i.

Brandon and Jane
One heart pumping their blood;
Soulmates, eternal love.

ii.

Brandon and Jane
Names written on alleyway wall's;
Undiscovered by man,
Treasure's of God.

iii.

Brandon and Jane
Revealed for all to seeith;
Manifested to the naked eye
To her I seek to pleaseth.

iv.

Brandon and Jane
Together interconnected glow;
Ourn flower garden is planted
We art the growers of touching soul's.

v.

Brandon and Jane
Mine flesh is her flesh, as tis her's is mine.
Mine pain is her pain, as tis her's is mine.
Mine name is her name
Filipino divine.
A kingdom with an empress
Jane sardua, lady of time.

vi.

Brandon and Jane
Coalesced in sacrosanct lullaby's;
As newborn infant's, and before the age
Of man we were to find. To find one another
In a moment's blinking eye, I kneweth her, tis
She kneweth me, I searched the beaches and thus
The sea's, as I landed in Clarin, Philippines;

vii.

Brandon and Jane
Forever to be,
Resplendent
Symphony's
Of soulmate
Seeds. Together
                            Forever
            scintill­a
                            Serene.



©Brandon Cory Nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Earl Jane dedication ( Filipino rose) poetry

It was the first party she was invited to, she knew that the only reason people wanted her to come was because she was having a fling with one of the popular kids. One of the guys who wore the short shorts and southern tide shirts with his hat flipped backwards. She didn't even like the sight herself, but she had just been broken up with from her previous boyfriend and she was feeling lonely. He came onto her about one month after the break up, it was the middle of summer and he was always around hanging out with her brother. She remembered the time when she first really noticed him, they were picking up her brother from work late and night and she was switching from the driver’s seat to the back seat. She was moving things out of the seat when suddenly her brother pulled forward in the car and the wheel was on top of her foot. She was screaming to the top of her lungs and as Brandon leaped out of the car Andrew finally drove forward and the tire slowly released her foot. Brandon picked her up like a husband picks up his wife when they first get married. He placed her in the seat and untied her shoe trying to relieve the pressure. It was the size of a cantaloupe. She was crying from all the pain and her brother raced home to get her mom. They pulled up beside the house and Brandon came to the side and picked her up again cradled in his arms, he placed her on the couch and sat beside her to wipe away the tears streaming from her face.

Brandon taps her shoulder and she realized she was day dreaming of a better time, he motioned forward to the table and she realized that someone had poured shots. "Great" she thought, "the last thing I want to do is drink ***** with all these people around me." She took one and all the sudden everyone was cheering. Thinking to herself she wanted to get as far from here as possible but she didn't want to be the "loser" everyone thought she was. "You look stunning tonight." Brandon said when he was close to her ear. "Thanks, it's kind of a stupid costume thought don't you think?"
"Not at all, you look nice as a **** Santa." She felt so uncomfortable in that stupid costume, she went shopping two weekends ago to the Halloween store next to the mall. She couldn't decide what to wear so her friend picked out a "**** Santa" costume and said that all the guys would notice her in this. She felt her stomach turn. She didn't want people to notice her but she didn't think she could look at these ridiculous costumes any longer.

I feel so out of place, she thought to herself as the drinking went on and the music was growing louder. I don't belong with these people. Brandon wrapped his hands around her waist and she could smell the alcohol coming from his mouth as he tried to kiss her, he was beyond wasted. "Don't you think you might want to slow down a little bit?" She said to him. "What's wrong, this is a party you should be as drunk as I am." He laughed so loud, if she was deaf she would have been able to hear him. It was past midnight and she was getting sleepy, she figured she needed to slow down so she could actually drive back home. She was staying at her mom’s place so her mom wouldn't care if she came home wasted. Why not right? It's a party. So she drank until the room was spinning and she couldn’t stop giggling. She grabbed the bottle and chugged, “Woah, look who was telling me to slow done, how about yourself?” She laughed, “Well I thought you said I should have fun, this is what fun looks like right?” “Do you want to get out of here?” As soon as the words came out of his mouth she headed for the toilet and threw up whatever she was drinking and the dinner she ate before the party.  Brandon had sobered up overtime and drove her car home to her place, with her head hanging out the window so she didn’t throw up everywhere in her car. He pulled up outside her house and she already knew the words that were going to come out of his mouth, “Can I stay?” She felt her stomach turn to knots, and as she worked up the courage to say yes, she threw up right outside her front door in the bushes. He helped her up the stairs to her room, and she told him he could stay if he wanted. So he did. She wasn’t feeling as dizzy anymore so she finally changed into shorts and a tank top for bed. Brandon was laying in his boxers, and although she liked the sight she wasn’t sure this is what she wanted, but her thoughts were all jumbled together anyways she couldn’t think straight. Laying down, the dizziness came back and her stomach felt uneasy, she didn’t know if it was from the ***** or because an eighteen year old boy was basically naked lying beside her. She wanted to tell him that this was a bad idea and he should just go home but she knew he wouldn’t listen, he never did.

The clock turned to three am, and she felt him push against her, she looked over at him wondering what he was trying to communicate to her, and that’s when she realized he wanted to have ***. All she could think was no. There was no way she was losing her virginity on Halloween night when she’s still drunk and can barely see straight. Her thoughts couldn’t make their way to her mouth. She felt like a mime, only able to speak with her hands, but she couldn’t even move. His hands were now on her stomach forcing down her shorts and underwear. All she could think was no. There wasn’t a sound able to escape her mouth. She was trying to wiggle her way out of his touch but his grip suddenly tightened around her stomach keeping her stationary. Her moved his body on top of her and began forcing himself upon her. Tears were staining her bed sheets but she wasn’t screaming for help, her mouth wouldn’t let her. Instead, she cried silently still trying to break free from his body encaging her like a prison. He forced himself upon her again and kept forcing himself until she started to wail. He acted as if he didn’t hear her. No, this is not what I wanted, this isn’t what was supposed to happen. Why is he doing this? She thought as he pushed harder unto her. He loosened his grasp on her arms and she broke from his prison and ran to the bathroom, there was blood, so much blood. Red marks covered her arms and thighs. She didn’t want to go back in there but she didn’t know what else to do, she waited thirty minutes before entering her room only to realize he was fast asleep. She noticed all the blood on the sheets and just cried herself to sleep.

It was sometime in the early morning when she woke up, and he was gone. She heard someone at the door and shot up wondering if it was him, she peeked out the curtains and let out a sigh, Thank god it’s not him, was all she could think. She walked down the stairs realizing how much her body ached. Opening the door, her best friend walked in and she lost it. She began crying in her friends arms telling her everything that had happened last night and all her friend could do was stand there in shock until she finally stopped crying. “You have to go to the police!” Amber said. “No, Amber I was so drunk and stupid they won’t believe me when I tell them what happened. They will tell me that it wasn’t ****. They will tell me that I didn’t say no!” she cried. “Michelle, if you don’t go to the police your just going to let him get away with this? I told you her was a horrible person and yet you still fell for his stupid tricks and look what happened. He ***** you Michelle, can’t you understand that?” “Yes, I do understand. But I didn’t say no, I didn’t scream to get him off of me I just laid there imprisoned and took it.” She said so quietly it wasn’t even a whisper. “I’m so sorry.” Amber said and she motioned for Michelle to come into her arms for an embrace. “It will be okay.”

School was always humuorous to a degree in my opinion because of the underlying idea
that the more damaged you were, the cooler you were in the eyes of the rest of the school.
I have heard numerous conversations that began with something along the lines of, "Oh, you
think YOU got it bad, well my dad blah blah and my best friend blah blah and my life is hell."

I decided to get a little personal and share with you guys something I have never actually
told anyone in entirety yet. I am pretty sure the whole story is still only here in my brain.
I will, out of respect for these people, change their names.

It's October 31, 2012. It's about noon, and all of us sixteen to twenty-two year olds are just waking up.
Brianne woke up probably a few hours ago already to tend to her son, Aaron. He is adorable, one
and a half, blond hair, blue eyes. I have been living here for nearly two months. I am supporting her,
Aaron, and myself with food stamps. I get two hundred dollars a month to basically smoke **** and drink
on the government's budget. Trust me, I'm not proud of it either, and if I could I would pay it back.
Since Brianne is a single mother and an adopted child, she has a single-digit monthly rent (I was *******
baffled to hear this) and receives support from her foster parents. Basically, if I want to stay here forever
with absolutely no consequences save to miss out on a life of my own, I can.

Brandon is putting on clown make-up so he can troll the streets as a juggalo. I find this amusing as I always
liked to mess around with ICP fans, but he's a really cool kid so I let it go and I even help him perfect it.
I notice he has a bottle of Stolichnaya in his backpack and it's practically full. That, to me, is temptation.
I ask if he would mind me taking a few drinks here and there from the bottle and he says it's fine, so I proceed
to get a nice one p.m. buzz. It was always my favorite drunk, very light, and airy, almost like you're still asleep.
Something bogs you down, but it doesn't bother you, somehow it makes you lighter.

For the rest of the day, we hook up with a few friends, go out and trick or treat in the pouring rain, get soaked
and wait for two hours under an overpass while Brianne goes and gets her car. From there, we proceed home.

At this point, everyone is over at Breanne's and we're all making dinner and drinking beer and having a good time
(Aaron is with the grandparents tonight). I guess I started getting angry about the recent events (for about a month,
everyone in our group with the exception of Brandon have been slowly losing items...but they're obviously being stolen.
At a point, a few of us did some research and determined the only person who could possibly have stolen
a good deal of these things has to be Brandon) and I decided I was tired of sitting on the news waiting for no one to make
a move after a solid two weeks of being certain that we had our guy. So I called him out... and proceeded
to begin burning bridges slowly and very surely for the next few days. I am pretty sure a fight would have broken out
if Bri hadn't taken me into her room to relax. When I finally do, it turns out I woke up the upstairs neighbor,
her baby, and everyone in the house has left save for my friend Jeff and his girlfriend Marissa. This concludes night one.

I later learned that Brandon was not actually the person who was stealing from us (unless of course
he just happened to not get caught when we found out who had done most of it) and I feel bad for bringing the whole
thing up because I would have liked to stay in touch with him. We got along swimmingly and he actually did have
a lot of interesting things to talk about. Smart, nice, hilarious... Well, maybe he'll turn up one day.

The next morning, I woke up to find the house empty save for Jeff and Marissa in the next room, but where I am,
it simply appears empty. I don't know what happened but I intuit that I have been sleeping all night without
my girlfriend. This upsets me and I begin to weep like a confused child, which is exactly what you do when you're
helpless and too drunk in the brain to figure out how to pull yourself out of a helpless situation (trust me,
I own the handbook). Marissa walks in and begins to explain to me that I had scared her too much and she slept
on the couch and that she had left to go pick up her son. So I realize I need to calm down, but I can feel
Jeff is not happy with me in the slightest, considering he will not come and talk to me (this is extremely painful
because he is probably one of the best friends I have ever had, with a mind that vastly exceeds that of everyone
I have met save one other, and he's a different story). They leave and I decide to stay in the house all day.

This is a very bad idea. I stay home, watch re-runs of a show I have seen billions of times, and considering
that Brandon and I are no longer on good terms, like a complete *******, I drink the rest of his *****.

In walks Bri, it's around 7. She's not happy. She proceeds to tell me that the night before I asked out a friend of mine
and she said yes. And I was a bit shocked because I couldn't remember it at first. Then it all hit me.

A few days before, Aaron called me "dad." Now remember, this is not my child. I am dark, dark, dark, and she had this kid
about two years after we had any past relationship. I am extremely worried in my mind and I realize I am headed toward nothing.
That I am stagnant and can not even afford to go back to school. This scares me, so I drunkenly asked out Tanya.

Tanya...we had been friends for about five years, and I had tried to get with her so many **** times... she was like
one of those girls you see and you're instantly reminded of an anime character. Tall, thin, beautiful hips, perfect
proportions, lovely hair, eyes, voice, and a personality I can liken to a Disney princess/black metal lumberjack.
The kind of girl who has a tough exterior, but inside, she just wants someone to tell her everything is going to be ok.

After about two hours of pleading with Bri to let me stay, I finally send Tanya a message, and we hang out for the next
two days, whence I whisper in her ear that everything is going to be okay and we proceed to have quite passionate ***
for those nights, where I discovered the secret to making a woman ****** with my tongue (tip: if the underside of your
tongue isn't completely torn apart, you're doing something wrong). But alas, I could not stay.

This is the part I dreaded, because I know I have to go back to Jeff's house and ask him if I can stay there for a while.
And I got the answer I expected.

The words he used...

"I'm *******...extremely ******* at you, and disappointed." It was like a father saying it to you. And him and I
have a very interesting friendship built on such an extreme understanding that I knew exactly how badly I had been spiraling.
I began to leave and he gave me a slice of pizza, with that slight smile that told me "just go find yourself, we'll be fine."

I hobbled off into the night drunk, with one piece of pizza and all my food at Bri's, which could have lasted me another few days,
easing the transition into homeless. And it could have prevented a horrible occurance that took place the following afternoon. I
was crying, because I knew I was dying, but I didn't want to ask either of my parents for help, because this was the first time
I was out on my own and I was far too proud to give up and let the world make me its victim. So I walked...

Sixteen ******* miles...

To the next town. Took me all night because I was dodging traffic, easing into trees, avoiding on and off ramps, trying to stay
away from any police that may exist on the road. When I finally arrived in the next town (where I knew I may have one contact)
I decided to sleep until the morning came so I could have the energy to find my next venture.

It was five thirty am. I had 3 hours until sun-up, I had just walked enough to be burning, and there was plenty of whiskey in my veins.
I had left my sleeping bag with Tanya hours earlier, wishing in the park that I had not been so naiive as to think I would be allowed
back in the house. So I pulled out a pile of ***** clothes and put them over me like blankets, in some random corner of the local
park, under some bushes, hidden from cold and sight, with great hope...

Fifteen minutes pass. My eyes shoot open. I am freezing. The sweat has dried and frozen to my body. This is hell.

I grab my things and with the worst effort I can ever remember myself mustering, I drag myself to the toilet.
When I open it, the first thing I check for is cleanliness. It's spotless. I am so relieved. I sit in the corner of the room,
which my knees to my chest, head in my hands, wrapped in a leather jacket I had gotten from Jeff (ha, he really is my
guardian angel, though he would laugh to hear it).

I catch winks, occasionally looking up to check if the sun is rising. When it finally is, I get up, change my clothes (I had
ONE clean set of clothing and it had been rotting with the rest in the backpack) and immediately head to a thrift store where
a family friend is working.

On my way there, I notice in a little parking lot near the store a sight I had never actually come across but I always thought
would be the most amazing luck, and it was timed in such a spot in my life that it was the ultimate miracle...and a curse in
disguise.

In front of my eyes (this miracle appeared in my path as I was walking looking down, so it startled me) was the worst possible thing
for me: A half finished fifth of Smirnoff, and a half smoked pack of Marlboro 100 Reds. I open the pack and sure enough, the celophane
protected every cigarette inside from any water damage. I am ecstatic. This is not only amazing, but highly unlikely.

So I down the bottle in one go and take the rest of the smokes with me.

When I arrive at the thrift shop, it turns out I am there on a day when my potential savior is not working, so I get her number from the clerk
and head over to a payphone and realize... I have no money. So I decide to go on a quest for dropped pocket change.

Before I even leave the parking lot, I see a young man, no older than 23, sitting on a nice red classic-style Corvette and he's
reading William S. Burroughs. So naturally, I decide to strike up a conversation with the young man. Turns out he's the nicest guy
and his name is Jordan. So him and I got together and decided to go out for a game of disc golf (some may not know what this is;
Imagine frisbee but with a golf theme, so you need to get from a tee pad into a basket. Really fun, centering, and extremely popular
with potheads, Californians, beer-drinkers, and hippies) and before we go, he asks if I would like to snag a few beers first.

I tell him a piece of my story and he can tell I am down on my luck and broke so he decides to help me out. He buys us both some beer
and we proceed to disk.

Turns out he's an ex-****** and has been through quite a bit of hell himself, so we find that we're in a good position to help each
other make some better decisions in life. After the game, we go over to a payphone and he gives me money to call my friend.

Buzz (this the only name I am not changing because her name is ******* badass) answers the phone and unfortunately informs me that
though she would take me in any day of the year, she just moved in to a house with one older lady she takes care of, and its a single
bedroom apartment, so there is just no way it can work.

So I go back to his car and tell him the news, and he says he thinks he may be able to put me up for a few days until I can sort
everything out. We go back out to the store and grab ourselves a fifth of *****.

We end up in the park playing music, talking, performing standup for one another, and I begin to realize I am drinking too fast,
so I try to ease back a little. He was playing a version of a Radiohead song I had never heard before

"Everyone this way. Okay, get your hands against the wall. Spread your legs. Don't move."
The doors clanking, some ******* won't shut up in the next cell over.
More slamming of doors, someone rubbing my body all over trying to find my knives, no doubt.
And my AK 47 I conceal, and my ****, and my ... oh ****, I really did have **** on me.

"Move forward. Turn around. Alright, go to bed."

----------------------------------------------------------­---------------------

"Get up. Come on, slowly... There you go. There's a few more coming in so we got to get you to another cell."

Clank, clank...

"Pick a bed."

----------------------------------------------------------­---------------------

Something is wrong. This bed is not covered. There is no comfort. It's just a mat. And I have no pillow. This is not a house
of any sort, my bag isnt what I am sleeping on. Something is very wrong here.

I am in jail. Oh of course.

I know the answer before I hear it, but I ask anyway: "What are my charges, ma'am?"

"Drunk in public."

-------------------------------------------------------­------------------------

I'm about thirty miles or so North of inner Seattle. Not a bad place to be. I'm working for a Safeway. It's somewhere around
the first of June. I receive word that Bri has been on ******. And I may have left at a crucial time in her life thinking
only of myself, but I needed to go somewhere I could be productive. Yet my decision left her in a position where she turned
to hard drugs...

I can't help but feel I am to blame. I am listening to the dull, stupid words of my ex boss, Rod, who is telling me
that even though I may feel like I need to help her, there is nothing I can do for her, so I should bury myself in my work
instead. He tells me this in about six hundred different ways before I leave the room after twenty minutes. Well great.
I may have no focus here at work today, but at least I killed almost a half hour of the day just listening to someone
*******.

I am at a loss of what to do here, but I eventually get a hold of her, and after a long time not talking, we come to
somewhat of a closure, and she is beginning to sober up herself. I realize we were both in incredibly hard times, and I still
wish with all my heart there could have been some way I could have helped her raise that boy and stayed and been her
love, and at the same time, still go to college, and progress and get a good job...but I was in a small Northern California
town. There was nothing left, all the old shops were out of business. It was time for me to move on then, and we have
all seen better days for it. She looks incredible these days by the way. She lost an insane amount of weight, and I know
a lot of it had to do with the drugs, but if she truly is sober like she says she is, she'll be getting much better.

A few weeks ago 3 people I used to know and hang out with died in the span of a week. It was a terrible tragedy, and I have been
thinking back on all the names of people I used to love very, very much before they got lost in some way.

There's Lorne Holly, who killed himself after a few weeks of detoxing from crank.

Layla Harmon, who died in a car crash, blunt head trauma, with a drunk driver (I have a tattoo for this, I will never drive drunk).

Heavy Eagle, who killed himself after years of drug problems.

Chaz Lipman, who died in a car crash as well.

Ren Rain, who I am still not sure about...

And of course, Tray Beraldi, who was my closest friend's cousin... I wish I were there to mourne with him...

Last night I got a text from my best friend, who said he couldn't sleep and he barely eats anything anymore, and he feels like his throat
is going to explode, and he cant swallow and his neck is killing him constantly. He has been this way for a year, and he is talking constantly
about getting a gun and blowing his head off. And no one believes him because he constantly talks about it because he is in so much pain.
No doctor can diagnose him so far, he has no idea what's wrong with him, he's been tested all over the place, he has no hope, he's barely
cligning and he doesn't know how much longer he can hold on.

All I really want to say is

Lord? What I have done? I don't pray, I never pray, I don't even know who I would pray to. But WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO?!

I bring myself across hell and I pull myself from the worst depression I h

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Brandon the boy in the bubble and Doctor Wise...

The boy in the bubble
Never wanted any trouble

People said "your too fragile you'll get cancer"
So he would just make believe, pretend he was a cool agile panther
People said "your body will crumble like wood flooring rots"
So he would pretend, staying humble that he could fly over the jungle with soaring hawks

Aisles of adventures were all he sought
" I'll be in this bubble til I'm wearin' dentures", so he thought...

His doctor would come every other day
Just to make sure everything was okay
He went by Dr. "W" first initial J

One random paralyzed tuesday
Brandon sat in his sterilized room lettin' blues play
The doctor came to repeat the check up
Brandon was the same from shoulders to feet and neat from the neck up
The doctor asked "Son why are you in this bubble?"
Brandon said "The people told me the air could **** me and the sun would be worst trouble"
The doctor told Brandon "the world is a mysterious place in our galaxy, but you'll never know for yourself until you go face the challenge B"

The doctor lifted the window wide open and let in the breeze
As the fresh air hit his face, Brandon didn't so much as sneeze

Brandon - "Wow doc you must save thousands of lives"

Dr. W - "Not really, I just tell people this; Everybody lives, everybody smiles, everybody cries, everybody dies and

EEEEVVVVERYBODY LIES...

-J.A.M

Dear Mrs. Nagley

Oh my dearest mother-in-law,
Did Brandon my king write you?
I am in my utmost state of agitation,
I don’t know what to do, I’m going “non compos mentis”.


Did he left a letter for me before he go?
He said he’ll be in my arms for less than a week,
Oh my goodness it’s been more than 2 weeks!
Oh, this throe is burying me alive in my grave.


Mother-in-law, Oh, mother-in-law,
I am in extreme dejection,
Oh where is my soulmate, my king, my all?
Where is he, please tell me where is he.


Please assure me nothing bad happened,
Oh this eyes shed bucket of tears,
They’re swollen and I am so weary,
Please mother-in-law, tell me what’s going on.

Sincerely your daughter-in-law
Earl Jane Nagley
September 27th, 1876



(Mrs. Nagley's response letter)

Dearest daughter in law Jane........

He left over two week's ago, didst he not correspond?
Mineself either hath no way to knoweth;
I'm worried mineself, me and his father,
We hast not heard one word from ourn son, dearest daughter.

Do not fret Jane, maby mine son's cruise ship is late
If he doth get there, telleth him to write his mum;
I'm crying now from this stress, there art no word's to calm,
Me and his father heard a storm was coming in, I'm anxious.

We need to hath faith mine son wilt maketh it.
Maby the captain's running late, maby the ocean's shaking;
Mine baby is strong, as I prayest he mayest hold on to the thunderous lightning that's hitting the dawn, I want mine son.

Im on mine knee's now, begging God to bringeth him to thee
If he dost not maketh it to thee Jane, mine daughter and sweet;
I wouldst not knoweth what to do without thy king, mine son!
I'm beseeching Yahweh's mercy, mayest god protect his ship run.

Your Mother in law, Juna Nagley............
October 9th, 1876


ONE WEEK LATER MRS. NAGLEY WRITES ONE LAST LETTER TO HER DAUGHTER IN LAW JANE NAGLEY ON THE NEWS OF BRANDON........


Dearest daughter in law Jane.........

Me and mine husband hath received news on mine son, and thine king, I'm heartbroken to telleth thee, but the ship succumbed to the storm's ferocious sting; I prayed and begged to god, yet mine son no longer couldst cling, he passed at twenty-seven. The front half of the vessel broke into many pieces, the lightning struck the sail as tis all the men were flung west and east: Mine baby found some wood to grasp onto, though shark's were around, as ******* they made there move. He was taken by the man-eater's and sunk into the deep blue. O' how saddened I am, O' how I miss mine son, this ****'s mine soul and break's me in ways more than one...... Here is the letter mine son left when they found him floating by the blood of his vest.
Sincerely mom ...
October 16, 1876

( Brandon's letter to his wife Jane Nagley)

Dear amour', I canst not write thee much, mine limbs art bleeding out from the shark bites and cuts. Mine ship went down, as tis this is God's will, please if thou shalt get this letter please knoweth thou art mine queen, mine body shalt be renewed in the presence of the Lord's feet; thou art not losing me, remember? No goodbye's, if I'm to goeth now and if I'm to die, smileth for me lass, drieth thine eye's; I'll meeteth thee in the third celestial, i'll meet thee there.... By the pearly gate's. On cloud nine.

Thy king and soulmate, always and forever

Brandon Cory nagley........
September 23rd, 1876........




©Brandon nagley \Earl Jane Nagley duo
©Lonesome poets poetry
©Hari-reyna incorporated

Brandon,

To see you grow up and turn into the man you are is a gift... A young man, smart, kind, thoughtful to others. I have no criticisms to offer you in regards to the path and choices you have taken and made. I feel swelling pride for you as I write this and cannot wait to see and hear the adventures you will embark on in your life.

Having you as my cousin touches me and reminds me that I have an impact on the world, and for as long as you have looked up to me as your older cousin, I will always feel a sense of responsibility and caring for you, invigorating in purpose, which helps craft the home in my heart. Seeing time pass as sand in an hour glass, I can only glance in retrospect and see the years and times as a family you have shared with us; if it were a scoreboard, a test, the sum of all of your actions: a resounding win or success story on all counts. You are a gift to those around you and your happiness and caring will change this world for the better as it already has changed mine. Thank you for being my cousin, but more so for being the person you always are. You are a blessing and a light. Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise or believe differently...

To end my letter to you, I will leave you with this: I can't wait to grow old and share more time with you; to go fishing, to go camping, to carry on our family's traditions and dinners which are so special among families, to share this chance to be alive and breathing, and to share our hearts with others. Go forth Brandon. Go forth and share your love with the world. Light your torch and burn it. I love you Brandon.

Your Cousin,
-Kevin

"My king"
Ohh my precious king,
How I hunger for your touch,
How I long for your fingers brushing through my hair til I fall asleep, How I long to hold your hands and hold it tight,
I will never let you go,
How I long to engulf you,
Feel your heartbeat as I lay my head on your chest,
Lift my head and look at you,
Looking at each other's eyes,
Be in trance, Ohhh how wondrous!
And I will go near you and will kiss you,
Ohh i will kiss you for eternity my love,
I will never stop, Your breath will be my air and as mine to you,
Ohh my king I will never ever let any time to be in waste,
I will indulge every single second with you,
I will cherish it and memorize every time I spend with you,
And every night in my sleep, I will replay those memories and savor it, i don't want the time to go on,
I want it to stop and just enjoy every moment with you forevermore.

Ohh my precious king,
Can you feel my deep yearning?
Ohh how my pillow wet from my tears of missing you, i desire you, I miss your voice,
Your voice is my music,
I miss your laugh,
Your laugh is my sunshine,
You lighten up my life,
I miss your songs,
Your songs are my nourishment,
You always fill me with your love,
My empty cup runs over with your love,
I miss looking at your angelic face,
I miss YOU, YOU!
How I really ache to be beside you,
No more video chatting, no more phone calls, no more voice clips, no more singing songs over internet, no more technologies,
Ohhh i just wanna enjoy you,
Be alone in a forest,
Enjoy the wonderful nature our God has given us,
Live a simple life with you,
Away from all troubles,
I WANNA BE WITH YOU!
I only want to be with you!
I need to be with you!
I never dreamed life without you,
You are my life,
My future,
I can't go on with my life without you.
I can't, i just can't !

My brandon,
Soon when I see you,
Even before you ask me I will say "I do",
I want us to have God's heavenly seal,
A bond infrangible,
I wanna spend my entire life with you,
And for eternity in that heavenly realm,
I wanna serve God with you,
I wanna be a godly woman for you,
I wanna enjoy my life with you,
With God as our guide and refuge,
Ohh my king,
No words can express how I long to be only just with you,
Only YOU,
You are my life,
My breath,
My very best friend,
My soulmate,
My preordained,
My husband,
My ALL.
You are to me.
Ohh how i yearn for you,
This throe is so hard to bear,
But I will my love,
Because only you are there in my future,
Only you in my dream,
I will certainly & patiently wait til God's perfect time.
'Cause you are my only love, my chosen one,
And I want you, I need you, I long for you, and I love you.*

"Mine queen"
"Mine Reyna, O' darling Reyna,
As the sun doth ariseth in the east
And set in the west; thy heart wilt
Be in mine palm's, as a baby in caress.
Best of amour, the best is yet, for when
We meet, ourn lip's wilt be wet.
Wet with kisses of the morning
Celestial dew, O' heaven's much
Better, when it's thee with me;
I with thou to. Queen how I long
The approaching hour, when we
Shalt be warmed by Glowing
Angel's within their hand's-
Testimonies of God and his
Unending love, and his throne
Of power. In pearl attire, view of the mountain's
Unknown, mine lass, mine lady, I shalt embrace thy
Lonesome bones. None earphones needed, for we'll heareth
All to hear, we'll seeith creatures only the creator's aware, of the majestic being's of beauty. Hold me, closer mine Jane; lock me up into your Filipino rose Bud's, I want to drink of thine love, I want to taste thy nectar's touch. Mine chosen meed, thy hair of satin wilt I smell it's world to breathe. In and out I fulfill the seed's of prophecy, in ancient manner. Across ourn foreheads Yahweh's name, inside ourn spirit's the word's the same. The word's to read "preordained", unafraid to a venture new. Coconut queen of tribal moves, baby flower of romantic brew. O' indeed I needeth thee, just come closer and be, as one we art. We shalt giggle in streams wherein the night is nought, love can't be bought, nor sold in form, love is god, god is love; with one another, we shalt overcome. Seraph's, cherub's, and messenger's surround us. For we art preordained, O' with thee I'm verily blessed. O' with thee Jane mine love, I've been given the best.


© Earl Jane - Brandon Collaborations
♥ Lovers Incorporated

Oh fair Milly Brandon, a young maid, a fair maid!
  All her curls are yellow and her eyes are blue,
And her cheeks were rosy red till a secret care made
  Hollow whiteness of their brightness as a care will do.

Still she tends her flowers, but not as in the old days,
  Still she sings her songs, but not the songs of old:
If now it be high Summer her days seem brief and cold days,
  If now it be high Summer her nights are long and cold.

If you have a secret keep it, pure maid Milly;
  Life is filled with troubles and the world with scorn;
And pity without love is at best times hard and chilly,
  Chilling sore and stinging sore a heart forlorn.

Walter Brandon, do you guess Milly Brandon's secret?
  Many things you know, but not everything,
With your locks like raven's plumage, and eyes like an egret,
  And a laugh that is music, and such a voice to sing.

Nelly Knollys, she is fair, but she is not fairer
  Than fairest Milly Brandon was before she turned so pale:
Oh, but Nelly's dearer if she be not rarer,
  She need not keep a secret or blush behind a veil.

Beyond the first green hills, beyond the nearest valleys,
  Nelly dwells at home beneath her mother's eyes:
Her home is neat and homely, not a cot and not a palace,
  Just the home where love sets up his happiest memories.

Milly has no mother; and sad beyond another
  Is she whose blessed mother is vanished out of call:
Truly comfort beyond comfort is stored up in a mother
  Who bears with all, and hopes through all, and loves us all.

Where peacocks nod and flaunt up and down the terrace,
  Furling and unfurling their scores of sightless eyes,
To and fro among the leaves and buds and flowers and berries
  Maiden Milly strolls and pauses, smiles and sighs.

On the hedged-in terrace of her father's palace
  She may stroll and muse alone, may smile or sigh alone,
Letting thoughts and eyes go wandering over hills and valleys
  To-day her father's, and one day to be all her own.

If her thoughts go coursing down lowlands and up highlands,
  It is because the startled game are leaping from their lair;
If her thoughts dart homeward to the reedy river islands,
  It is because the waterfowl rise startled here or there.

At length a footfall on the steps: she turns, composed and steady,
  All the long-descended greatness of her father's house
Lifting up her head; and there stands Walter keen and ready
  For hunting or for hawking, a flush upon his brows.

"Good-morrow, fair cousin." "Good-morrow, fairest cousin:
  The sun has started on his course, and I must start to-day.
If you have done me one good turn you've done me many a dozen,
  And I shall often think of you, think of you away."

"Over hill and hollow what quarry will you follow,
  Or what fish will you angle for beside the river's edge?
There's cloud upon the hill-top and there 's mist deep down the hollow,
  And fog among the rushes and the rustling sedge."

"I shall speed well enough be it hunting or hawking,
  Or casting a bait towards the shyest daintiest fin.
But I kiss your hands, my cousin; I must not loiter talking,
  For nothing comes of nothing, and I'm fain to seek and win."

"Here's a thorny rose: will you wear it an hour,
  Till the petals drop apart still fresh and pink and sweet?
Till the petals drop from the drooping perished flower,
  And only the graceless thorns are left of it."

"Nay, I have another rose sprung in another garden,
  Another rose which sweetens all the world for me.
Be you a tenderer mistress and be you a warier warden
  Of your rose, as sweet as mine, and full as fair to see."

"Nay, a bud once plucked there is no reviving,
  Nor is it worth your wearing now, nor worth indeed my own;
The dead to the dead, and the living to the living.
  It's time I go within, for it's time now you were gone."

"Good-bye, Milly Brandon, I shall not forget you,
  Though it be good-bye between us for ever from to-day;
I could almost wish to-day that I had never met you,
  And I'm true to you in this one word that I say."

"Good-bye, Walter. I can guess which thornless rose you covet;
  Long may it bloom and prolong its sunny morn:
Yet as for my one thorny rose, I do not cease to love it,
  And if it is no more a flower I love it as a thorn."