I'm way too old to just die.
My capacity to accommodate
biological death is diminished.
I'll turn to dust and just blow away
in the morning breeze and wash
into gutters in the next storm.

She was my oxygen and gravity and heartbeat.
  She died and broke our universe. She loved me
  enough to bring me back from Mars. I was lost.
  She died out of our orbit and chaos made me mad.
  You rob me blind and I know but don't really care.
  Nothing matters anymore. I'm heading back to Mars.

she’s too strong,
she’s too much,
she’s too tough to love.

she’s too hard,
she’s too broken,
she’s not enough.

she’s imperfect,
she’s wild,
she’s lost in the wind.
she’s insane,
sending signs of chaos from within.
-

<|>

for some time,
in these troubled moments,
midst the uprooted formless firmament
where rawest poems come from,
and the saddest gentled, go to die,
colloquially a place, a space,
we call,
time

in these, them days of lockdown quarantine,
time has lost its preeminence,
the swagger of precision-swiss-definition
of the imposing measuring stick of
routine
is lost to that very
formless firmament

we look at each aghast,
with wild puzzlement faces,
inquiring of each other,

“what day of the week is it?”

the eavesdropping, spying voice of this device
answers,
“see the upper left corner”

which is kind of a miracle
but not nearly as amazing that

a few hours later,
or some time span of an approximate relevancy,
(we assume,)
we ask each other, once more,
in a reverie of hopelessness,
with total no-pretense of the
when,
no, worse,
the frightening pointy needlessness of
why
it matters

“dearest darling,
pray, pray,
what day of the week is it?”

let’s rush
run through field
it’s what we want to do

let’s dance
around the fire
hand in hand

let’s sing
near the sea
swelling in our hearts

let’s swim
in the ocean
floating in warmth

let’s soar
high above the clouds
to keep our heads

but in the end
if you want

I’ll sleep near you
my arms to keep
the monsters away

and maybe
I would like
the same

strong arms
to surround me
safe haven to be

face to face
your hair in your eyes
I brush it away

you steal one from me
so I take it back
the kiss

your eyes sparkle
I’m lost in the emerald hue
and I realize

I love you