Saw  a  obituary  in  the  newspaper
of  a  long  lost  friend.

I,t  hit  me  off  the  page.
Like  an  arrow  through  my  heart.

Keith  Wilson.  Windermere.  UK  2016.

I felt it to the depths of my heart
The riots in Istanbul
To the point that on a whim
I packed up and left
To join them.
I know how many died
And got life long injuries
And I don't know why
But it feels like a personal insult
That these people are being
Stripped off their basic rights
At the hands of a religious leader

I heard the worry years ago
As I sat at the table with you
In a mansion ajoining the consulat.
How I wondered in here
I beyond me, but here I am.
Watching the wrinkle
Appear on you doll-like features.
I roared with rage as I watched
The footage of the taking of Taksim.
My heart broke with the lightbulbs
I threw at the riot cops
Off the safety of your balcony.

they're just doing their jobs

they attained 50 people tonight

Right before my eyes

I could only watch them
Jump out of their windows

Now I hear that they blew up
The apartment right across
From yours last night.
And the guy who sold bread
On the side of the street died.
I watched the footage
Of Radiohead fans
Being beaten up
For enjoying themselves
During your religious vast.

*Why doesn't anyone help them?

At long last I can feel a cool breeze
     "I can breath again"
No need to cower, I'm off of my knees
     "I can stand again"
There on the horizon beams a bright light
     "I can see again"
Shining out hope in my darkest night
     "I can dream again"
A steady beacon to sail towards
     "I can raise my sails again"
In life's music I once again hear the cords
     "I can dance again"
Feel with in my chest, this shattered heart beating
     "I'm alive again"
I washed up on a new shore, a new beginning
     "I have hope again"



Please treat me gently, treat me kind
For a scared little rabbit is what you'll find
That's lived life way to long in that ******  hole
I was thrown down there so long ago
But my love comes with no possibility of pain
For what's been done to me, I could never do the same

i sat outside for a long time
and contemplated suicide
i smoked cigarette after cigarette
growing frustrated as i reached the end of my pack
i took drink after drink, unaware of the heaviness my head was causing me
i was already hazy, so i didn't notice the tears that were blinding me
i thought of how many people would attend my funeral
i pondered if i should even leave a note
i wondered desperately how many people loved me
i grew more anxious when i realized there was none
i passed out outside, under the moon and star light
i knew that by now i was so drunk that i could end it without a second thought
yet in the morning, i awoke still alive
i often wonder why i want to die
i wonder why i haven't done it by now
i wonder -
what a life,
always thinking of suicide