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When the world looks dark,

Sometimes all you have to do

Is open your eyes.
 Sep 2016 Simona Dancila
NV
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES IN LIFE,
I HAVE WOKEN UP,
AND SOMEBODY WASN'T THERE.
SO MUCH SO,
THAT EVENTUALLY I STOPPED WANTING TO WAKE UP AT ALL.
SO YES,
YES I'M STILL AFRAID TO FALL ASLEEP AT NIGHT,
AND I'M AFRAID TO LOVE,
ESPECIALLY TO LOVE.
 Sep 2016 Simona Dancila
NV
\_
 Sep 2016 Simona Dancila
NV
\_
because all my heartbreaks hang around my neck like charms on a necklace,
i could easily turn into a noose.

and i try let these worries sit on my tongue until they become soft enough for me to swallow them whole.

but my heart,
my heart is barely beating,
like the hands of an antique clock,
someone forgot to wind.
 Sep 2016 Simona Dancila
NV
i know only how to wear this body like an apology.
like i'm sorry i take up too much space.
like i'm sorry,
i don't feel small enough to fit into your hands.
i wear it like a sin.
like a prayer that never feels answered.
like confessions i keep trying to change.
i wear it like a broken commandment,
because i love thy neighbour,
but i hate myself.
 Sep 2016 Simona Dancila
NV
MY GOD,
I HAVE INHALED ABANDONMENT FOR SO LONG,
THAT ANY SCENT OF LOVE IN THE AIR,
MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO BREATHE.
PLUS,
THE TANKS OF OXYGEN ALWAYS SEEM TO BE MIXED WITH A HIGH DOSAGE OF PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY,
AND I WEAR THE MASKS SO OFTEN,
I FORGET I EVEN HAVE THEM ON.
his hair is made of midnight
dark and cold and soft like regret
like vivid dreams you
forget in the mornings
ink ignites his skin
lovely, unsettling drawings
traces up his body
everyone loves a living contrast
black on pale canvas
recently fascinated with pretty tattoos.
Do you remember what I'd told
That getting over you is my only goal
But forgive me today for playing foul
Now getting over what I'd told is my only goal.
Huh, Get me out of this race, I am too tired to chase
and can no more outpace, all these rats in this place.

God, I'm running out of dates, running out of grace
and now there's a war in my brains, I can longer face.

These were my thoughts of those days, thoughts of that phase
a phase with all the haze, huh, really my dog days.

You eve' had a thousand days, stuck in a maze,
and all the people say, you are a ******, buttface!

Oh, you know, all those Sundays, and your pastor takes
a bible to praise, and shoves on your face, with a freaking verse.

Sorry, It's time I replace, a 'God' that brings disgrace.
It's time I erase, the 'you' in my brains, without leaving a trace.

No please God, Why don't you come out of space, to this base
and do what it takes, to make this g'**** world amaze!

Oh my Lord, It's too cruel to stay, with all your plays,
in that space, when your race is in search of a brace.

Lord, Just open the gates, get us out of these straits,
to a whole new place, Father, with all your grace.

Lord, just in case, if you can't deal with our mistakes,
just bury us in your rage, but please don't leave us in these Hades.
The first few parts are obviously from my journal. After listening to the song-'Oh Lord' by 'NF', I was inspired to make a song of my journal. So this is it. I need your help to improve this one. Especially, I failed to find a connecting link for the first and and second half of this song.
I almost celebrate the unpopularity
of my imaging sandpaper and saws
sounds
thy western accompaniment
of warmer inner purpose
progressions of chords
calming and coherent
when you listen to
the harmonies
like adding mustard and relish
to a hotdog
sniff around for
chords perfectly
a new layer or two
on a journey of  my own
may you join in
my Magical Mystery Tour
where I add an f flat
to an f major
f flat becomes
f seven
upon your shoulders
and my powers and
depth are nothing but borrowed
true artists
are more
articulate

I am but lyrical
trying to re-introduce
a cadence
developing
a dream or two
however successfully
or not

it might be because
of a disconnection
a hallucinogenic
recollection
an old song
I listened to
while tripping

a long time ago

a radical idea
no

nothing but
borrowed

shadows
I dipped my leary feet in a
pond called science and witnessed the
molecules turn to ice

I asked a priest the meaning of
life, he said
"To be redeemed by God"
I read the scriptures of holy
gospels
I pondered the interpretation's
of all the apostle's
Answer the phone
I asked a bald monk the meaning of
life, he said
"To walk along the path of light."
I banged a gong sketched with
calligraphy and ate only
pomegranate seeds
Answer the phone
I looked all around for pieces
that fit
That sanctuary where you
come from
Like crossstitched buttons
from different grazes
the semblance of home
Answer
the
phone.
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