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Chandigarh
Only dreams, dreams have the power, To make a person devil or Knight
Poems
Nicholas Mercier Coulombe
Jul 2015
Thank you for Matching the Tinder Call Center. My name is Nick and I will be helping you with your order today. And your name is?
Hi, (Tinder Match). I'm so glad you called because you do qualify as one of the first 100 people I find attractive!
So Where are you from?
Oh Wow, I've never been there, you ever Been to Portland Maine?
No? Well look at that, I guess we've never been too each others places before.
Haha.
Looks like we have something in common.
What was it on my profile that got you interested in swiping right?
Oh I see, you liked the beard and
my addiction to Netflix.
How long have you been interested in that?
Wow that's a long time.
you really enjoyed the Office.
What else have you tried to build a good relationship?
Yeah, that must be frustrating.
They seem like a real bad guy.
What's the worst part about dealing with that?
I see, that must be really hard.
Tell me a little bit about why it's so important for you to do something about this now; it's a little different for everyone.
I see, you can't love anymore because he broke your heart.
You don't want anything serious right now.
Do you prefer coffee or tea?
you're right, Yerba Mate is fantastic with maple syrup.
What's your favorite meal of the day?
Yeah, breakfast is amazing.
What kind of music do you like?
Twenty One Pilots saved your life? that's Unbelievable.
what does your bedroom look like?
Covered in artwork and paper lanerns?
You know, (tinder match). I can't wait for you to start seeing me, and feeling Happy.
As my profile states,
I am a Geeky, Confident, Charismatic Optimist who likes to wake up next to people, Watch Netflix, and sing to himself almost always.
And that sounds great doesn't it?
Just imagine how wonderful it will feel when you're able to Sit down in Dobra tea. Pass back and fourth our Yerbe Matte Ahumado.
Then go belt out lyrics to Twenty One Pilots in my car on the way back to your place,
have amazing *** under your paper lanterns and wake up the next day to me making you breakfast.
And THAT'S really why you swiped right today, isn't it (Tinder match)?
Excellent! Let's get you started!
As you heard, I've put together a Special Date, with the free Tea. A serenade and car ride. And an extra free second date when you try this First One for just your body. Plus, since you're one of the people I find attractive, I'm gonna throw in a Third date. so you get three, for the price of one! And remember that dating me is risk-free because it's backed by my 30-day Text you back guarentee.
So what's the best number I can reach you at?
I understand your hesitation, (tinder match). When we first started talking you had said you'd been dealing with bad relationships for a long time right? Once you start seeing me you'll see an increase in happiness within the first two dates. And if you never have to worry about being sad again, you'd say it was worth trying wouldn't you?
Right! So what's your snapchat username?
Perfect, and your Cell phone number?
Alright, and a day you're free?
And what's a good time to meet?
Awesome, okay (Tinder Match). And I'm also told to inform you of our special super saver package today. You'll get to go out on a date with me, and my friend Sally for the same low price of just your body. Imagine what it'd be like experiencing the both of us at the same time! Scientists have proven that polyamorous relationships are more happy, more healthy, and result in less overall stress. Which is really what you're looking for isn't it?
Great so I'll just have her tag along alright?
Perfect.
Thank you very much and just to confirm, I'll see you on Wednesday at 12:00pm at Dobra Tea, alright?
Alright have a nice day (Tinder Match.)
Buh bye.
Hi, (Tinder Match). I'm so glad you called because you do qualify as one of the first 100 people I find attractive!
So Where are you from?
Oh Wow, I've never been there, you ever Been to Portland Maine?
No? Well look at that, I guess we've never been too each others places before.
Haha.
Looks like we have something in common.
What was it on my profile that got you interested in swiping right?
Oh I see, you liked the beard and
my addiction to Netflix.
How long have you been interested in that?
Wow that's a long time.
you really enjoyed the Office.
What else have you tried to build a good relationship?
Yeah, that must be frustrating.
They seem like a real bad guy.
What's the worst part about dealing with that?
I see, that must be really hard.
Tell me a little bit about why it's so important for you to do something about this now; it's a little different for everyone.
I see, you can't love anymore because he broke your heart.
You don't want anything serious right now.
Do you prefer coffee or tea?
you're right, Yerba Mate is fantastic with maple syrup.
What's your favorite meal of the day?
Yeah, breakfast is amazing.
What kind of music do you like?
Twenty One Pilots saved your life? that's Unbelievable.
what does your bedroom look like?
Covered in artwork and paper lanerns?
You know, (tinder match). I can't wait for you to start seeing me, and feeling Happy.
As my profile states,
I am a Geeky, Confident, Charismatic Optimist who likes to wake up next to people, Watch Netflix, and sing to himself almost always.
And that sounds great doesn't it?
Just imagine how wonderful it will feel when you're able to Sit down in Dobra tea. Pass back and fourth our Yerbe Matte Ahumado.
Then go belt out lyrics to Twenty One Pilots in my car on the way back to your place,
have amazing *** under your paper lanterns and wake up the next day to me making you breakfast.
And THAT'S really why you swiped right today, isn't it (Tinder match)?
Excellent! Let's get you started!
As you heard, I've put together a Special Date, with the free Tea. A serenade and car ride. And an extra free second date when you try this First One for just your body. Plus, since you're one of the people I find attractive, I'm gonna throw in a Third date. so you get three, for the price of one! And remember that dating me is risk-free because it's backed by my 30-day Text you back guarentee.
So what's the best number I can reach you at?
I understand your hesitation, (tinder match). When we first started talking you had said you'd been dealing with bad relationships for a long time right? Once you start seeing me you'll see an increase in happiness within the first two dates. And if you never have to worry about being sad again, you'd say it was worth trying wouldn't you?
Right! So what's your snapchat username?
Perfect, and your Cell phone number?
Alright, and a day you're free?
And what's a good time to meet?
Awesome, okay (Tinder Match). And I'm also told to inform you of our special super saver package today. You'll get to go out on a date with me, and my friend Sally for the same low price of just your body. Imagine what it'd be like experiencing the both of us at the same time! Scientists have proven that polyamorous relationships are more happy, more healthy, and result in less overall stress. Which is really what you're looking for isn't it?
Great so I'll just have her tag along alright?
Perfect.
Thank you very much and just to confirm, I'll see you on Wednesday at 12:00pm at Dobra Tea, alright?
Alright have a nice day (Tinder Match.)
Buh bye.
I started working at a call center and thought this was too perfect not to make.
Aaron LaLux Feb 2018
Tinder Winner!
Aaron LaLux
Feb 2018
Met a ******* Tinder,
fck it we’re all Winners,
not thirsty but I’m starvin’,
so baby tell me what’s for dinner,
what’s in the oven where’s the lovin’,
give it all to me raw no apologies no filter,
it’s V-Day I’m as depressed as I am on my B-Day,
still giving you raw lines uncut with no filler,
and yeah Love gives life,
but she’s also a killer,
stupid Cupid’s got me dreaming lucid,
still I feel salty as a Biblical pillar,
like Lot’s wife in that one verse,
in Genesis 19,
yeah I guess lots is how much love hurts,
get healed then hurt again,
kinda like my life on Tinder,
swipe left swipe left swipe right,
kinda like Duck Duck Goose or Musical Chairs,
not looking for a lifetime just looking for a night,
a temporary solution to a permanent problem,
some foreign aid in the form of a band-aid on my bleeding heart,
can’t fix the problem but sure can relief the symptoms,
at least for the night when we forget this earth and get lost in the stars,
so I’m searching,
swiping on that Tinder app,
hoping to find true love,
or at least something that resembles that,
because my hearts got some holes,
and I’m hoping someone can fill them,
like my souls got some demons,
and I’m hoping someone can **** them,
what’s happened to society,
and how’d we all get so lonely,
especially in the age of social networking,
everything seems superficial even this poem feels phony,
like when I get liked on Tinder,
and I reply with “We matched want to meet up”,
and I pretend I’m fine with no worries,
when really I’m feeling totally beat up,
Jesus,
don’t know if I can come step back from this ledge,
feeling frozen paralyzed like a bad app,
when you can’t scroll so you just refresh,
and get a whole new lists or prospects,
a whole new set of potential matches,
another chance to build something grand,
out of the burned past and all it’s ashes,
and that’s when,
I come back to the present,
now where were we oh yeah,
it was Valentine’s Day and I was on Tinder again…
Met a ******* Tinder,
fck it we’re all Winners,
not thirsty but I’m starvin’,
so baby tell me what’s for dinner,
what’s in the oven where’s the lovin’,
give it all to me raw no apologies no filter,
it’s V-Day I’m as depressed as I am on my B-Day,
still giving you raw lines uncut with no filler…
∆ LaLux ∆
The New Book Is FREE Here: https://www.scribd.com/document/367036005/The-Sydney-Sessions-12-Steps
fck it we’re all Winners,
not thirsty but I’m starvin’,
so baby tell me what’s for dinner,
what’s in the oven where’s the lovin’,
give it all to me raw no apologies no filter,
it’s V-Day I’m as depressed as I am on my B-Day,
still giving you raw lines uncut with no filler,
and yeah Love gives life,
but she’s also a killer,
stupid Cupid’s got me dreaming lucid,
still I feel salty as a Biblical pillar,
like Lot’s wife in that one verse,
in Genesis 19,
yeah I guess lots is how much love hurts,
get healed then hurt again,
kinda like my life on Tinder,
swipe left swipe left swipe right,
kinda like Duck Duck Goose or Musical Chairs,
not looking for a lifetime just looking for a night,
a temporary solution to a permanent problem,
some foreign aid in the form of a band-aid on my bleeding heart,
can’t fix the problem but sure can relief the symptoms,
at least for the night when we forget this earth and get lost in the stars,
so I’m searching,
swiping on that Tinder app,
hoping to find true love,
or at least something that resembles that,
because my hearts got some holes,
and I’m hoping someone can fill them,
like my souls got some demons,
and I’m hoping someone can **** them,
what’s happened to society,
and how’d we all get so lonely,
especially in the age of social networking,
everything seems superficial even this poem feels phony,
like when I get liked on Tinder,
and I reply with “We matched want to meet up”,
and I pretend I’m fine with no worries,
when really I’m feeling totally beat up,
Jesus,
don’t know if I can come step back from this ledge,
feeling frozen paralyzed like a bad app,
when you can’t scroll so you just refresh,
and get a whole new lists or prospects,
a whole new set of potential matches,
another chance to build something grand,
out of the burned past and all it’s ashes,
and that’s when,
I come back to the present,
now where were we oh yeah,
it was Valentine’s Day and I was on Tinder again…
Met a ******* Tinder,
fck it we’re all Winners,
not thirsty but I’m starvin’,
so baby tell me what’s for dinner,
what’s in the oven where’s the lovin’,
give it all to me raw no apologies no filter,
it’s V-Day I’m as depressed as I am on my B-Day,
still giving you raw lines uncut with no filler…
∆ LaLux ∆
The New Book Is FREE Here: https://www.scribd.com/document/367036005/The-Sydney-Sessions-12-Steps
Nellie 55
Jan 2021
Don't trust Tinder, Never found a winner
She's a Only Fans beginner
But us men have compliments but we're a Thirsty sinner
Just false hope and a haunted app full of ghost
Thirsty Only Fans and stupid *******
Tinder never felt right so I left
Super liked my own business
What's a commitment?
Tinder has always been a joke
Caused me to be broke
I've so paid for the gold and found some Diggers
Full of preps and Only Fan strippers
You swiped right and then left
Account deleted for the 30th time
My ******* pays every dime
Tinder gold, one real joke, I'm hopping off Tinder boat, I've got my life jacket and off to land
Tinder so fake like you don't understand
She's a Only Fans beginner
But us men have compliments but we're a Thirsty sinner
Just false hope and a haunted app full of ghost
Thirsty Only Fans and stupid *******
Tinder never felt right so I left
Super liked my own business
What's a commitment?
Tinder has always been a joke
Caused me to be broke
I've so paid for the gold and found some Diggers
Full of preps and Only Fan strippers
You swiped right and then left
Account deleted for the 30th time
My ******* pays every dime
Tinder gold, one real joke, I'm hopping off Tinder boat, I've got my life jacket and off to land
Tinder so fake like you don't understand