief and we all condone your crimes with a church service.. We send one off to a place beyond the sky.. A place far from here... But still, that never seems to be enough..

You feast on lives like it's a buffet.. You get served with a plate full of life, and you're a fool of life cause you keep taking it away from us, as if our plates aren't full of problems..

Death, you coward.. You only look us in the eyes when our time comes.. Where were you when you sent us a warning? Funny, I opened that letter and it only had half your signature on... When I looked over to show my brother the letter, there you were running behind that bullet.... As the bullet pierced his skin, you pierced his soul with your sword of damnation.. You never killed him.. You killed us... Cause that's what he was doing when you ran behind that bullet.. He was standing up for us.. For me...

Gone, never forgotten..

— The End —