Thank you for Matching the Tinder Call Center. My name is Nick and I will be helping you with your order today. And your name is?
Hi, (Tinder Match). I'm so glad you called because you do qualify as one of the first 100 people I find attractive!
So Where are you from?
Oh Wow, I've never been there, you ever Been to Portland Maine?
No? Well look at that, I guess we've never been too each others places before.
Looks like we have something in common.
What was it on my profile that got you interested in swiping right?
Oh I see, you liked the beard and
my addiction to Netflix.
How long have you been interested in that?
Wow that's a long time.
you really enjoyed the Office.
What else have you tried to build a good relationship?
Yeah, that must be frustrating.
They seem like a real bad guy.
What's the worst part about dealing with that?
I see, that must be really hard.
Tell me a little bit about why it's so important for you to do something about this now; it's a little different for everyone.
I see, you can't love anymore because he broke your heart.
You don't want anything serious right now.
Do you prefer coffee or tea?
you're right, Yerba Mate is fantastic with maple syrup.
What's your favorite meal of the day?
Yeah, breakfast is amazing.
What kind of music do you like?
Twenty One Pilots saved your life? that's Unbelievable.
what does your bedroom look like?
Covered in artwork and paper lanerns?
You know, (tinder match). I can't wait for you to start seeing me, and feeling Happy.
As my profile states,
I am a Geeky, Confident, Charismatic Optimist who likes to wake up next to people, Watch Netflix, and sing to himself almost always.
And that sounds great doesn't it?
Just imagine how wonderful it will feel when you're able to Sit down in Dobra tea. Pass back and fourth our Yerbe Matte Ahumado.
Then go belt out lyrics to Twenty One Pilots in my car on the way back to your place,
have amazing *** under your paper lanterns and wake up the next day to me making you breakfast.
And THAT'S really why you swiped right today, isn't it (Tinder match)?
Excellent! Let's get you started!
As you heard, I've put together a Special Date, with the free Tea. A serenade and car ride. And an extra free second date when you try this First One for just your body. Plus, since you're one of the people I find attractive, I'm gonna throw in a Third date. so you get three, for the price of one! And remember that dating me is risk-free because it's backed by my 30-day Text you back guarentee.
So what's the best number I can reach you at?
I understand your hesitation, (tinder match). When we first started talking you had said you'd been dealing with bad relationships for a long time right? Once you start seeing me you'll see an increase in happiness within the first two dates. And if you never have to worry about being sad again, you'd say it was worth trying wouldn't you?
Right! So what's your snapchat username?
Perfect, and your Cell phone number?
Alright, and a day you're free?
And what's a good time to meet?
Awesome, okay (Tinder Match). And I'm also told to inform you of our special super saver package today. You'll get to go out on a date with me, and my friend Sally for the same low price of just your body. Imagine what it'd be like experiencing the both of us at the same time! Scientists have proven that polyamorous relationships are more happy, more healthy, and result in less overall stress. Which is really what you're looking for isn't it?
Great so I'll just have her tag along alright?
Thank you very much and just to confirm, I'll see you on Wednesday at 12:00pm at Dobra Tea, alright?
Alright have a nice day (Tinder Match.)
I started working at a call center and thought this was too perfect not to make.