I take deep breaths

And plan a ******

To **** the bird that flew

Over the crow's nest


On a summer night

I feel the warmth

Of the day not yet done

The sound of laughter

Is all around me

This is cool- I say


I find myself lying on a surgery table

Holding an apple in my hand

I throw it against the floor

And landing there

It bursts into a million

Children of my mind

Spreading into every

Country on the planet

I am the new master

As my children grow and grow

Still in rags I speak

And throw my thoughts into a bin

Their work is finished you see


Still the sound of laughter

Carries on around me

Living is easy

With your head

In the clouds


I saw- and still I hear

The giggles and noises

Of delightful romances being

Born

These should be mine

But they are not mine

Such things are little more than

Mist or whispers

Promises not yet realised

My children sympathise

And bringing me a woman

To sit with me in the tall grass

Together we shall

Plan a life instead

Yes it's true
There was a time we held hands and cried
There was a time her lights guided us into the unknown
There was a time with the ukulele on the roof
And we all wore those green pants
And vomited while her grandfather slept in the basement
There was a time with sharpie and antiques
Holes in our heads
And babies that were kind
Snow and sun ceased to shimmer
from the yells of rebellion
Bare feet and carpet friction
Pine tree ink on toes
We hushed the fire
The guitar speaks best after midnight
And the fall articulates with a resounding whisper
Of nervous hands touching in your mother’s car
Like once the sun goes down we all go mad
And teenage years squirm out of the grasp
Of slowly stilling blood
There was a time where we all looked up
And saw endless navy
Snakes in lakes
And ignorant love trapped beneath the tide
There was a time
I braided her hair
And told her to never cry over her freckles
We slept on cots and bugs and dreams
In the night the wolves were louder than
her slowly decaying soul
But now three years later
It’s the only song left in my mind

It all started out fine
The most unique bunch of people I've ever had the privilege of meeting are reunited
First snow fall
We smoke in large numbers, we openly express our love for one another
I am in love
Expired cards scrap the surfaces of mirrors, everyone's snorting something
Facing fears
One on one we discuss our issues, our vices
A few get angry, no blood shed
A couple begin to fight, many tears shed
I find myself spinning, I find myself between both my ex's and my ex best friend
We are at peace together even though we struggle to find peace when alone
Morning comes and no one has slept
The rooms cold
Eyes like sunken ships and black holes
We see things we don't want to see
We find out things we didn't want to know
It all started with smoking in numbers, now it's a shaky home

I wonder whose arms I would run and fall into if I were drunk in a room with everyone I have ever loved

I'm on a strike
I refuse
To spend the rest of autumn
Pretending to be whole without you
And I swear
I will not leave this bed
Until I wake up and find you in it