Heartfelt cold type of a guy, lost in life
No place in this world for my type, standing on a crossroad, praying hands to the sky. I just need a guide
Enternal thoughts, creating this concrete writer, I got fuel for words, abused enough to start a fire.
I'm hearing distance whispers, numb in my feelings, penetrator of wombs, demons speaking to me through the ceilings.

My tounge with words from deeper than ether
Shadow men, down under - working against the beginning, they wanna' destroy the beginning, so they aiming at the end.
You can call them mates, but you know it's only a pretend - The black man was first on this place.. They took you for friend, you took them for slaves

Do some research, know your ******* place
This world is the dumbest *******, they don't even bother to replace these men, schooling indoctrination must be working well.

Don't you see it's a race against the race
Snowflakes melting, screaming "let's accept more gays!"
**** the biological functions, its a self destructive, non breeding phase.
Trust me, you'll loose if you take the backdoor In a straight forward race.  

Whispering in my ear, EVERYDAY it's getting clearer and clearer
"Tie the robe tighter" aren't you tired of not being able to be your own provider
Trying to keep whats left intact - but I'm a shattered fighter, broken inside out can't remember last I slept, ****!
I don't wish to be the survivor, my luck is out - joker mentality makes my life way harder
Balancing on the edge, looking at his inferno, the same way I'm looking inside my fridge, hungry.. But but no food to taste, not feeling, I'm ****** to the bone pain is temporary, I never understood that term, all my life I had to carry, weight of the world
I see many.. Stupid ******* weak people, they are so many.. I know.. But few working brains controls all the dumb

Dante described hell, but forgot everything is inside yourselves.
We are stuck in the Dark, possessed and doomed to always fall.
Here is life, a gift from god, only a slave will embrace. The catch is no fun, so let them chase.

The Devil is singing my name, I always felt life was a curse and a gift it's all the same
, I don't like surprises, I play my own life like a throw of dices
I smell beasts and burned skin, far away you can feel the winter is coming, they arises, but I have Snow.

Towards shadows, towards pain
deep into the forrest, where no soul is to blame!
No stop of me,  I'll be Like Gump, life is like a box of chocolate, and sometimes you'll get Trump
**** your illusion, not understanding we're all ******* prophets, there is no such thing as coincidences
you are useless, because of the lack of knowledge.. If you are woke, Add a D between use and Less.

inside terror, keeping my eyes away from the mirrors.
God created this life, why all the pain if he is our guide through hard times and internal wars.

I spit on it, and threw it away, and tossed it.. Life is a gift? It's more like poison Turning upside down, I do the Kriss Kross dance - cross
I'm strong, and yet weak in my knees to pray, not to the sky, but the other way, I'm searching for the light in the darkness - Lucifer carries on what I wanted

I just want  everything to turn black, and silently disappear
, feeling this pain coming to an end, darkness within I don't longer have to pretend, I'm Linking all the dots, last walk in the park, nothing else matters
In the end!

Coming thru, cold as ****, nothing but some feelings getting blocked, I eagerly wanna bite the apple, I'm hungry and I'm stucked, I'm in my own prison of Eden, I'm so mental ill, I don't take pills unless it kills, and serpent  fears to be eaten, I'm soulless and Lost, Like George Bush, - look inside the coffin, connect to the sky, wait a minut.. Is that Steve Jobs?
The bite of the apple, it's so crystal clear you all blinded  bought all that expensive hi-tech gear.
Snakes do what it takes.

Living like cancer, I'm not a survivor
Keeping it Blair witch in the woods I see rituals, they call it illuminati, all seeing eye, you can't escape then border between illusion and reality, tri-an-gles, and all seing eye
It's the eye of a tiger. Ask Eldrick, all the money in the world didnt turn the hole in One (Holy one) any brighter.


White privilige, ***. I can't turn any whiter, throw the dirt on my body, Bury me in sandcastles, as if digging was your hobby, do your ******* ****

Got these skeletons inside my closet, playing Marco Polo inside my brain pineal gland, I try to save it, I can't stop it! Your third eye is key, so detox it.

, I'm ready to cut it, the feeling of living a life, that's not worth it, cut it!

I pray to jesus, but then the devil walks in.
I guess only one of them listens and understands
it cuts me inside from my soul to my pride, that's not living life, feels like a dream, so I won't open my eyes, to realize the real me, pin me to the cross, I let me sacrifice. I can't live life with these two eyes.

Yeah depression is keeping me busy and just alive, it's like the heart  and my brain is synchronized,   I'm slowly forgetting, all the things I've been missing, put it on a milkbox, like all the lost souls, which enforce these sources of adrenochrome,


So I walk towards the sun, with my teeth biting my tongue,  I keep my feelings locked , affraid of the scenario where I'm the loaded gun, not affraid,, just a bit paranoid, has these inner dialogs, wait for me, stay away from me.. No, don't leave.. Ahh... ******* RUN! I feel the cold blade playing like a violin on my arm, let me drain until empty Ness embrace my soul, where soil covers my face, and the rotten heart is invited down to his place.

Daddy ain't around, and momma searching for love, I'm attaching to any kind that reminds me of love, just wanna feel warmth like dragons in game of thrones so much cold, and a bit of snow
Mommi ******* told me, she made a mistake the day I was born. I'm spinning around - lost my compass, ah I'm finally gone
looking back, only  smelling burning rotten meat, I hate I ever was born. Hard and soft, I would do anything for love.. Take a short way  to hell where I ******* be-long, I'm finally gone, burning inside out, you really wanna know? OK... Yeah the devil has all your friends and two horns.

Water under the bridge and me
How knowledge turn banal missing verbs and dots from wisdom called absurd like time because of watches late when neither knows the right answer to be, i dont know. instead of eating poison just because starving, to throw a coin out of reach, like promise without words to keep like words without truth pointless like the journey without destination, youth without home, without roots not tree but a platation nor a name to keep to keep to care for, but a spring and summer, like the finger that pointed handed saying blessed and holy for hundred folds is told god to repay what isnt and should must. The careless ones that care too much to act or advice. Like the ones knowing the most speaking the least. First one can teach to cry one must learn, like to worry for a concern, bad for good. Like an excuse instead of an answear   of all the questions due, and then i hear: anythings better than hemlock, sounds to me like crosses seem some left behind in gones unwilling or unable or foolish, but not foolish to as love but more to hate as intentionless so godful one, as godles the other. Not as hope that doesnt believe but faith that doesnt hope, like the scars and the wounds like lions and pride like storm rains time that comes in soon is the time that went after time from time to went to come to you and me and you and me to come to care for, careless and carefull like about the rainbow we used to, once talked in thunders and birds screams and the field roads of passway  rocks fallin in mountains under the beatin of hooves of fate free and reason and language and time of salvation a dream we dream about and inviolet heaven a bedlike welcome awaitin all them men of all them boys whose love loves better than mens more than a son a father and father son to home how we greet is what gives that name to that house of great our fathers and our fathers god we too dare to bother to seek  our pay with a dream to awake from once our stomach fed not starving for morrows to die in but days to live close and as humble as honest the heart of the heart we call soul gave a think and roads enough to name one a wanderer indeed wandered and wishesh wished at star fall and prayers whispered to the safe of his palms for fools call foolish every time and for gods call theirs unlike men once therefore always like the said spoken a beggar begs the landlord a meal we beg your charity to grant us you already granted like the landlord the spring and responsibility to brother and duty in disguise every now and then with a new story to end and to sing about like a dove with broken wing, sheep without shepard and voice without sound and silence like god to stay unknown for all  to have to think of, like air like love we breath every breath a scent of instinct an inspiration to know better like heart beats beatless and unknowingly like all we forget but remember. Like all we pass be dying, and all we do and say to mind to dont matter yet to matter like to think to think twice, how many wrongs it takes for a right, as wars to battle to peace and roads to step to meet, tears to cry to see a brother and thorns to a king and kingdom and its dom to heaven get near of far already had come, did never leave nor left like the sun the day and yes a question to not  answer like today tommorow is and yesterday never was as long is cohen writin hallelujah like davinci paints mona lisa, still the beggar asking for a slice is the least, always.

Sometimes i think of water sometimes of the bridge. His wisdom is wise but not profound but ultimate, its emotion like music does to soul to embrace but not hold to kiss for but the cheek to know like love to never give yet never take, speak when spoken, to laugh and without a reason to have a reason many times for rivers to move alike free to run out or walk away just two of the poorest choices of transport, as to get insulted or insult a choice to decide for controll being out of yet free to have a share in meal but not in the song, just as the worda have meaning so do they have reason, which he built his life its laws and gods and decided to be in controll and be free like to do and have done to perfect to complete, he understood we go in morning where we say before night, people are never as sick as they say nor is it ever as bad as it seems or good as one thinks when thinks right never as wrong as never wrong when thinks. Knows only thinks. Doesnt think knows. Before mind a word to speak to cross silence like time to call out to question its patience  to deeds to get done never heared say more than at times havin nothin to say what to pay a privilige to hope or death, door or key, nerves or lack of focus to blame hearts dont listen locked, and before the last dies, so does the week after the last day, so the hope we hoped in was everywhere around, while we called it death where we never been what we could have been drunk and travel with song and the boys a wicked a smile to cherish and band to one word instead like devajah, and with devajah life saved, eternity granted and by stars be shining and falling and devajah to blind to see, by making them look, lame to walk by forgiving the ways of sins and sinners for sake of love asked to part from evil.  

Sometimes i think to drown, sometimes to learn to swim, sometimes to set sail i think to have somewhere to sitq The idea of control is to not have it just as the hunger the strive of soul that searches with knowledge of only known to dont know and free will is only it takes to find it, therefore to find the path that turns to understanding and wells by green lakes with swan and benches and shores to turn inward full of kindness and waterwalls all as welcoming as the surface that echoes every leaf every drop and seed of poppy in one whirl of will at hand of might and on tip of my tongue the reason of able to sense the pain the cause of mistake a lesson in every mirror i see after suddenly like to recall a trivial of some of past and smile, how simple once we understand. Meaning i guess: sad is not sad, nor is happy, as long not perfectly happy with being sad. Nothing is boring except us, if so   so it is with shame just as blame you can a bag to command a man to carry, but guilt is only selfmade why air in that bag bigger than me, of world the half, of hell the cover and heaven everything else, im wearing. Control is not about doing what you want but to want to do what you are. Freedom means act accordingly and slavery to force and be forced. There is a great song: you gotta serve somebody. Like hour to minute, minutes to hour, steps to footprint on the road where you want to be or want to go. Freedom is not in control but control in freedom. Not fencing our loves but facing our fears. Water under the bridge and me thoughts of all the bridges and all the rivers and me's waitin there patiently the great waterendin...
                                  and i laugh.

Water under the bridge and me thinking there be something wrong with me beside the great waterendin.
                      ...and i laugh again.