One day
Woke up feeling randy
No one else was handy
What's to do?
Get dressed
Satisfy the horn
With badly acted ****
On pay per view
Hopes sink
Cable's on the blink
But twitter lends a helping hand
Bang, bang, come and have a *******
Gain entrance on demand

Have a *******
Come and have a *******
It's a *******
Come and have a *******

Went out
Followed the directions
Battling erections
All the while
Red cheeks
Granny at the bus stop
Let her vision drop
Then cracked a smile
Half four
Knocking at the door
It opens and a voice proclaims
"Bang, bang, come and have a *******
We've far too many dames"

The host was a sight to see
Not far over seventy
And wrapped in a silk dressing gown
I thought I would walk away
But saw that the sky was grey
And it star-
-ted *******
It down

Stepped in
Blinded by a deep gloom
Ushered to a dark room
Curtains shut
Deep breath
Air is old and musty
Carpet feeling crusty
Underfoot
Sprawled there
Women lying bare
And fellas with their organs free
Bang, bang, cover up your ****, ****
Regain your decency

Pretty *******
Pretty ****** *******
****** *******
Pretty ****** *******

Look round
Writhing on the ground
With squishy little sounds
But something's odd
Fat lass
Itching at her *** crack
Isn't that a *******?
Oh my god!
Jaw drops
Granny from the bus stop
Wearing nothing but a grin
Bang, bang, pretty ****** *******
What ******* let her in?

She's nothing but skin and bone
With ribs like a xylophone
At least several decades too old
To use the vernacular
It's like bumming Dracula
She's wiry
She's wizened
She's cold

Oh (pretty) no (******)
Rasping on my ****
With fingers like a sock
Filled up with ice
No (scary) chance (hairy)
Giving her the slip
My todger's in a grip
Just like a vice
It (saggy) seems (baggy)
Like she's in a dream
While scraping with her ancient hand
Bang, bang, ****** ****** *******
My sore and swollen gland

Granny bang bang
Granny granny *******
Granny *******
Granny ***** *******

Knock, knock
Coppers at the door
Go crawling on the floor
And off at speed
What fun
Looking at the punters
Myriad of munters
As they flee'd
Cold, wet
Drowning in regret
With trousers round my knees I stand
Bang bang ****** ****** *******
Next time I'll use my hand
Bang bang ****** ****** *******
Next time I'll use my haaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com  
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

                                     ­   The Lawnmower Man

He came at last, with pickup truck and tools
And for some two hours there was hammering:
Bang! Bang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! (Dang!)
(Dang!) Bang! Bang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang!

And then he went to the store for a bigger hammer:
Bang! Bang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! (Dang!)
(Dang!) Bang! Bang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Clang! Bang! (Dang!)

Heat, humidity, grease, the wrong wrench
The grease gun’s empty, the wrong hex key
Dead battery, no brake spring, maybe next week

The evening was concluded with a lecture
On the infallibility of Donald Trump

By: Cedric McClester

Bang bang
***** die slow
There’s more to hip hop
Than that ya know
It’s more than the bling
Some ****** show
More than the cribs
The cars or the dough
The culture’s diverse
And you need to know
It’s more than the **** shakin
You’ll always see
On certain shows
On the cable TV
It’s more than the dissin
The fights and braggin rights

Bang bang
***** die slow
I’m only sayin
What ya already know

Bang bang
***** die slow
We’re checkin for content
As well as for flow
You’re pimpin the game
And the homies know
You’re talkin ‘bout places
That you’ll never go
Talkin ‘bout crimes
You never committed
And it’s about time
To fess-up and admit it
Here is the deal
You need to yield
Cos it’s gettin too real
In the field

Bang bang
***** die slow
I’m only sayin
What ya already know

Bang bang
***** die slow
Ya namean
Let me give ya the low
Some name themselves
After I-talian criminals
Sending public messages
That attacks the subliminal
Then start complainin
Once they get popped
And the uninformed
Blame it on hip hop
And it’s not fair
That hip hop takes the blame
For some of you out there
That I could name

Bang bang
***** die slow
I’m only sayin
What ya already know

Bang bang
***** die slow
It’s about to be a rap
For the rap game (yo)
Rap is spiralin further
Out of control
And the government now
Sees itself in the role
Of overseer or regulator
Ya knew it would happen
Sooner or later
If you go on trial
You won’t be around
That’s their way of keepin
The Black man down
All you have to do is jus look around

Bang bang
***** die slow
I’m only sayin
What ya already know

Bang bang
***** die slow
All it takes for you to be
Good to go
Is a mouth full of platinum
And a video **
There’s more to life
Than that you know
Don’t let me be the one
To say I told you so
Cos the seeds you’re plantin
Are kinda rough to ***
But you’re convinced
That you are it
And a ****** like me
Can’t tell you ****

Bang bang
***** die slow
I’m only sayin
What ya already know

Bang bang
***** die slow
There’s more to hip hop
Than that ya know
It’s more than the bling
Some ****** show
More than the cribs
The cars or the dough
The culture’s diverse
And you need to know
It’s more than the **** shakin
You’ll always see
On certain shows
On the cable TV
It’s more than the dissin
The fights and braggin rights


(c) Copyright, 2015 Cedric McClester.  All rights reserved.

**** **** Bang Bang
I'm a soldier without a rang

**** **** Bang Bang
I don't even have a gang

**** **** Bang Bang
I'll have to catch the new slang

**** **** Bang Bang
Am I ever gonna get the hang

**** **** Bang Bang
I have to find my yin-yang

**** **** Bang Bang
Why am I going mad?

**** **** Bang Bang
Why am I feeling bad?

**** **** Bang Bang
I don't want my feathers shed

**** **** Bang Bang
I have told I have said

**** **** Bang Bang
I'm alive but she is dead

Bang Bang Bang
The only thing I can hear

Bang Bang Bang
The sound that you left me

Bang Bang Bang
Where your hand met my face

Bang Bang Bang
All the emotions disappeared

Bang Bang Bang
One more time

Bang Bang Bang
For the last time

We were young when we were friends.
Always used to play pretend.
I was a cop. He was a crook.
Never did things by the book.

Bang bang, he shot me down.
Bang bang, I hit the ground.
Bang bang, that awful sound.
Bang bang, my buddy shot me down.

It was us against the crowd, But time passed, parted us like clouds.
I fit in. He wasn't allowed.
He looked for help, I didn't make a sound.

Bang bang, I shot him down.
Bang bang, He hit the ground.
Bang bang, That awful sound.
Bang bang , I shot my buddy down.

Festering wounds don't heal quick.
I heard something that made me sick.
Screams echoing through the corridor.
He loaded up, kicked down the door.
I don't thing we're friends anymore.

Bang bang, he shot me down.
Bang bang, I hit the ground.
Bang bang, that awful sound.
Bang bang, my buddy shot me down.