I have been shy with you
because in secret I SIN
THINKING OF YOU
until I melt in your arms
like a candle all night
shy I will be
Unrequieted I've become
LOVE OF MY LIFE!
in secret I remained loving you
all of my life since we met
when I've been all alone
mad passionate love
I made to you
all the night long
but mostly
I  missed you that much more
when I wasn't all alone
and that was my misfortune  
in secret I learned how to
be loving to you
after you left me p/r
just like Rhett
left Scarlett
I wasn't greedy in this life time
I've seen what
jealousy and greed
can do to lost souls
hating me for the absence
of what they had in excess
ignorance and superstition
many a time they did hurt me
unprovoqued
some bid to take my life
and I did weep
I did CRY for your love
for many other reasons
too painful to mention
my lover of life you
I MISSED YOU SO
knowing me was loving me
had you given me a chance
it got harder not to miss you
as each desolate year flew by
cruel Mr time added penance
to my treacherous path
another queen
took your heart
reading into my soul's
inscripted scarler "A"
my heart resigned in a void
when despair plunged  
your daggar on me
many times I promised myself  
to show you love if you ever
returned
I planed to blindfold me  
or meet you in the dark
that you may see my secret
stars sparkling in full array
to earn your love back
I planed to blindfold you too
  to break the
nefarious silence and gap
so you could feel how identical
from every angle we were
interchangeable twin flames
what a rare occurance
that is
the sun light of God
in you face did blind me
the look in your grassy eyes
burned me up
blew me or re-arranged me
froze numb me
only you had that power on me!
you too the light of God
in my face you could see
all sumissive to you
the years now passed
its Winter love
my old lovers, silence, grief martirdum & regret
refused to leave me alone
how I hated them!
and then some
the bad with the well intentioned ones I also refused
my inner core loved only you

please thaw me slowly now
don't dig your knifes in me
can't you see
I've put everything to sleep
who can live in your love without you
in every life time you left me
for another woman
and
each time I took my life
in jealousy I drowned
in silence I died
WHO AM I?
  the woman who loves you
the MOST
in this whole wide world
THAT'S WHO
Karijin! Jump in my pool
now all my lovers have
finally given up and left me
if you still wish to see me cry
USE honey HUG me
kiss me with your Rhett kiss
spirit breath of life
and if you can't
look at your STAR
in your bed
remember my
constellation is Aries
Gods love bid we should
have married
once upon a time
to change the world.
no more class rich could
marry  poor
You changed my life, love
you Rocked my world
I love you forevermore
LOVE OF MY LIFE.

Just like Goddess Kali
I am feared when not
understood
my enemies know my loving passion are my kids
those demons slander me
fearing the mother
goddess in me
I gave life and inadvertedly heartbroken waived it
I give life
birthed my children
against all adds
motherhood apeaces me
injustice enrages my dance
I am Goddess Kali Karijin
~~
Precious daughters
Elena Rose Jeanette fear not
I save I protect I write
it's my frenzied dance
surounded by demons ferocious
you and me won many a
gruesome wars
to protect you three your
children alike my light
I have deamed
Remember Mother Kali
I love you miss you
more and more
and for you my life I lay
~~~.
The goddess mother
(excerpt)
~estranged from kids ~
~~~~~~
"The stars are blotted out,
    The clouds are covering clouds,
It is darkness vibrant, sonant.
    In the roaring, whirling wind
Are the souls of a million lunatics
    Just loose from the prison-house,
Wrenching trees by the roots,
    Sweeping all from the path...
The sea has joined the fray,
    And swirls up mountain-waves,
To reach the pitchy sky.
    The flash of lurid light
Reveals on every side
    A thousand,
thousand shades
Of Death begrimed and black."

love & motherhood apeace me.
~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
inspired
by Hindi ink Durga-Kali
Shiva Lord's Wife
revised 06-5-19
~~~~