im in the car for an hour or so

the whole time the sky is grey

rain splatters onto the windshield

this is what makes me feel okay

it seems like all of my closest friends have turned away from their beliefs and changed right before my eyes and theyre oblivious to it and see no difference in how they act and it terrifies me because what if i lose their friendship and get left alone again, alone to go back to my hurting, painful loneliness that kills me. god. i ******* hate change.

(s.m.)

im laying here overthinking

you and he are probably talking

im crying while listening to knuckle puck

youre probably on the phone talking about getting ******


(s.m.)

its one of these nights
where nothing can help me sleep
im so restless and cant sleep
i need to, i want to, but i cant
my blankets are making me suffocate
my chest is aching, but i think thats just thoughts of you
a lot of things with other explanations i blame on you

(s.m.)

im really not worth much
like a penny in a parking lot
nobody really uses me or sees me
but i have some worth
and who knows, maybe ill be used
and i may be worth a lot to someone
but personally, i dont feel worth anything
im not worth much.

(S.M)

being straight edge is a struggle

everywhere i look i see people getting high

i see them drinking their problems away

i see them getting ****** up to get away from reality

and lets be honest

whats the point?

it may help for a little

but then you come down

and its all back to the same pain

(s.m.)

its 3 days from christmas, and i start thinking about those who dont get anything except another meal taken away because their parents would rather spend the money to get high or the kids who get nothing but a black eye or another burn from a cigarette or the ones who get nothing except another line across their wrist and just more tears and they spend the "most wonderful time of year" in their room, hurting in some way

(S.M.)