I took a vacation from myself
And my standard personality
My vices and virtues left behind
I became someone new

Sheded my skin
Evacuated my shell
Molted my feathers
And wandered off to the abyss

What I once called the truth
What I once named false
Both thrown up in the air
Now I see which falls into my lap

Sharing ****** pleasures with men and women alike
In an illustrious ***** affair

Smoking herb, dropping out and drinking the forbidden wine

With no second thought
With no regret or remorse

No rules
No laws
No restrictions

Rebelling against myself
And whatever is given to me
But why?
How come?

To test limits
To break through
To a place of nothing
No gods
No kings
No me

To test myself
My boundaries
To abandon my comfort zone
And take a trip to the edge, then go over it

I’ve been to the land
Of discipline
Of self control
Of obedience
And conformity

Faded out to the valley of shadows
Nowheresville
Population me

I’ll return
To my roots
Soon enough

With the knowledge
Of how far I’ll go
How deep I care to let myself go
How heavy a load I can carry

Loosening my grip of reality
Only to adjust it
To a level of pressure that suites me best

Make changes in myself
To be the person I want to be

Rearrange my life
And see what I actually believe

So until I come home, peace be with you
If I’m not back in ten minutes
Just wait a little bit longer

SO thanks to that ******* groundhog we have six more weeks of winter.

SO I'm really hoping once spring and summer get here I'll be back to my normal self again.

NO more love sickness
NO more broken hearts
NO more Sheded Tears
NO more False hopes
NO moreI love you's
NO moreBeing a Love Sick Puppy

SO Hopefully after this winter I'll be over my emotions and back to my Old, empty, tired, worthless, isolated, not giving a **** what you say or think about me self again.

I won't have a guy that makes me feel like I need to look pretty because I won't give a ****
I won't have a guy that makes me feel like I'm not deserving of his love or attention Because guess what? Oh that's right...
I won't give a ****

SO naturally I have some Season Hope in me.

There was a time when i believed in falling
for falling is the first step to trust
and trust, i have lacked for the last few years
because sheded tears caused my steel heart to rust
for a while i was convinced there was a spark
hidden under heaps of high expectations and hope
past the overthinking, right next to quaint smiles and glances, and hidden under the wish that we’d finally elope
but love isn’t built with empty promises
nor is it molded with the lovley, “if only”
because when you fall in love with the idea of someone
falling turns to broken, the broken can’t mend, and your back to being desperate and lonely
i wish being loved wasn’t so difficult
but if it was easier no one would dare to fall
because we’d rather be shattered from falling with faith
than stay safe with nothing at all

I was just thinking about you
After all these many years ago
Thinking about how much I still love you
How I just let you go

Life is sometimes a fountain
Sometimes I was just a fool
There is a pool of sorrow
Full of precious jewels

I can't help think of what might have been
What would have happened
Had I accepted your open invitation
imagining what could have been

With my life nearly over
I sheded love like autumn sheds her leaves
And I have my mountains of regret
and eternity to grieve

Still I see you sitting prettily
I guess you will always be twenty three
And I will be an epic of love lost
A fire still burning within me .

I am strong
Yes I am, Yes I am
Everyday a new,
Big or small problem
Life throws, it does
I simply smile and accept it
As a lost piece of this huge
Puzzle called life
And try to adjust it into myself
I try to be the tree, that sheds all its leaves
But never breaks down itself!
Some days, I get painted with
The darkest colours, the gloomy colours
Then I mix it up with the brightest ones
Give rise to a new one and paint myself
Cause I have learnt, these dark colours
Gives the right value to the bright ones
As the sheded leaves of autumn and dry branches of winter
Gives the value to the spring flowers!

Right from a toddler
To a being 18 years old,
It provided shade ;
Like an orchard along the road.

The oldest tree in the orchard
that lived its life to the fullest,
Laughing, enjoying and
lighting the dark
Dancing to the tunes of,
the hustles and bustles of life.

The seasons passed one by one,
Spring has gone,
And winter has come.
The youthful and dynamic tree
Began sheding its bright leaves and flowers,
Unrushed one by one.

The winter embraced the orchard,
Alas!the oldest tree could'nt revive.
All its leaves were sheded at once,
Leaving the tree pale without an ardour.

The tree lost suddenly all its charm,
'O Grandpa!'you have gone for lifetime
The memories of the tree ,
Will be cherished for the rest of life.
By the enduring trees in the orchard.

The tree is gone forever
On that quiet,windy,dark night;
When all the angels came down to earth,
To show the tree its way to paradise.

Just then all the trees of the orchard
Moved from their side pastel and shattered
To pay homage for one last time,
Deeply grieved by the loss for life,
All of them gathered to,
Offer a bouquet of love.