Help it's such a hard thing to ask for

You try to act tough

But you know inside you feel like dying

And trying so hard to cover up your crying

You long for someone to listen to your pain

But no is around to hold you tight

So you lay alone night wishing for a better day

When all the pain will just wash away

And you can finally smile once again

Goodbye, Goodnight I shall go away tonight

I'm sorry love but this is for the best

I take these pills and knife

As I take my own life

I pretend a happiness I don't feel

Faking smiles and laughter

Just to please those around me

So goodbye, goodnight

As I slowly die tonight

These tears don't fall

Only crimson blood from my arms

I'm not mad at you or the world, just myself

Everything is distorted

I can't tell right from wrong

What's good or bad

So I do what I please

And hurt everyone around me

I want to end it all

But who would care?

I guess it really doesn't matter

These tears don't fall

They just crash on the floor

In the darkened room where I lay miserable

Hatred for everything around me

So I take some pills and cut my skin

As I make another sin

And try to forget what made this way

I close my eyes and go to sleep

Will I wake again?

No one really knows

I told you I loved you

You said it too

Only difference

I was telling the truth

While you lied

It kills me inside

Too see your face all the time

Happy and smiling

While i'm slowly dying

I don't want to believe

That I won't see you again

My last sunrise has come today

In the early morning of misty may

Is where I lay

With scars from the previous day

There's a gun in my hand

A hole in my head

And a note on my heart

I apologize for the pain i've caused

But I could bear this burden no more

I freed my self to a better place

Where the sun is always shining

So this is my last sunrise

I feel so numb like nothing can affect me

I feel dead inside

I forget what it's like to be alive

I cause pain on my self to feel alive

I look down my pillow is red

I still feel nothing

I cut a little deeper

I watch the crimson liquid flow out

I make some more cuts

I feel the sadness leaving me

I lay there and close my eyes

I bleed out the pain and sadness

I feel numb no more

I sit here in the dark late at night

Tears running down my face

I grab the razor from my beside drawer

I slash it against my skin

I sit as I watch the blood flow out

I make a few more to release the stress

To forget the pain ever existed

Just for a moment everything is alright

But then the blood stops flowing

And i'm forced to face reality again

The tears come again as well the regret

Another relapse to live with

A few more scars to hide

And a lie to keep living

I'm not strong enough

I need to relapse

Roses dead and wilted lie on your grave

Black pedals scattered across the dirt bed

Stems broken like your dreams

Dead at 17 doesn't seem real to me

But it was your time to leave

Soon it will be mine

Because I have cancer just like you did

Soon i'll be dead at 17

If life was a game I’d be dead

If life was a game I would have killed myself multiple times

If life was a game I would have more than one life

If life was a game I could “reset” when I hit game over

If only life was a game I’d be dead already

Fears become reality

Monsters don’t live under your bed

They live inside your head

Eventually you’ll end up dead

Listening to every word they say

It gets worse each day

You try to act like everything is fine

But inside you know it’s a lie

You see things that aren’t there

You hear things that make you scared

You start to go insane

Nothing will be the same

You’ve got me strapped to this bed

I feel my mind leaving my head

I’m close to being dead

I can feel the needle break deep inside of my veins

They tell me I’m insane

But they made me that way

Every day it’s the same old thing

Nothing is what it seems

I swear I’m going crazy

I feel so hazy

There are so many needles in my arm

They said they would do no harm

But look at me and my insanity

Everybody wants to be happy

Nobody wants to be in pain

But you can’t have a rainbow

Without any rain

Past the sadness and all the tears

After fighting all your fears

There is happiness that shines bright

After giving into the fight

You found there was another side

And that depression lied

Eventually we make it out alive

It just takes some time

The sun is setting

The light turns to darkness

The warm turns to cold

Everyone is asleep

Except her

She's awake

Ready to give up

She ties the noose

Tightens it around her neck

She kicks the chair

It ends tonight

She sits in room all alone her depression hanging over her

She can’t sleep at all

She takes out the pain on herself

Leaving her bleeding in the sink

She only see’s the ugly in the world

She grabs a pen and writes the love she longs to have

She looks outside to see the stars that hide behind the sky

We know that she’s a lonely soul we can save

She knows there is beauty in this world

She tries to take control of this

She closes her eyes and remembers hope

She throws away her razor and hides her scars

She looks at the sky once more and see’s the stars

She's upset and all alone each day

Nothing seems to be getting any better

She go's to her dresser drawer to rid the pain

She silently draws the blade across her skin

Tears flow down her cheeks

She puts down her weapon and closes her eyes

She prays to god for hope she's been wanting

She closes her holy book of lies

Because she knows nothings going to change

She picks up her weapon once more

And makes her final cut

Here she lies in a pool of blood

She finally got the hope she was looking for

My wrists are bleeding

Nothing is healing

I tie the noose around my neck

I feel the world would be better off without me

I kick the chair from under me

As I hang from the ceiling

I feel the air leaving me

Just a little longer

Until i'm a goner

The air is gone

My eyes are closing

The soul in me is slipping

I'm dead and gone

Now I'm off to live eternally

Oh sweet suicide

Triggers triggers everywhere

This pain I can no longer bear

One little cut is all I need

I just want to bleed

See the crimson fall from my skin

And create another sin

While I pass out on the floor

There is no more

It ends tonight

So now I sleep tight

She stands on her back steps watching her love leave

A tear slowly slips down her cheek

She knows he left for good

He's done with her he no longer loves her

It breaks her heart but she knows it's the truth

He'll be happy and live his life

She'll be lonely and cry every night

She took one last look at him

She closed her eyes tight

Whispered to herself "please don't leave me"

Inside she's broken and crying

Outside she's happy and smiling

Inside she's dying

Outside she's living

Inside she inflicts pain on her self

Outside she fakes a smile

If only someone took the time to see inside her

If only someone knew she was faking the outside

Here lies a dead girl and her untold story

No one knew what happened to her to drive her to the end

No one knew about the bullying or her suicidal tendencies

If someone knew would they have saved her, helped her

Would she still be alive or would she have gone through

If anyone knew her life story would they friend her or push her away

If only some one knew about the beatings, molestion and ****

If only someone learned about her about her before judging her

If only someone knew her life story she wouldn't be dead

As she sits here in her bed, suicidal thoughts going through her head

She grabs her metal weapon and presses it to her skin

Crimson tears seep through a wound so thin

Another lonely night dripped in regret

To her it's impossible to forget the pain her father caused

As she makes each cut she thinks of her dad

And the past that only holds his memory

Only a few more cuts and soon she'll be dead

All these thoughts going through her head

Will soon be put to rest and buried just like her dead body

It wasn't long til she ended it all

Hello dear come over here whisper something in my ear.
Tell me everything will be ok.
I pray that tomorrow will be a better day.
Help me break through my insecurities.

Help me see what's left of me.
Someone wake me up from this awful dream.
This isnt what it seems.

It's like everyday im walking into closed doors.
I can't feel no more.

I feel like a hollowed shell.
It's like a permanent trip to hell.
I dwell on the feeling.
It's not easy healing.

Everybody's words stabbing at you like swords.
It's like the whole world is pressing down on my shoulders

Life is filled with posers and images that arent real.
I still try to look like them so i skip a few meals.
I look at my stomach that's caved in from hunger.
I don't think that I can last much longer.

I look at my arms and see all the scars.
Memories from the past I hope they never come back.
I pray that tomorrow will be a better day.

Help me break through my insecurities.
Help me see what's left of me.

Someone save me before I fade away.
I pray that one day i'll come back.
Be stronger than before.
But for now i'm walking into closed doors.

Sometimes I get so depressed
it makes me want to pull my heart of my chest
I've been trying so hard to act normal like the rest
It's just so complicated it's making me a mess

I just want to curl up and cry
Sometimes I wish I could roll over and die
I never thought I would have to live behind a wall of lies

Is this the life I lead where I have to make myself bleed

Is this me?
Is this what has to be?
Was this life chosen for me?
Is this what has to be?

Do I have to forget the past
Just so I dont feel like an outcast
Do I have to look normal just so I can fit in your world

Break me, shake me, take me
But you can never change me
I choose who I want to be
Love me, hate me
It's time for me to be free

Im not here to impress or try and be the best
Im just being myself
Because theres nothing else

World you can not put me in a box, and make me something im not
So im done being depressed and comparing to the rest
Im just being myself because theres nothing else
I am me
This is who I choose to be