There is the monster coming out of me
He's the only one that keeps me from the bleed
I'll let him rule my heart again
Keeps me far from everyone's sin
Harden what little heart I have left
Because all I did was wept
I'll never let love in
No never again
Sweet oblivion
Never to be forgiven
Heart in a blender
Life torn asunder
Let the moster out
Turn it all about
Never to let any one close
This is what I've chose
It's only way my life goes
Other wise agony just grows
My life has changed
My feelings are deranged
My soul mate is estranged
It's all been rearranged
So I let the monster roam
Only he can bring me home
I'm back in the dark
It's only right I'm marked
The broken only get thrown away
So in the trash I'll stay
I will turn invisible
Because I am just to miserable
I'll let the moster be
He's the only one that truly sees
He will keep me safe
Keep me from the painful place
The moster keeps everyone at bay
So I can robotically go through my day
My moster kills the feelings
My monster will do my dealings
My monster moves my limbs
My monster now lives in my skin

By:D.E.T

Goin' back from memory
I remember that I started to feel empty
When I saw a poster
Post D.E.T is a monster
All I did was blurt
A laugh although it hurt
Me, people tellin' me I'm a disaster
All I did was smile

Although that wasn't my style
But yeah, I smile

When everyone was gone
I sob the tears that I was holdin' on
From that day I knew that everyday
I had to pretend that I was okay
Even if it meant feelin' lonely deep inside
So, no one can see the pain
That I hide
Inside

Had to go through this everyday
But as I grew up I knew that was goin' to be the way
Cuz I'm used to being called a monster

Now that times passed by
My emotions are dry
So, go on call me a monster
Cuz I'm stronger
Tougher
Although they made me suffer

Come on put me on a cage
Where I find myself on the stage
Where I get call a monster
Now so, monster I have become
Onstage but I'mma gonna uncage
Myself
Put me on the cage
Write me a page
Tell the page that I am a monster

Now that time has fly by
Y'all stand aside
But y'all collide
Cuz I know karma
Is gonna come back and make pay for the drama
That caused people call me a monster

Yeah, moster I am my heart
Is now dark
Monster I am cuz y'all ******
My soul
Cuz y'all just wanted to ruin
My soul
But that only made you look cruel
Cuz y'all were nothing but

Don't need you to understand
So, you can stand
Where I land
Cuz I'm a monster like you said

Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow may not come
Lets go out and have some fun, come on and get you some
It is no relationship, just the here and now
We should live it up, I'm a monster on the prowl

Title          : My Life With
                     Monster Pain
Poet          : Phyll
Genre       : Life/Pain/sorrow
Year          : 2018
P/SwNO. : 116

( Content; this piece is based on my own true story and applies to our day to day life experiences.Anyone who reads this might find it weird and some actions i did to be stupid but i had no choice.Life is full of pain and when we find ourselves in this situation tend to shy off from our on demons instead of facing them.Personally pain pushed me to the walls twice i attempted to commit suicide with no success but just added more pain on myself.That's when i realised that,no matter how difficult life is and how much pain you endure DON'T give in to those crazy ideas that run through your mind but instead get positive and helpful idea.)

MY LIFE WITH MONSTER PAIN-By Phyll

Life is full of unexpected things,
Luckily,
you can be friends with your enemies;

Unfortunately,
your own life turn to be your enemies.

See,
life is full of surprises.

Funny it may seems, and at the same time,
It will hurt you truly with a monster called Pain.

In my life I have lost big opportunities,not once nor twice but uncountable times.

I had even forgotten how to smile,
how to see a bit further, beyond this misery.

I had also forgotten how to be happy,
how to trust anyone, give them power over me.

I had even forgotten how to be me,
I buried everything deep inside, just to hide it from others.


You taught me how to smile again,
to laugh without reason, to cry from the joy.

Dear Pain,
Thank you for revealing my error again,
showing that path of tears lie in sorrow, not in joy.

Thank you for taking it all away,
making me to hide myself again, to trust no one.

Thank you for telling I am nothing,
pointing my place, to be an outcast in life by my own choice.

And now
I'm making love
Not with a fake human being
But with a brand new razor blade.

Love me,
my razor blade.

Peel my skin,
make me scream.

Sink so deep,
make me weep.

Cut my flesh,
make me bleed.

Take my life,
set me free.

Conversing to myself like a mad man,
Not even 'like' but i had gone insane.

With nice little twist,
I slit my wrist...

Not waiting for life to ****,
rather my own blood I spill.

It's my own choice, I have no fears,
only pain, in eyes some unshed tears.

On the floor, blood making stains,
slowly releasing me from my pains.

****** stains, stains like in my soul,
caused by all the pain, this life Is so full foul...

Vision finally fading away, soon it's all done,
staring darkness, oh so black, soon it's all gone.

Soon I'm released, free from this pain,
suffering and life, it was all just in vain.

Thought,how funny blood makes difference between life and death,
farewell life, so painful, so useless, gonna take my last breath;I told myself.

The pain i felt left many queries unanswered but rather more questions continued acquired.

Why should I listen to my heart,
When It brings nothing but pain.
Why should I fall apart,
When Everytime is the same.

Why should I follow a fake a dream
knowing it will bring nothing but more scream
Why should I ... ?
When I ...

Do you feel me ???

Why should I wait all day?
I feel but I cannot speak it out,
Why do I feel this week weak?

You Moster Do you really feel me?

Why should I go through this agony?
Why can't I just follow my destiny?
Why can't I just let of life?
Maybe because ...
Maybe ... Maybe.

Dear Pain,I do feel You,
But have you ever felt me?

No doubt that;

The pain is in me,
The pain will not leave me.
The pain is all i feel in me,
It's now apart of me.

I just want to;

Cut out my heart,
Cut out my emotions.
Cut out you monster pain!

Only in darkness do i find peace,
Only in darkness can i escape.
Only if this darkness could stay,
But unluckily it wouldn't obey.

I just want to;

Cut out my heart,
Cut out my emotions.
Cut out you monster pain!

But this only added more pain,
I guess they were right;
When they said 'No Pain No Gain'.
The pain i felt made me gain more scars,lesson and experiences never to be forgotten in my entire life.

No doubt that,
Life is full of unexpected things,

Luckily,
you can be friends with your enemies;

Unfortunately,
your own life turns to be your enemies.

See,
life is full of surprises.

Funny it may seems, and at the same time,
It will hurt you truly with monster Pain.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
COPYRIGHT BY PHYLL
*(C)2018.

You always had a dream of the person you wanted me to become yet you never care what i thought.you never asked if it was what i want to be it was about you.i remember everything you tried to teach me and how bad it sounds now.

Always be what people want you to be move in the right cricles its all about money power and rescept.you want it take it no matter what the coast is.the world is yours so go ahead and  grab it and always be perfect.

This was the ugly moster you where trying to turn to me into i am
for not perfect.but i couldnt be that heartless or be someone who is shollow and fake.that just not me.


I just want to be me no one is perfect we all make mistakes we sometime get it wrong.i cant be fake and show people that i love them or care about them i am sorry.

My face is all swollen and red with the rage.
like a moster busting out of his cage
I enter the room with my Glock 25
Shoot them all dead leave no one alive
People will wonder how I got to this gate
With this twisted burning of concentrated hate
I was born into this world an innocent soul
But my innocence soon from me was stole
So now all of you ******* have got to go

she's always there
like a shadow
you don't need to look
you know she can't leave
"youre my bestest friend"
she says
"bestester"
it's an on-going game
"I love you more"
"most"
"moster"
no winners.
because she doesn't need to win.
she'd let you win.
because she's your shadow.
she's mine.

She was a beautiful dreamer
She had so much hope in her
Someone who was loved by everyone,
even me.

Beautiful soul, well now it's been broken.

No one saw her drown.
6 years ago that is.

It was quiet but fatal and so sly and slow that not even she knew it was coming for her
Sadness slowly soaked into her, it became permanent in her fragile bones.
It wasn't something she couldn't handle at first, but with time it possessed the good that was left of her.
How beautiful her smile was and her eyes so angelic, something tells me it's the tears she cries at bedtime that anglicised them so.

I never told you that after a while the pain, the sadness it got the best of her except that didn't stop her from making sure other people were happy.
But, slowly they diluted her hope.
Her own moster is what she has, what she had become.
An angel is how they somehow still saw, even what they still see her as.
That's the thing about her she managed to stay such a dear.
Quite sad rather, how no one really saw the pain in disguise but she was such a great pretender you can't exactly call them ignorant.

Well this was her, Sweet Tragic.
Oh Sweet Tragic.

Brocken shadows decide to linger
just a little longer.
The 12 am tears stain my face like bleach on a linen shirt
Dates with the dark are common
and the tsunamis of the past come to crash the world I' d so gracefully built
The brocken violin playing a sad song, the only one I know.
The ivy crawling up the old walls of the cage that keep me away from the outside world,the world I so miss to see.
The youthful one sings in the halls, her voice echoing and her delicate frame dancing before a single candle light. Yet when she turns, her face is seen crumbling, like the wall paper of the room.
No key will unlock the door that so blatantly is in front of me. I have tried to knock it down but my mortal blows are no match for the chains of this moster.
The stench of lonliness is overbearing. When will I smell the taste of freedom?
When will I walk the earthly ground?
When will I kiss the cheeks of life?
For the Gods only know, how trapped I am here.