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CSI
A 911 call at a trap house.
A cop finds a dead dude with a broken face and a satchel of ****.
When his detective buddy says "ey whats the cause of death?"
He picks up the **** and goes "Blunt force trauma."
His partner looks at him like "srsly?"
He just laughs.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha laughed sooooo hard when I wrote this.
I am a comedian or something?
Johnny Panic Apr 2012
Hey
      guys,
i been dating
This girl
On and off
On and off
For several years…

But whenever things get tough
He wants to up and run

So leik
i know we love
Each other
more
Tha nything else
n he saes hes read
To do right by me

But whenever things get tough
She wants to up and run

He says he knows
What he lost when he
Left me
n i love herbut
i am afraid of
Getting hert

So my queshtion is
Should I stay or should I go, now?
Answer in the reactions bellow

Leik srsly
      Guys,
i don’t know wat 2 do
Jamie Matthews  Feb 2015
W0t3vA
Jamie Matthews Feb 2015
w0t3va mum
idc
lyk srsly
g3t 0utta my hair

i h8 it
whn u d0 dat
u tke ma fone
fgs mum

u knw w0t
im gunna tweet bout u
u str355 m3 0ut
mum u knw w0t
*
F U.
...I’m lying here wanting to die again...
...I don’t even care that I’ll die alone...
Don’t take me to heaven
...nor to hell.
Blot out my existence! (xXPLEASE GODXx)
Past, present, and future
...with me you clearly made a mistake
of which I could break the silence.
...
SCREAM your flaw out to the masses.
6(an un6eliever with a weapon)6
END MY MISERY AND THEY’LL NEVER KNOW
it’ll be our secret vow
///!!!/// :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( ///!!!///
R   x
——  
I’m lying here wanting to get high:) again
...do my usual late night routine...
Chop the PiLLs/Chop the pOwDeR
Smoke break/Smoke break/Smoke break
snort away the self loathing (check)
*** I’M SUCH A WRECK :( ;) :(
smoke away the recurring memories
XOXO Vanessa/Nadia/Teigen/Anna
Gosh **** I feel good :):)
**** I feel ******* great:):):):):)<3<3<3
When I’m this high I can feel your breath (ooooohhhhhhh)
I can interlace my fingers with yours (awwwwwww!)
But I still can’t feel love (srsly?)
So it’s not enough (glutinous pig)
I’m still treading on infinite horizons
It’s all just too **** blue!
Theme-song/Hymn/Life-story
My favourite/My curse
theroxyblues

...I’m lying here picturing you again...
You look like a cowgirl(8)
You’re emo(9), punk(9), and goth(9)
Addict(10$$$JACKPOT$$$10)(my seventh heaven!)
A princess <3
...A sloth (Zzz)
I love (XO) my bed
You love (XO) yours
We never had the chance (******* **** me)
Suicidal ideation
Release the excess pressure.
But now I laugh instead of feeling
And cry when they all smile.
it's a game
of who cares less
left on delivered
unsending texts
general statements
to silently dig
because i'm too shy
to just say ****
and i know if i did
it'd just get forgotten
pouring until i'm an
empty carton
hate that feeling
so just i say nothing
act nonchalant
but i'm bad at bluffing
so now it's weird
because i think too much
concerns get buried
so i can get ******
i'm trying my best
to not mess it up
but i let the situation snowball
like it always does
and now it's too late
to fix what i bent
so i'll just say
we're better off as friends

— The End —