My dream girl found a lover
She speaks of him in rhyming lines
the joy she feels dancing between every heart shaped syllable,
thumbing it's nose at my breaking heart.

My dream girl found a lover
the deal was sealed with a rain soaked kiss
and hands that fit just-so.
A love tightly bound,
according to her rose tinted ink.

My dream girl found a lover
I hope he hears the fragility in her sighs
over the beauty that radiates when her smile crinkles her nose,
for that alone can distract a man from the sound of breaking.

My dream girl found a lover
to mend her broken heart,
a coveted position filled.
Leaving me forever dreaming
of almosts and half smiles.

Go grab your wetsuit
your sunblock and wax
go get a clean towel
put them all in your pack
I'll watch as the sun beams from your face
and feel the breeze stirred by your running flip-flopped feet
I'll laugh as you shout "YES" and fistpump the air
This is us.
Our thing.
We.
Surfs up li'l dude!

I call you for dinner
at the roast beef you glare
you sulk at the table
and kick at my chair
"I don't want it" you cry
"I hate veggies" you moan
but a young boy can't live on Mcnuggets alone!

You call me a meanie
you say it's not fair
to make you eat green stuff
"I won't eat it, so there!"

You hunch up your shoulders
arms crossed, lips shut tight
your stare is defiant
as you fight for your right
to eat what you want to
and do as you please
my 5 year old rebel
with scabs on both knees

You'll eat it eventually
and I'll secretly laugh
'cause round two is coming
I'm running your bath!

I came across a fool today
hiding behind a profile
used for spite and hate
a pitiful soul
wrapped warmly
in unjustified ego
Words meant to hurt
did so, I fear
for his momentary satisfaction
a cunning smile twisted on his filth filled mouth
while the sun now threatens to leave my sky
it's light forever diminished.

We grew up together
I pulled your hair, you kicked my shins...repeatedly....with vigour
I taught you to skateboard
You taught me to tip cows....make a rope swing and cheat at kiss chase
I taught you to roll cigarettes
You taught me to shoot whiskey, drop acid and roll joints
I took you to the fairground
You took me to an illegal rave and screamed RUN!!! when the police arrived
Years between us, you older, me younger
Yet here I am, the bad influence
While your **** smells of roses!
I showed you my writing
You gave me directions....here
I will always be grateful for that
I will always be grateful for you.

My lazy eyes lap at your thighs,
their jiggles my kryptonite.
Why lust for skin and bone?
bodacious beauty passes by, unnoticed by the blind.
I see it all,
curves and dimples
marshmallow soft and twice as sweet
call my name and boost my blood!

My stare is caught in your embarrassed eye
As you presume negativity not positive effect
pulling at your dress, hiding all you own.
You are beauty supersized,
as my lazy eyes lap at your thighs.

Get up!!
Blue skies and crashing waves are bound!
Warm sand on wet toes ours for the taking!
Come on!

Come every morning you're up with the sun
with hundreds of questions before breakfasts done
like what is a rainbow and where is the dark?
what's that? and why's? can we go to the park?
the beach? the woods? as I sit here and dream
must we have cereal? I want ice cream!
You sit at the table, eyes wide, mine half shut
and chat to the cat about dinosaur stuff
how you like pterodactyls but school, not so much
you rummage through cereal in hope of a toy
one way to amuse such a curious boy
the cat swipes  the box, makes it fall to the floor
"there goes our breakfast!" as sweet laughter roars
you slurp at your juice as I sip at my tea
so it's ice cream for breakfast for you and for me.

Dog lies baskin'
music blastin'
barbecue cookin'
beer chillin'
friends laughin'
kids playin'
Sitting on my sweet ***
procrastinatin'
no scarf, no coat
no socks, no shoes
These are the cures for the summertime blues.

The morning rain
incessantly taps my window
in hope of response.
It calls me down to frosted beaches
with tarnished rocks and angry seas.
There lays the peace my soul desires,
amongst the waves my heart once claimed as home.

Wakey Wakey, rise and shine
greet the morning with a smile
wide awake and feeling fine
dancing with this boy of mine.

Twisting on the kitchen floor
the monkey, the jive and many more,
the mashed potato, the hustle too
he follows my lead with a giggle or two.

There's a hound dog, a jailhouse, some blue suede shoes
as we Rave On  with Buddy and Peggy Sue
Reet Petite makes an entrance and whips up the crowd
"Turn it up Daddy, I want this real loud!"

Then on to the Land of a Thousand Dances
even the dog's grinning wide as she prances
we take Three Steps to Heaven and meet Cathy's clown
then on to the next one, no time to sit down.

So I'll fry up the bacon as my little bug jitters
and poach us some eggs with some sweet 'tato fritters
as I sing of Lucille, Maggie may and Delilah,
then Shake Rattle and Roll to those Great ***** Of Fire.

I watch you sleeping,
Impossibly long eyelashes, black as rooks
flutter against yesterday's sun blushed cheeks,
small digits twitching,
right thumb firmly in mouth
suckling salt soaked skin.

You are the sea my boy,
the earth, the moon and stars.

I sip at my coffee,
eyed by Spiderman
as the Joker grins
and the Riddler envies Dr Seuss.

This moment is perfection,
a little bit of calm
before the tornado hits
with the blue of your eyes.

The saddest song I've ever heard
the lyrics of Miss Mockingbird
her pain it rails aloud in verse
who doomed her to this bitter curse?
her words they soothe, yet tear my heart
as love lies bleeding, torn apart.
I sent a message, just to see
If at her mercy I could be
in friendship fair across the miles
joined in pain and lovelorn smiles
this siren I have never known
with knowing smile and broken bones
replied with grace at once to this
and left me with an angels kiss.

The lady is an hourglass
A real endearing shape
her eyes have got me grounded
her gaze I can't escape.

The lady is an hourglass
voluptous and curvy
and to be fair, her longing stare
is making me feel pervy.

The lady is an hourglass
and not just skin and bone
she makes me want to dim the lights
and disconnect the phone.

The lady is an hourglass
she looks like she'd be fun
as she smiles at the discomfort
that she seems to cause my mum.

The lady is an hourglass
into her I'd  gladly fall
if she wasn't made of paper
and taped to my bedroom wall.

Messages from strangers
Speak of waging war.
Go play jump roap,
Marbles, hopscotch.
All are fine playground games
British bulldog or dodgeball
tag or kiss-chase....
What's the time Mr Wolf?

The kids they just keep coming
and knocking on my door
expecting tons of candy
then a bellyache I'm sure!
The Mummy, Count Dracula, Frankenstein too
Cruella and Yoda and Sweet ****** doo
I love all their costumes, there's been no sight finer
'cause I used to trick or treat in a bin liner!

What if I told you that I loved you? What if I told you that you bring morning to life, that you are the sole character of every dream, positions varying, unlike your silent gaze.

What if I told you that your smile lights my sky better than any star could, what then?
That I have cried at your words a thousand times, as syllables needle sharp fight their war to hold you together, while I can only watch as he knowingly rips you apart.

These words are mine, thrown by my jealous tongue at your fools institution. Words of love to the jaded (though you'd say wise). Everyday you fade as I watch the horizon, hoping for your smile.
What if?

Funny how a photograph can pump blood
I only have one of you, it isn't mine
it sits here backlit
shared with all that would gladly drown in those mischief eyes.
Your smile, a moment of calm, a second of perfection caught, always brings my own.
There is no beauty like yours, no work of art has ever made me want to overflow with passion the way you do. I could write countless poems, a thousand odes to your dimples, a million sonnets to your curls, a billion lovesongs to your eyes to no avail. So I'll laugh at your jokes, and be a sturdy shoulder, a friend.  I'll wish the best for you always, while your heart keeps my secret safe. Poets shouldn't fall in love with the unloved, there aren't enough words to describe the agony.

Is HP now a T.V guide?
It drives me to distraction
to see these adds on the front page
when I want some poem action.
Our poets are all writing
and posting stuff to read
but the room is being taken up
by adds for crap tv.
So listen up dear spammers
this warning you should heed
shove your ****** adverts
anywhere but on my feed!!

The plaster is off
and everything's fine
the rehabs a killer
but it passes the time
These weight bearing stretches
can't go on forever
as titanium rods hold my poor leg together.

How loud is too loud for Slipknot?
Ask my neighbour.

collaboration with calpurnia mockingbird*

Bite me, muse
You night time lover
fairweather fickle demon of writes
you shake your stuff in my direction
then run off laughing in the night.

Up yours, muse,
you wanton harlot
spewing fragments, bits of rhymes
take your teasing from my doorstep
sorry *****, don't have the time.

*******, muse
you stinking skiprat
get to steppin' set me free
you mock my gaze with great affection
help me out or leave me be!

******* muse, my new expression
take your words and shove them there
your sun don't shine in my direction
this poems **** but I don't care.

My niece came round for dinner
promising lots of laughs
with pizza and a movie
since I'm stuck here on my ****
she brought a pepperoni
good and spicy just for me
the DVD she brought along
added the extra cheese.
It was a tale of vampires
poor persecuted folks
that fall in love with schoolgirls
as I sat waiting for the jokes
The fun was not forthcoming
thought my niece seemed quite enthralled
with this badly acted nightmare
as I sat there appalled
I saw a good bit coming
as the blazing sun shone down
on the pasty long dead hero
thinking that in flames he'd drown.
I waited for destruction
for the burning pain to start
Instead the ****** twinkled
like a little glowing star.
I've never seen such *******
such complete and utter crap
as our pasty long dead hero
glowed inside the vampire trap.
By the end my niece was crying
and frankly so was I
when she reached down for the sequel
with a tear still in her eye.
I told her I was fine now
I begged her to go home
I told her I was happy
to be here on my own.
But the little brat insisted
that I watch the whole ****** lot
I told her it's a broken leg
not a lobotomy I've got.
I quickly sent her packing
back to her own sweet home
with her ****** little box set
and to leave me well alone.

Why so sad my morning angel
did the darkness clip your wings
pull your heart down here from heaven
to settle where the reaper sings.

Why so sad my pretty blossom,
see your weakened petals fall
once you ruled the wildflower hillside
with hope and wonder for us all.

Please lift your heart and sing a lovesong
sing of aching burning need,
sing of limbs entwined and stirring
hidden places, planted seed.

Won't you lift your song to heaven
spread your wings and count to ten
'cause lingering deep within your passion
is where I found my soul again.

a collaboration with Calpurnia Mockingbird*

If you have something to say, say it. Don't bite your tongue, swallow those words down, set them free.

Set them free that I may hear them, feel them crashing into my consciousness and lifting up my eyes to yours.

Make a wish as candles gutter, wish for me, for us, for an end to this mess of limbs and longing.

Say your prayers, kneel before all that you've ever wanted and plead for remorse.

Sing your song, others may dance to the melody but the rhythm will always be ours alone.

Write me a letter in indelible ink, that those words will always stain my world and sting my eyes.

Take my hand, my beating heart within your palm, so the world may know that once, we loved.

Why finger paint on paper
why use paper at all?
These tiny prints of blue and red
look great on the living room wall.

The purple suits the bathroom
while the kitchen's in the pink.
the green attacked the bathtub
as the black conquered the sink.

The hallway's like a rainbow
coloured smears for all to see
the bedroom wall? an explosion
in a skittles factory!

Oh I see! It was an accident!
Your fingers ran amok
hyper loaded with these colours
and their spree you couldn't stop!

You stand there flushed, with tear in eye
while staring at your shoes,
as I pull my best angry face,
it fails, you look too cute.

You know what works, though young in years
a Jedi knight in 'jamas,
your mind tricks quickly smoothing out
My rage at each disaster.

I take full responsibility,
this mantra now my own,
never have a lie-in
when Picasso-boy is home.

My darling you could keep my heart in your locker
but your Dad is a wrestler, your brothers are Dockers,
so on our hot lovin' they have put the mockers
'cause I  don't have the guts to face violent cockblockers.

You like to take selfies
You sure like to ROFL
You taught me of two girls, one cup and blue waffles
Your knowledge is endless on things such as these
If only your brothers weren't so hard to please.

They think I'm a man *****, a bounder, a cad,
a love shy lothario, a bit of a "lad"
on this I won't argue, the point is well made
but I'm young (ish) and ***** and like to get laid.

They think you're an angel
but that's not the case
'cause the photos you sent me
were not of your face....

I thunder down corridors
the wind in my hair
days spent staring at the ceiling
has made me a little crazy
So tonight I roll with my brother
taking corners sideways
howling with laughter
as we make our bid for freedom
and the sweet night air.

Never doubt that you are loved.
You are a spark of light in someone's darkness.
A monsoon to the thirsty
A banquet to the starved.
An undeniable force of nature
A beating heart against the silence
A hand to hold 'til fear subsides
You are all this and more to many.
You are all this and more to me.
Believe.

I do enjoy your poems
but his I cannot stand
and now I find, to my surprise
you might be the same man

Although the names are different,
the scathing natures strong
and now I read that others here
have thought it all along!

Though yours have some intelligence
and his are total *****
There's something so familiar
In the way both of you write

So I'll sit back and ponder this a while
a mystery its true
then maybe get the nerve to ask
is Loghain Carvo you?

The man in the van
Started hatching his plan
Down the street at a quarter to four
With his clipboard and tie
and his best lizard smile
He purposefully knocked on my door.
"Do you have a license?"
his voice broke the silence
I stood there and claimed common law
I told him his kind on my land were not welcome
asked him to step away from my door.
He said "could I step inside for a second to see if you have a TV.
I told him get lost as he told me the cost
of getting television for free.
I stood there and mocked
he was really quite shocked
by my laughter and absence of fear
at a thousand pound fine, maybe even some time
at her majestys service for me.
I then, quite politely closed the door behind me
as I marched him tout suite down my path
straight back to his van, this strange little man
while the neighbours all watched with a laugh.
"You're breaking the law"
He told me once more
as I put the poor ****** inside
I closed the door tightly
and then so politely
Waved *******, as home I did stride.

Please don't take those pills
the ones you told me about.
Lined up, neat rows, single file
in all colours, organised harm.
You said you'd had enough
bone tired, broken you
crying down the line
to bone tired, broken me
as if I could save you from yourself.
No-one ever could.
Sacrifice yourself to life, not death
death is darkness and you, sweetest girl
are light beyond vibrancy
my lullaby at night, my morning song
my fragile, fearsome, wondrous friend.

The walk to school this morning
was an interesting affair
we talked of life and jellybeans
as laughter filled the air.
Your cape it started flapping
In the sea shore breeze
You shouted you were flying
higher than the tallest trees.
You kicked a hundred pebbles up
to orbit round the moon
and on your head you placed a wig
of finest seaweed green.
Then as we approached the gates
you ran inside to play
your cape gone south
your wig askew
that's how you start your day.
The children all dressed neatly
hair parted, brushed and combed
but you my boy, in cape and wig
the finest of them all.

Hanging from the rockface
fingers chalked, knuckles white
breathing in the view.
Feeling the rush, hearing the roar
gulls circle above, as you run below,
small against the landscape
kicking up sand and laughter
begging to join me up here
pleading to play with grapples and knots
no fear of falling, no fear at all,
there is no danger in danger when you're 6
Not when your Dad is Spiderman.

Where do you go? When you're not here? Do you miss me? I do.

I miss the me that was without all that you are.
I miss the me before that moment when the earth stopped spinning at your hello.
I miss the me that believed in love and had not witnessed the irony of your beautiful scars.
I miss the me that didn't hurt, that rode the wave and let things be what they would.
I miss the me that never felt your touch, that never brought his lips to yours.

Now, I am consumed. Swirling within your grief at being taken, drowning within my grief at the sound of our boy's laughter.

Now I am lonely, my thoughts of you driving me further from the light and deeper into a melancholy orbit, where the only existence is within your unbeating heart.

I see you, all the time, a suggestion of the life I could have had, had the reaper played fairly, his attraction to your flame stronger than mine.

There is no regret here, I loved, deeply and without remorse, every inch of your being.

But today, I'll die a little. For you.

I'm feeling a little bit prickly
Like the ******* son of a porcupine
created on a misspent night with an over amorous cactus.

I'm trying to shake it off,
staring at blank paper
while it flips me the bird
as I **** into the wind,
feeling like the next government health warning
model looks on a ***** billboard
my edges tattered

Friends'll get you nowhere but down
thats life in a nutshell
pettiness and spite reign all
in "hallowed halls"
however nicely put.

Calls unanswered, messages lost
delivery reports mock my waiting
and bristle my backbone
with their happy chimes.
I want to slap myself so hard that my skin rings
but to what purpose.

Stupid is as stupid does,
the new mantra
stick it on a t shirt for the "tourists"
with the obligatory hashtag
for the smiley faced patronisers
.com .org  .bored

Waking up
here comes the day
all it's glory
packed away
I light a smoke
and greet the sun
with last night's liquor on my tongue
my eyes they burn
my head feels cracked
I'm far too old for nights like that!

She sings, mostly at night, pouring words from her coveted heart
tapestries rich with regret and carnal groans, bring heat and quench thirst
with tears.
She sings, do you hear her melody
as it reaches in to chill your soul?
I am obsessed with her fluid form
as she runs through our midst
wearing her path through life's granite sidings.
She is everything and nothing to all. She is both the glory of sunrise and the fear within darkness. A riddle within the enigma of an existence mourned. I celebrate the death of each lover that has serenaded without honour at her broken threshold, overjoyed by the lack of harmony as they flounder within her precious stare.

I love the way your smile just sits there
Comfortably
Beneath the mischief in your eyes.
You have that look
like you know what you've got going on
but without the arrogance to match.

We talk about life
Yours, mine
It makes me wish we had an "ours"

I wish I could shake this feeling of betrayal
this hatred of my feelings as they bloom
I promised to never love another...

though I find myself wondering how your hair smells
how your sighs sound
how your silhouette would fill the dark with light..

how foolish to fall in love through words
but the more the words fall
the more I find myself falling with them
helpless against the flow
my rudder trashed
my course set
by your compass
pulling me to my true North
as I fight to hold on to my ghosts.

**** girl!
Frustration strips my veins as I read your dreams, tempting me with fire
Don't you know I already burn in your flame?

**** girl!
You laugh at my blushes and tease my conscience, as I shake like a poorly mixed cocktail that wants only to slip down your silken throat.

**** girl!
I ask what you're doing, laying supple, arched by the words of angels your reply. My warning wasted on deafened ears.

**** girl!
You don't see what you've got, I do, does he? I'm flesh and blood, close enough to touch, though your soft skin never graces mine.

**** girl!
****!

For Calpurnia**

You say you're getting old
the years are flying by
your hair is slowly greying
and there's wrinkles round your eyes.
Those wrinkles made by laughter
just add to your collection
of all the little things that show
the depth of your affection.
Let today be filled with laughter
and let tomorrow pay
get loud, get drunk, get rowdy
I've seen how hard you play!
Life begins at 40
for you I'm sure it's true
I'll raise a glass and hope to have
40 more years of you.

Why fight against the world so hard?
Does your hatred never stop?
Your poems sit here on my tongue
Like bitter lemon drops

What's shaken your compassion?
who put darkness at your core?
Do you scowl down at the paper
As you write your nevermores?

Why not try being happy
try some kindness one or twice
and shed your bitter cloak for good
defrost your heart of ice

I sit and read your poems
and I wonder who's behind
this anger oozing through the screen
but the truth I'll never find

So I say to you good lady
Get a grip, some therapy
and let a little light in
to your tower of misery.

I hate jigsaws,
****** happy pictures
cut into shapes
so we can
put them back together
and smile at how far we've come,
only to rip them apart
and scatter their pieces
haphazardly
without a shred of care.
I hate jigsaws
they remind me of what we've become
they remind me that the word human has no place within the word humanity anymore.

You're the sparkle on the tinsel
You're the twinkling of the lights
You're the tiny bells that jingle
Though you're hidden out of sight.

You're the music in his laughter
You're the mischief in his eye
You're the happy sigh that shook me
as I kissed our son goodnight.

You're the tears that fall in silence
You're the strength that keeps me sane
You're the one I'll always long for
Til someday we meet again.

Oh how she shimmers
made from the glare of the morning sun
she passes through my world in the briefest instant
My breath captured forever within her deep blue stare.
I can only watch as her dress skims her honeyed skin,
her scent, forever lingering amongst the breezes and leaves
will always stir my soul to sing.

My sweet innocent boy
My 5 years of wonder
will you remember her?
How she lit up like Christmas when you smiled?
How your tiny sneezes brought wild laughter
Head thrown back, radiant in the joy of her creation!
How she paced the floor, wishing your pain was her own?
How your tiny fingers curled in her hair?
The songs that sang you to sleep?
The hours she spent, just watching
waiting for your eyes to open?
Her memory is ours alone.
All that is left of her, I see in you.
My boy.

That cut grass smell, freshens the morning
reminding me of your visit.
How you rolled in it with my boy
as he shouted "Grass fight!!" and you bellowed the theme from Dambusters,
a tied sheet your makeshift cape
as his laughter sent other birds to flight.
How you told him that you were 5 too.. but descended from giants
his eyes widening at the mystery of you, this woman-child with hair of fire.
You entertained us with ease and drove out sadness with bad knock knock jokes and good candy.
I knew in that moment that life was good.
He knew in that moment that it was ok to just be him..... because you were just you.

There was a boundary, a clear line, a stop sign
I overstepped the mark
saw the curve of your smile and wanted to taste it
I watched you, the way your lips drew on your cigarette
the way they move when you speak
and suddenly I was there
leaping the wall between us
breaking barriers that should remain.
I threw caution to the wind
and with a stinging slap you threw me in the trash.

Home again
the post surgery high long gone
anaesthetic only numbs so much
spending days just sitting,
stagnating with your photo's
and scarlet ringleted dreams
of friendships saved by other methods.
Many coloured sprinkles of poison
line my dresser in precise rows
I sit as the clock watches me watch it,
no thunder running through the halls seems strange but oddly comforting in it's absence.
This constant itch in plaster binding
could drive me to drink, if I could reach the tinkling cabinet of liquid safety but instead you and ink become my drug of choice, one to cause the pain, the other to move it on, a cycle known to all who have travelled with their hearts firmly stitched to their muddy sleeve.