We all have times
that shape us
change our views of the world
we feel conflicted
our days characterized
by wrinkled brows and
downcast glances
what will bring relief
time
love
the support of those around you
our words may reflect
our struggles
no matter how hard
we try to hide behind a smile
let people save you
allow yourself to love
and be loved
heal
live another day
love another sunrise
love another sunset
love another song

Aging
It begins with a whisper
Different goals, lower expectations
The past beginning to fold in
Aching creaking bodies
No longer too young to die
Pressures displaced
Making babies
Paying taxes
Slimming debt
Years begin to scream
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE YOU THAT YOU WANTED
TIME IS RUNNING OUT
Pipe dreams shredded with old receipts
Your bunkmates married with kids
Another old conversation
Saunters through brain waves as you stare at wedding photos
Buy an expensive car
Have a scandalous affair
Peirce strange places
They ask why?
Because
That’s just what people do
Get old
Get scared
Pretend

It started out joking
Hypochondria, fear, the usual comedy
Your expression attracted my eye
Despair, longing, pain
So purely pressed into me
Radiating from those dark sunken eyes
That hard line of mouth

"I'm sorry, it's sensitive"
Little cousin I called her
Just 20 this year
That's as old as she'll get
Stage 4, there isn't much hope

Mom said she's done
She'll take her own life
I'm calling her everyday
Hoping she'll feel better
Stay my mom for a few more years

The tears started flowing a dismal parade
I don't have friends here
All I have is you three
With our few hours of playtime
Per month of agony

I needed this
I needed you
I needed someone
To keep me from breaking
To keep me trying

We are all gonna be dying some day
It's good to know we'll have someone
Willing to be there and listen
When we are giving up, sunken
Someone to hold us
When we just have to cry

i feel like i am
hanging merely on eggshells
cracking at my feet

yellow yokes like the sun
dance crazily at the scene
a mixture asunder

the painful outsides
like shards of glass in my fingers
tear me apart

i feel like i am
walking on eggshells till i fall
into arms unknown

(shai)