I'll regret you in the morning
but for now, lets have some fun
there's nothing on the telly 
and my working day is done.
I won't call you tomorrow
or even on the next
no need to be your facebook friend
or waste my freebie texts.

I need your taste to thrill me
as into your warmth I slide
with a groan of pure enjoyment
as my stresses run and hide.
I love to taste your honey
as it settles on my tongue,
My God I love you whiskey,
think I'll have another one.

Get up!!
Blue skies and crashing waves are bound!
Warm sand on wet toes ours for the taking!
Come on!

For my Superhero*

If you want it you'll find it
it hides no more from you
than you hide from it.

Dig your heels in,
grit your teeth.
Rejection is an ***,
kick it.
Hard.

That dream you hold,
not the car, or the money,
the one your mind chases in still moments.
Grasp it by the *****.
Run with it.
Start!

Be you, every bit of you.
The original.
Not the one painted over by other artists,
be your own influence.
Let your heart define you as a man,
nothing else.

I love you is not a key to her door, 
never use it as such.
Take your time,there is no finish line,
no race to win.

Kiss deeply, always like the French, never like a goldfish.
Tell her she's beautiful, every day, even on days when it's not true. 

Don't laugh at her jokes if they're not funny, she'll know your faking,
Instead say her joke was crap, if she laughs, she's a keeper!

My theory has been proven son
when all is said and done
this ethos is the very one
that landed me your mum.

My lazy eyes lap at your thighs,
their jiggles my kryptonite.
Why lust for skin and bone?
bodacious beauty passes by, unnoticed by the blind.
I see it all,
curves and dimples
marshmallow soft and twice as sweet
call my name and boost my blood!

My stare is caught in your embarrassed eye
As you presume negativity not positive effect
pulling at your dress, hiding all you own.
You are beauty supersized,
as my lazy eyes lap at your thighs.

"Nothing is sacred" you said, ask away....

Favourite band, colour, song, film, book, poet, author,the list went on
Favourite food, soda, cocktail, ****** position, animal, vegetable, fruit, smell, season, singer, songwriter, tv show..

This endless list of inane questions, hiding the one stuck in my throat like bitter bile.

"What do you see in him?"

Thats the big money question, the answer eludes me whenever I see you together.
Maybe your dappled green sees beauty where my clear blue sees too much ego.
Maybe your heart sings when he kisses your forehead, while my lips ache for the chance.

He doesn't see you, not really, not the you that howls with laughter, head back, snorting with each inhale.
Not the you that pulls weird faces when I take serious calls.
Not the you that I wish was mine...

Only mine.

He makes you different...
Quiet, subdued, Stepford wife.
A good girl. A closed book.
Ignoring his eyes while they wander,
as you avoid the love so obviously in mine.

"Ask me anything" tripped off your tongue
While your expression and the way you shifted said
"Just don't ask me that"

Nothing is sacred.
Except you.

That cut grass smell, freshens the morning
reminding me of your visit.
How you rolled in it with my boy
as he shouted "Grass fight!!" and you bellowed the theme from Dambusters,
a tied sheet your makeshift cape
as his laughter sent other birds to flight.
How you told him that you were 5 too.. but descended from giants
his eyes widening at the mystery of you, this woman-child with hair of fire.
You entertained us with ease and drove out sadness with bad knock knock jokes and good candy.
I knew in that moment that life was good.
He knew in that moment that it was ok to just be him..... because you were just you.

My darling you could keep my heart in your locker
but your Dad is a wrestler, your brothers are Dockers,
so on our hot lovin' they have put the mockers
'cause I  don't have the guts to face violent cockblockers.

You like to take selfies
You sure like to ROFL
You taught me of two girls, one cup and blue waffles
Your knowledge is endless on things such as these
If only your brothers weren't so hard to please.

They think I'm a man *****, a bounder, a cad,
a love shy lothario, a bit of a "lad"
on this I won't argue, the point is well made
but I'm young (ish) and ***** and like to get laid.

They think you're an angel
but that's not the case
'cause the photos you sent me
were not of your face....

I watch you sleeping,
Impossibly long eyelashes, black as rooks
flutter against yesterday's sun blushed cheeks,
small digits twitching,
right thumb firmly in mouth
suckling salt soaked skin.

You are the sea my boy,
the earth, the moon and stars.

I sip at my coffee,
eyed by Spiderman
as the Joker grins
and the Riddler envies Dr Seuss.

This moment is perfection,
a little bit of calm
before the tornado hits
with the blue of your eyes.

Today's the day,
The big one
The prize fight.
4 weeks of intensive training,
religiously practising our art
sleepless nights and drawing boards
anxiety yours, headscratching, mine
have brought us to this fated hour.
This sainted day shall bring a fight
unto vanilla death
but we Jakes men are strong of heart
and you wear your cape of courage well
as we set out with trusted hound
to defend our fortress
and to mock with disdain
the keeps of our rivals.

Take up your arms!
Hold steady...
On my word...
CHARGE!!

Let the sand castle competition begin.

Messages from strangers
Speak of waging war.
Go play jump roap,
Marbles, hopscotch.
All are fine playground games
British bulldog or dodgeball
tag or kiss-chase....
What's the time Mr Wolf?

It took
2 years
1 shrink,
2 consultants,
and several "experts"
to draw the conclusion
that my son is "special"
You'd think with all that book learning
They'd tell me something I don't already know.
How many exams to define love?
How many degrees to diagnose wonder?
How many recommendations of care
before they realise
that I am he
and he is me
and that is all the care we need.

I hate jigsaws,
****** happy pictures
cut into shapes
so we can
put them back together
and smile at how far we've come,
only to rip them apart
and scatter their pieces
haphazardly
without a shred of care.
I hate jigsaws
they remind me of what we've become
they remind me that the word human has no place within the word humanity anymore.

I read your tears this morning,
words written with salt water
eroded a part of me, deep inside.
You are never alone,
Know this, as I plead with you,
beg of you.
I walk, filled with the light you gave me once
I offer it back, on bended knees
as I mourn the loss of your smile.

You smiled today,
just for a second,
and your smile lit a spark
that coloured the cosmos with love.

Tomorrow you leave,
so soon!
too soon?
months of laying on couches ahead.

"Tell me about your childhood"
"How did that make you feel"

You're always quick to take blame,
when it should be at the feet
of the gameplayers,
the nay-sayers
the ones that trickle poison,
trawling their filthy twitching nets
in the hope of catching a morsel
to feed their burgeoning egos.
While they frig in hateful darkness
happily inflated by another ruined soul.

The look on your face
as you realised you were still here
sent me reeling and shattered my soul
as your tiny voice in the silence cried "why?"

I wish I'd closed my ears
late last night.
I wish I hadn't heard
the riot you put as my ringtone.

It was him.
Defences shot up at his voice
usually gruff and hateful
now tear drenched and fearful.
My mind played word tag
filtering out emotion.
Found, out cold, machine breather, for now.

Today they'll wake you
from my nightmare
and plunge you back into yours.

They say "the signs are good"
A term I find strange.
How can a purposeful dance with death
Ever be a good sign.

I'm feeling a little bit prickly
Like the ******* son of a porcupine
created on a misspent night with an over amorous cactus.

I'm trying to shake it off,
staring at blank paper
while it flips me the bird
as I **** into the wind,
feeling like the next government health warning
model looks on a ***** billboard
my edges tattered

Friends'll get you nowhere but down
thats life in a nutshell
pettiness and spite reign all
in "hallowed halls"
however nicely put.

Calls unanswered, messages lost
delivery reports mock my waiting
and bristle my backbone
with their happy chimes.
I want to slap myself so hard that my skin rings
but to what purpose.

Stupid is as stupid does,
the new mantra
stick it on a t shirt for the "tourists"
with the obligatory hashtag
for the smiley faced patronisers
.com .org  .bored

My brother comes to stay today
flown home from distant shores
my twin in all but choices
I have little, he has more.
He mocks my lack of money
and loathes my simple life
but that's ok, I get my kicks
by sleeping with his wife.

He tells me I'm too laid back
Says I should be more slick
though slick is what his wife gets
when I tease her with my ****
Id really love to tell him
how I scratch his darlings itch
and wipe that smirk clean off his face
the condescending *****!

Haters gotta hate
Writers gotta write
Poets gotta wax and wane
about a moonlit night.
Singers gotta sing
Lovers gotta sigh
Me, I gotta go to work
See ya later folks, goodbye!

Why fight against the world so hard?
Does your hatred never stop?
Your poems sit here on my tongue
Like bitter lemon drops

What's shaken your compassion?
who put darkness at your core?
Do you scowl down at the paper
As you write your nevermores?

Why not try being happy
try some kindness one or twice
and shed your bitter cloak for good
defrost your heart of ice

I sit and read your poems
and I wonder who's behind
this anger oozing through the screen
but the truth I'll never find

So I say to you good lady
Get a grip, some therapy
and let a little light in
to your tower of misery.

I do enjoy your poems
but his I cannot stand
and now I find, to my surprise
you might be the same man

Although the names are different,
the scathing natures strong
and now I read that others here
have thought it all along!

Though yours have some intelligence
and his are total *****
There's something so familiar
In the way both of you write

So I'll sit back and ponder this a while
a mystery its true
then maybe get the nerve to ask
is Loghain Carvo you?

The walk to school this morning
was an interesting affair
we talked of life and jellybeans
as laughter filled the air.
Your cape it started flapping
In the sea shore breeze
You shouted you were flying
higher than the tallest trees.
You kicked a hundred pebbles up
to orbit round the moon
and on your head you placed a wig
of finest seaweed green.
Then as we approached the gates
you ran inside to play
your cape gone south
your wig askew
that's how you start your day.
The children all dressed neatly
hair parted, brushed and combed
but you my boy, in cape and wig
the finest of them all.

How loud is too loud for Slipknot?
Ask my neighbour.

I love the way your smile just sits there
Comfortably
Beneath the mischief in your eyes.
You have that look
like you know what you've got going on
but without the arrogance to match.

We talk about life
Yours, mine
It makes me wish we had an "ours"

I wish I could shake this feeling of betrayal
this hatred of my feelings as they bloom
I promised to never love another...

though I find myself wondering how your hair smells
how your sighs sound
how your silhouette would fill the dark with light..

how foolish to fall in love through words
but the more the words fall
the more I find myself falling with them
helpless against the flow
my rudder trashed
my course set
by your compass
pulling me to my true North
as I fight to hold on to my ghosts.

I came across a fool today
hiding behind a profile
used for spite and hate
a pitiful soul
wrapped warmly
in unjustified ego
Words meant to hurt
did so, I fear
for his momentary satisfaction
a cunning smile twisted on his filth filled mouth
while the sun now threatens to leave my sky
it's light forever diminished.

We grew up together
I pulled your hair, you kicked my shins...repeatedly....with vigour
I taught you to skateboard
You taught me to tip cows....make a rope swing and cheat at kiss chase
I taught you to roll cigarettes
You taught me to shoot whiskey, drop acid and roll joints
I took you to the fairground
You took me to an illegal rave and screamed RUN!!! when the police arrived
Years between us, you older, me younger
Yet here I am, the bad influence
While your **** smells of roses!
I showed you my writing
You gave me directions....here
I will always be grateful for that
I will always be grateful for you.

I call you for dinner
at the roast beef you glare
you sulk at the table
and kick at my chair
"I don't want it" you cry
"I hate veggies" you moan
but a young boy can't live on Mcnuggets alone!

You call me a meanie
you say it's not fair
to make you eat green stuff
"I won't eat it, so there!"

You hunch up your shoulders
arms crossed, lips shut tight
your stare is defiant
as you fight for your right
to eat what you want to
and do as you please
my 5 year old rebel
with scabs on both knees

You'll eat it eventually
and I'll secretly laugh
'cause round two is coming
I'm running your bath!

My love for you grows daily
You with your words that cut
like straight edged razors
You with your poems that speak of love
You with your constant melancholy drip
You with your stories of life
I read your heart
I drink your tears
I am consumed by you.
You.
Sweet
Wonderful
Heartbroken
You.

There's a message in my inbox
from a pretty little thing
you know the type blonde hair, tight ***
and words that drip with sin

I'm betting she's a live one
a goer, a screamer, a ride
I bet she'd let me tip her up
and venture deep inside

I reckon I could have her
in positions one and all
while screaming out "yeah baby"
"take it sugar, take it all!"

You'd here our skin a'slapping
as our bodies slam with vigour
as she pushes back against my nuts
I'm feeling like a winner

I'll think of her days later
though not quite as you'd think
she'll come to mind when I apply
the "clap" cream to my ****.

So the moral of this story
this tale of itching woe
is that fun can soon backfire
when you dip your wick in **'

Go grab your wetsuit
your sunblock and wax
go get a clean towel
put them all in your pack
I'll watch as the sun beams from your face
and feel the breeze stirred by your running flip-flopped feet
I'll laugh as you shout "YES" and fistpump the air
This is us.
Our thing.
We.
Surfs up li'l dude!

I think I'd really love her
That girl stood by the bar
Who wouldn't love the way her ******* jiggle when she laughs...
Or how she tosses her hair with all the vanity of the latest pop ****...
or the way she's ******* on that straw with relish....
Makin' me so **** hot my teeth clench with burning need
I'd soon remove those Daisy Dukes,
to taste what lies beneath
I want her knelt before me
wide open, eyes pleading
begging for it
gagging on it
I want to make her *****, just to wash her clean
this angel drenched in whiskey
with a smile of gasoline.

Please don't take those pills
the ones you told me about.
Lined up, neat rows, single file
in all colours, organised harm.
You said you'd had enough
bone tired, broken you
crying down the line
to bone tired, broken me
as if I could save you from yourself.
No-one ever could.
Sacrifice yourself to life, not death
death is darkness and you, sweetest girl
are light beyond vibrancy
my lullaby at night, my morning song
my fragile, fearsome, wondrous friend.

Dog lies baskin'
music blastin'
barbecue cookin'
beer chillin'
friends laughin'
kids playin'
Sitting on my sweet ***
procrastinatin'
no scarf, no coat
no socks, no shoes
These are the cures for the summertime blues.

I miss your California tan,
that birds nest of blonde
you always insisted was styled meticulously.
Your lopsided smile
always accompanied by rolling eyes
whenever I tried to be clever and ultimately failed.
I miss the way your hand fitted in mine
and the way you could never just hold it, without fiddling with my fingers.

You should see our boy now
he brings joy with every breath
and finds magic everywhere
He picked a snail from the garden the other day
to keep as a pet, I said no, snails aren't pets!
he said "mummy will let me" and ran back outside calling for you
searching for your smile
he doesn't understand......
he shouldn't have to.

Waking up
here comes the day
all it's glory
packed away
I light a smoke
and greet the sun
with last night's liquor on my tongue
my eyes they burn
my head feels cracked
I'm far too old for nights like that!

Come every morning you're up with the sun
with hundreds of questions before breakfasts done
like what is a rainbow and where is the dark?
what's that? and why's? can we go to the park?
the beach? the woods? as I sit here and dream
must we have cereal? I want ice cream!
You sit at the table, eyes wide, mine half shut
and chat to the cat about dinosaur stuff
how you like pterodactyls but school, not so much
you rummage through cereal in hope of a toy
one way to amuse such a curious boy
the cat swipes  the box, makes it fall to the floor
"there goes our breakfast!" as sweet laughter roars
you slurp at your juice as I sip at my tea
so it's ice cream for breakfast for you and for me.

She is gone
yet here I linger
within this cruel twist of fate
watching boy become man
alone.

My sweet innocent boy
My 5 years of wonder
will you remember her?
How she lit up like Christmas when you smiled?
How your tiny sneezes brought wild laughter
Head thrown back, radiant in the joy of her creation!
How she paced the floor, wishing your pain was her own?
How your tiny fingers curled in her hair?
The songs that sang you to sleep?
The hours she spent, just watching
waiting for your eyes to open?
Her memory is ours alone.
All that is left of her, I see in you.
My boy.

He tears about with happy shouts
a truck held in his hand
his shoes kicked off, his hat on wrong
as he runs along the sand
He chases gulls with wild intent
of what I do not know
sea snails hear this cacophony
and retreat to their homes
I chase him through the breaking waves
and catch him with a giggle
this force of nature in my arms
with tendency to wriggle
his little arms around my kneck
on my nose he plants a kiss
I stay this way as waves crash in
in sweet paternal bliss.

The saddest song I've ever heard
the lyrics of Miss Mockingbird
her pain it rails aloud in verse
who doomed her to this bitter curse?
her words they soothe, yet tear my heart
as love lies bleeding, torn apart.
I sent a message, just to see
If at her mercy I could be
in friendship fair across the miles
joined in pain and lovelorn smiles
this siren I have never known
with knowing smile and broken bones
replied with grace at once to this
and left me with an angels kiss.

I long to write a striking verse
to make this dark world shatter
but then I see with eyes anew
that words don't ******* matter.

I arrived.
Crashing
Wailing
Screaming
I am grown.
What's changed?