Yeah, just tired.

you wished me well with my addiction
refused point blank to write your poetry
where it could be injected medicine
distilled from the pages of history
the agony of the reality made me wander
aimless and homeless broken and desperate
I chewed on the leaves of empty pages
pretending I could hear you singing.

When I listen to a certain song, an image just immediately pops into my head. But the image that always pops into my head is always you...and I just want to get it out. Almost like destroy the picture of you just forget.


Forget.

I want to forget everything about you. Your laugh, smile, eyes, nose, dimples, hair.....

Sometimes I think about what would happen if you did disappear. How I would act. If I would be happy or sad, If I would be quiet or loud, If I would be the same person I am today, If I would have the same friends...

But at the same time I don't want to forget

I want to remember almost relive all of our memories together... I want to relive all of the smiles, laughs, cries, dances, songs...

And as I think about this a simple song comes on the radio and it all comes rushing back as I smile.

She looked at her blades,
Than looked at her wrist...
She missed that feeling,
But her scars were healing.
She wanted to stay strong,
But i's  been so long...
She put the blade on her wrist,
And than made her hands into a fists...
She dropped the blade,
And began to cry..
She couldn't believe how long it's been,
Since she felt those blades cutting her self.....
She should be so proud,
But voices in her head got so loud...
She sat there in pain,
Because she knew she was  going insane!!!

I keep cutting windows into my cardboard walls
Square-shaped snapshots of sunshine
They remind me that there is a world outside
Of my dark and dusty paper cage

I don't bother with panes of glass
(I do not want to see my cold reflection)
But instead I leave the gaping holes wide open
And try to remember the taste of fresh air