I am looking at the moonlight
Wondering when my life begin
Swimming in a pool of sin
Letting others take me in
Making me think when
When would I be me
Stuck in the ground like a tree
Women is all I can see
Why won't my mind let me be
I'm always thinking
I'm always wanting
I'm always saying
That **** would ok
But like Barbie I'm fake
Likes everything's okay
But I have problems like the rest saying my future could be the best
But I'm wearing suicide like a vest
And the t shirt is pressed
My pants on set
My life is a mess
None hears my cry
It so silent I could die
I could die right now
And not make a sound
I'll look back and say
That every things okay
But it's not
My head is in a lock
My mind won't set me free
Every body thinks I'm filled with glee
But can they see the real me
Can they feel me crying
No they can't
Because it's all in my mind .
.

Passing all those drunkards on the street,
All high on wine and beer,
I spot the many different ones,
But none as bad as you.

That moment the bass drops in a favorite song
Submerging your body from the core inside the musical trance
The first few strides in the open air after days of isolation
Open eyes opening once more as the daylight kisses them
A smile appearing where your lips were caressed by another's
Blossoming as your fingertips trace the fresh tracks of a kiss
The soothing heat that spreads through your body
Bringing a cool breeze gushing from your core within
You didn't have a drop to drink to feel this drunkeness
You sit in silence yet the music is still felt
You were never imprisoned to feel the freedom of open spaces
And your lips have been untouched for days unnumbered
But the memory is still there, fresh as the grass beneath your dreaming feet
As refreshing as the waters of a forgotten stream lightly touching your palms
Bringing a sorely missed kindred spirit back to its other life
Complete in it's entirety and clear in view
Without lacking in touch, smell or others alike
Oh love, it's real, more real than we could ever fantasize.

The color of a slightly tipsy tongue peeling my resolve from my own is that of a winter morning
-- clear and concise in its purpose,
Sending signals to my brain, which, in response,
Transmits slight shivers down my spinal cord,
Raising the fine hairs
Along my smooth skin
--the same relaxed, whispy, ***** that covers tense, terse, and trembling muscles.

The sound of a shirt being pushed
Out of the way;
The sound of pants already crumpled,
Settled,
On the carpet my mother cleans.
That sound that represents
Everything I've ever wanted from nothing
But can not accurately depict
Anything I've wanted from one thing in particular.

Because you are special and
You make me want
And
You make my body tense and
My words short and
My lips loose.
Loose so as to open and receive your secrets given
In
False
Drunkeness
--to allow your breath to absolutely fill
My lungs
As you drag me down beneath the surface
And into the dark.

We are not blind.

Our nerves spark in the darkness,
The area devoid of any light source
save for those that arise from the
friction of skin against skin
and mind against mind,
Ideas crashing and banging together
As they
Escape
From our mouths
During our futile resistance to anything logical
Or rational,
Our selves piloted by the thought of
Unfathomable numbers and equations
That led to this moment
When our bodies feel everything
And our minds feel
Nothing.

We are naked before the eye of the God neither of us believe in.

Love is the sweet taste of frosting at the tip of my tongue.
That feeling as a child choosing the perfect cupcake in a plethera of many.
I open my eyes and I feel the sweetness of your lips.

Love is the cream and sugar in my coffee, so smooth.
But smoother to me.
My lover leaves it for me on my nightstand.

Love is the smell of bacon and eggs as I walk into the kitchen in my bed head hair.
You kiss the top of my head.
You make bacon seem ****.

Love is wading in the water in my nakedness.
In the darkness, moon in the sky, and my moon behind me.
I feel your nakedness a foot away from me, behind me, yet we never touch.

Love is the unsaid words in the silence.
Sitting near each other in our silliness or our
Drunkeness
We are intoxicated with each other, yet we shared no wine.

Love is knowing here on earth that every breath I take,
And is exhaled,
you inhale in every pore of your skin.

I can still recall when I first put my mouth on yours.
It felt like true love.
I felt the burn in my chest
And yeah truly everytime your lips and mine touch I still feel it..
I remember for a while I was ashamed to walk with you by my side.
Afraid of people watching when our lips touch
But then I really fell fall you and wanted to be with you everyday
I would happily walk with you not caring who saw us
It's only been a year and a lot has changed.
I no longer love the burn you give me,
I'm ashmamed I have you by my side.
To think I've chosen you over a lot of people.
I'm now barely hanging on. .

I'm disgusted by what you turned me into.
But it's hard to resist your sight.
Your lips look inviting.
And with every sip I'm drawn into your abyss
I feel the burn and stare into the empty cup..
I now distaste your mouth

On one hand,
You're seeping in
To the most delicate
And untouched parts of my soul,

On the other,
My organs inside
Are like dry rough bark
Anyone who comes near
Is sent away with scratches on their heart,

I want to feel my whole insides become wet,
capable of unconditional love,
But I fear myself.

Many men have tried
to roll like sweet honey into my heart

Once my drunkeness has worn off
Or the initial thrill has dimmed
I scrape them off like a bug from my shoe.

When you look at me it is different,
When you look,
I can feel you seeing inside my soul in a way I can't hide,
Still I try.

I have no abandonment issues,
Or low self esteem,

I am just truly and simply a bird
When I see a cage
I become concerned.

Are we but dream junkies
And all the stars that trail,
In the gloams of milky ways,
But empty islands more for us,
Golden archipelagoes, baubles
Ringing, rounding out heavens'
Wreathing, oceans, nil vastness
To fixate upon from whence we
Once were, by souls' fashioning,
Airy and unrealistic as dear fools'
Child-minded convictions, fables,
Foetal, in smoky amniotic aethers,
Wisps of matter to see unlocked,
Unchained from sparks of nothing,
Wide eyed as supernovae in voids,
As light injects into us such purpose,
Imaginations so neatly dreamed upon,
Once and for all, stories bound in sleepy
Times, or tis more our sole, sun, but one
Dim light in all these unsettled sparklings,
A tapestry which etches our righting eyes,
Into sandy itchings, spiral notches, grains
Ticking us eternal to vested lime beds waiting,
Are we sunk in drunkeness by the overheaded
Skies, fumbling about, numbed, slumbered
In soul rummages?