Abigail Annette

Mar 2015

Natasha

No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
Gone

Gone.

The titles also a radiohead song. But it doesnt seem like a bad idea. Erase everyones memories of me and just leave. Fall back into the everlong seas of black unconcious and then hopefully to the end of time- the extraterrestrial, super inconcievable meaning of life. I believe we find it when we die. I dont even know, I dont think anyone loves me so its about that time.

#depression #illness #anxiety #hope #mental #**** #wish #invisible #bipolar #socialanxiety

Abigail Annette Mar 2015

it's getting harder

I was going about on my normal day,
and then it just hit me

Sadness not only crossed my mind,
it took over my entire body.

Nothing even happened.

There was no trigger.

But all of a sudden my body just became blue.

My mind is upset,
my heart is racing,
my body is aching,
and I just don't want to move.

I was fine a second ago,
and then I just started hurting.

I'm in pain
and it's getting harder.

I was just sitting in personal finance and just started hating myself. awesome

#depression #sadness #ugh

Mar 2015

Lara Wan

Imprints

I can still feel the trace of your arms wrapped around me
I can still feel your warmth like you’re near.
And I know it’s my fault, so please, don’t remind me
I know I’m the reason you’re not here

So I tried to play it all back again
Because it’s so much better back when we can

Dance in front of many people
Pretend they aren’t there
Or act like we don’t care
Hold hands wherever we go
And whisper to each other things nobody knows

These things are just imprints
And they’re bound to fade
They’ll crumble to ashes
Like they were never made
But these little things
Imprints they might be
They have a way
Yes they have a way to stay

I can still hear your voice and the things that you said
When we were lying on my rickety bed.
You said this time tomorrow this will be our past
And since we can’t stay here let’s just make it last

But still I try to play it all back again
Because I am much happier back when I can

Laugh at your silly jokes
While tracing odd patterns
On clouds and on smokes
Sing when you play your guitar
Or when we’re driving around town in your car

These things are just imprints
But they’re what I hold on to
They are proof to me
That once I had you
And I’m placing my faith
On these little things
To have a way
To find a way to stay

I can still hear your laugh
While secretly wondering about the life we could’ve had
I can still see your face
And I’m wishing it’s somethings that time could not erase
But now you’re nothing but an imprint
And you’re bound to fade
Like a crumbling sand castle
Like the memories we made.

#love #wishfulthinking #earlymorningthoughts

Abigail Annette Mar 2015

painting walls

I’d like to spend the rest of my life with you.

I’d lay in our bed and watch you undress.

I’ll trace your veins with my finger tips.

I want to feel your breath on my neck
and smell your cologne on my skin.

Every detail of your body will be sketched in my head.

I’ll memorize the pattern of your blinks.

And when we fall asleep at night,
I’ll dream of painting walls with you.

i wrote this a long time ago, but wow do i feel this everyday

#love #boyfriend #happy #wishfulthinking

Mar 2015

a

paper hearts

so much like the paper, it crumples
it remains untouched but has been molested
trying to close itself up, until you came and
tore open the stitches and shed the
protection
so much like the paper, it falls
leaning on the words of another to live
their inscribed marks upon its open skin
scars not marks, wounds not scars,
because the wounds have not
closed yet