Like little marbles in a child's toy box
rolling around in forgotten shimmers.
A little glory that meant nothing-
that was our first kiss.
It's a perilously thin line
being in lust and being in love.

I watch you grew from nothing
to everything.
My little bean's first step
the steady heart beat that grew into marching shoes
I watched my bean put on his uniform
a little picture of me he carried in his pocket
The tiny hands that once reached for me
Are now holding onto a barrel, squeezing a trigger
I used to sit by the window
watching my bean hop off that yellow bus
shiny shoes and sun burnt cheeks
Now i sit by the window
men in uniforms holding your belongings
My little bean's face flashed in my mind like a thousand films
Those childish eyes and chubby cheeks are now for god to see
My bean will never come home to me.

Today, i found a picture of you
I cried
you were holding me as a baby
my mother standing behind you
the only complete family photo ive ever been in
you look just like me
the crooked smile, flat nose, hooded eyes
I will never know you
But i dont need to
Ive never wished heaven was real more than this moment
if any chance it is and youre smiling down
I want you to konw
mom has never said an ill word about you
thank you for being my father for a brief moment
I'm doing fine
and oh
i will never complain about my nose again
Its not ugly at all
it looks like yours.

32,400 minutes
I spent awkwardly behind a desk
stealing little glances at you.

540 hours
you never did notice me
but i know every curve of your face.

360 days
that's all i had
little glances, unfocused lessons, and that golden hair

2 souls
never colliding, frozen in small glances
one in an ignorant bliss; another drying her tears.

I love everything about her

She is a good girl
She loves poems
She loves funny jokes
She loves reading
She loves stargazing
She loves cooking
She loves her family
She loves her friends
She loves dogs
and I love her

But she loves her boyfriend.

The feelings of new sheets
and freshly shaven legs
The smell of the ocean
in a toasty summer air
The grin of someone you passed by
a shared joy among strangers
Find those little things
that make you happy
until it becomes a habit