I've been looking for you all around

I can't find you in old photographs
And sometimes I can't reach you by phone
    But when I look in the mirror and see my smile

*I know I've found you

I left myself
With words unspoken
Falling down
On a heart, unbroken.

I fell within,
my deepest conscious.
I learned to swim,
Although I was cautious.

I take a breath,
of my polluted surroundings.
My soul full,
of worthless doubting.

I  walked along,
went with the crowd,
I hid myself,
in the shadows.

I fell asleep,
I dreamt my dreams,
Where everything is as it seems.

And as I wake,
Each day I say,
Welcome, welcome to another.

Another day, of hope and prey,
as I search for meaning,

The life of a long lost lover.

'Summertime blues'
An odd saying, isn't it?
That something so bright
And sun filled
Could be paired with something
So sorrowful
And gloomy
But it's the middle of June
And its rained all week
And you haven't spoken to me
In months
So I can understand why
The sun has disappeared
But I cannot bear to listen to rain
For it sounds too much like
Your sweet pulse
That kept all my clouds at bay
But the sun has gone
And taken you with it
And my clouds
Have all
Escaped.

don’t be afraid. crows will screech
and lions will roar but stand,
you’re the statue of liberty.

i never understood why you could smoke at 18
but drink at 21 when
smoking won’t let you graduate college.

call your mom every day, she sits alone
in the house that once swallowed you,
waiting to be taken too.

be your own best friend, no one else
will think that the sun shines out of your ***
more than you will.

lastly, love harder than you’ve ever loved—
let yourself fall and when you’re bleeding on the concrete,
get up and do it all over again.

It has been 12 yrs that you have been my son, alot of smiles and days of unending fun. It seems like yeasterday you was my shadow that followed where ever I seemed to go, my little boy could always make me smile, he was my strength when I was weak and my partner forever this I know. Months grew to years and I charished each one but now the laughfter has been replaced with silence and the eyes that once held joy is now filled with tears. The little hands that once reached to me with kindness and always ready to play, now seems so distant and keeps pushing me away. I miss what use to be. Never will I forget the little soft voice that said mommy,,,,,,,,,,  come play with me.                         ( Thanks to a Divorce)

Hearts are dangerous things
and thats why our ribs
are cages

its a daily struggle
you don't wake up one day
and the pain is gone
you have to fight it away
every single time you breathe
and whilst doing that,
you also have to smile
because you can't let people know
just how helpless you are
you can't let people realize
that you're weak
because they'll use it against you
they always do
so you put on a brave face
and mock your own pain
in the hopes that it will throw them off
the scent of your bleeding body
and the truth is, in all honesty,
you need so much more help
that you let people understand.
you're taking painkillers
when your body doesn't hurt
which is ironic, because i suppose this means
you're sicker than you thought.

I used to not understand why you would put a drug in your body-
but, then I looked at your past.
Your pain, how it burned.
Your mother gone.
Your family... None.
I don't think it is okay,
but I can understand.

Things are better today.
You moved away.
Your sad eyes swallow your smile.
I can only pray that I never see
you depart from me.

K.K.