feeling oceans growing
in between me and everyone I love
and thought that would always be there
guess they won't
and neither will I
I'd rather be all alone
than to keep begging for your love
your time
and your help.
guess I'm the only one left anyway

I was created from car crashes and cigarette smoke and alcohol and neglectful and broken parents
I was created from their hurt
I was created to be hurt
I was born unlovable
I was born not being able to love
I was born sad
I was born with a name that means to be brave
I was born with a curved spine and was made into a titanium one
I was made into long legs and unruly brown hair and green eyes and loud opinions with a soft voice
I was made to be resilient.

In my desperate search for true love;
I lost myself.

Like the darkness
of the womb,
I'm deep in
murky waters.
Darkness
which will consume
your sons
and your daughters.
The tide
retracts slowly.
The moon
shines bright.
Both the holy
and unholy
Dance together
tonight.

We frolic
after sun set
For the light
is taunting.
Oh where has
the joy went?
It's memory
is haunting.
Torment cuts
me deeply,
I'm cocooned in
despair.
Thoughts of suicide
briefly
Not that anyone
would care.

We hold hands in
the darkness,
Enslaved to
lunar cycles.
Slaves to Satan
incarnate,
and his unrighteous
disciples.
White faces, suits and ties,
dress shoes
and clean shaven.
That's Lucifer's disguise
He's enthroned in
every nation.

I'm drowning
in the ocean,
Saltwater
fills my lungs.
Take me far from
the commotion,
Away from beating
war drums.
I was infected
as a youth,
With a curse
that's everlasting.
The pain of
knowing truth,
Society
is crashing.

I'm floating
through the stars
The emptiness
cradles me.
I'm floating
oh so far
From senseless
fatalities.
****** brings
early death
To my hopeless
generation.
Choking on their
last breath
With suicidal  
infatuation.

I hold hands
with my demons
Together
we walk alone
My legs
start to weaken.
Splintering
in my bones.
It won't be
too long now,
Soon I will
disintegrate.
So I guess I'll
take a bow
And accept our
woeful fate.

you are
a gentle giant
a peaceful
riot
you don't
know what
you are
in for

it's violently
delicious
and equally
as viscous

these sounds
escape
the mess
of your
mouth

i am
not a phase
or
a temporary escape
i just don't
know what
i am
good for

Here’s a toast
To the beginning of the rest of our lives
We’ll relish in contemporary high end curtains + urban loft fitted sheets
We’ll speak of sunlight, rain + what to wear to a Company dinner on a Tuesday night in the Middle of May because what’s mine is yours.
We’ll exchange opinions + fail exceptionally at escaping our desire to love
We’ll say words we regret.
I’ll shamelessly sleep on the couch at night more than once.
We’ll play in the garden of the deceased until daylight+laugh ourselves into silence,
We’ll deal well.
You’ll fuel my fire + I’ll fuel yours.
I wonder what our ghosts would say.